It's more complex than simply wanting to throw money at someone.
It's this stupid idea that you can help someone who is simply unable to figure out life and get some value in exchange.
I think the best realization I've had, especially when I look at ALL of my relationships is that I'm a natural Sugar Daddy fishing in the wrong damn pond.
When I was 19 and my GF needed a car, she got one. And that wasn't the last time.
I've always been the one with the dominant income in all of my relationships and I have leveraged that to deal with issues.
Add to that something of a Wounded-Bird syndrome (I adopt stray animals too) and a leaning toward the codependent, and you have a really good recipe for this. What really gets me is that my female cousin who shares similar background issues does the same damn thing. I'm just in better shape than a lot because I've got enough sense to know that at some point, if the exchange does not even out, it's time to stop.
What's been a real eye-opener is getting an idea of what it really means to be a real sugar daddy, what to look for in a sugar baby worth investing in and to raise the bar as for what I'm really seeking.
Keep in mind also, that you're getting my perspective from the angle of working my way out of things. I'm posting a lot of this for a few reasons, one being to purge some of the emotional content and another being to hopefully give some insights to other men stuck in the same trap.
I do think some of the things that have evolved in our society just before the start and during my lifetime have really been hard on men. I compare the relationship and caring I witnessed with my grandparents versus the behavior of both genders from my father's generation to today and I'm appalled. And it's taken me a long time to understand myself and my behaviors, but I do have to look at both my mother and step-mother and thank them for giving me a really good conditioning in these areas.
It is very liberating to be just get up and leave a psychobitch starting her tanturm stranded at the restaurant (her ride left her there, I did pay my tab!), to just plain tell the girl ya catch talking to other guys after she's told you she wants to be exclusive to kick rocks, to decline to help a situation when my advice is ignored. To own what is my own shit and do other people the true kindness of letting them own their own shit.
I think you have to be there to understand it. The abuse in both our histories allows me to understand my cousin and others who have gone through it and the way it fucks up your thinking. What I don't understand is how anyone can be so stuck that they cannot find a way out, I have.
I said this this this morning in an email to another hobbyist who reached out to me trying to explain some situation he got himself in and I think it applies here as well:
If you wanna throw your money away! Throw it this way!! I promise to put it to good use! I may live in a really nice apartment (the cost equivalent of a private home + incall - i just prefer one highly secure spot) but other than that I live very frugally! I don't give money to a manager or pimp or homegirl or driver or boyfriend, cousin, neighbor, dood I met last night, maintenance man, fedex dood, fuckstick in a closet or any of that crazy bs. I do give a good chunk of change to sitters but never more than $200/wk. I have student loans I'm paying off so I can get back into nursing school and finish the last year of my bachelor's in nursing. I drive an economy car - not even $500/month car payment! I get my hair and nails done and spray tan but designers bags aren't my bag baby! I love boots too but the most i'd ever spend on a pair is $200 per season.
You guys who wanna buy chicks cars and throw thousands and thousands of dollars at girls who are just playing you - shit!!!! I'll play u if thats what you need to spend your money on. Wanna get married? Knock me up? Be my one and only??? Sure baby, whatever you say and then some! Now where's my money??? 
These are things I will never ever EVER understand.....but like I said, if u wanna throw your money away I can put a trash can outside my door. Lemme know 
lol
Ya I'm a "hooker, whore, provider, etc", sure, of course. But one thing I can't do is take something I didn't earn. I'm sorry you guys keep getting played by these girls. Rehke, at least you are willing to see how you are responsible for what has happened to you and aren't playing the blame game. That is something!
Like GI Joe says, "Knowing is half the battle".
Happy Monday y'all! 
Originally Posted by thathottnurse
