What if anything could provoke you into taking your own life?.

My mother commited suicide when in was 18. Shot herself in the next room from where I was ... Originally Posted by thathottnurse

How heartbreaking. My condolences.

While so few are fortunate to get a full set of fully functioning healthy loving parents, everyone deserves such. I hope you remember to properly grieve your loss.

As to the topic, it seems almost mathematical to me:

Pain (Living) > Fear (Death) = Now

My mother commited suicide when in was 18. Shot herself in the next room from where I was. In about a week it will have been 19yrs.

She has missed out on a lot of wonderful moments, but I wouldn't change what happened if I could. Its made me who I am and actually changed my life for the better. Sounds strange but in retrospect she was a very negative influence on my life as a parent. Very codependent and insecure, always some story, some excuse, some reason why everyone else had to sacrifice for her happiness. The way in which she chose to leave helped me eventually see how not to live my life so I wouldn't end up doing the same things to my child(ren).

Depression is a disease like diabetes or cardiovaacular disease brought on my chemical imbalances. It is a medical problem first and foremost and should be treated as such. Holistic practises do apply.

I think different cultures see suicide differently precisely because they are different cultures and see most everything differently: government, class-systems, religion, gender roles. Just because some cultures glorify it doesn't make it glorious. .02 Originally Posted by thathottnurse

First off, I am really sorry that you had to go through that. I can understand why some people may feel the need to end their own life ,but the desire to punish the people left behind who love you is just way too cruel. It takes a lot of strength to be able to turn things around in the way that you have.

I do agree with you, severe depression especially the type being talked about here is a disease. For the past few weeks I have been attempting to get help for my brother who was recently released from the hospital.. At first most of the doctors believed his depression was situational/ grief based, because of the loss of our mother. Finally it came out that he has been depressed for much longer, and that is when the focus was switched to various types of medication. They are beginning to show some effect, but that is the only thing that has helped him so far. I know that many of us here have talked about exercise, change of diet, meeting new people, etc. All of those things can be great for a slightly depressed person, but when you really feel like you can not make it through the day/week/month that is when those psych meds can truly be a life saver.

Oddly enough this actually may be one of D&Ts longest living threads lol. When I first started this topic it was so long ago I am pretty sure that many of my ideas on the subject have changed with experience, and time. I know its not a fun topic, but I will always admire the people who are brave enough to put themselves out there, and talk about it on a personal level. I believe it helps others. I know that the post above has helped me to see things more clearly over the last couple of days.

Thank you.

It has been almost 20 years and I did take the time to properly grieve afterwards so Ty JY for your concern. I spent a lot of time by myself, working my rw job back then, studying, leisure reading and listening to hendrix and the doors and skynard and anything that could somehow put whatever I was feeling into words or some kind of passion that matched the physical pain I felt inside from the loss. I learned a lot about myself amd the world around me. Everything had so much more value and meaning. I understood how fragile our time with others is. I would get angry inside when I heard my friends talk shit about their mom. I would feel jealous at times too. But the most important thing to me was making sense of it so I could survive it and let it better me instead of worsen me.

I played the events out in my head over and over and over again so nothing could sneak up in my mind and turn me into a puddle of terrified mess at the wrong time. I could not sit thru a fourth of july event for a few years. I would travel up to the mountains and drive the small roads with my stereo turned up because the first july 4th after she died the popping of fireworks made me curl up in a ball and shake for hours. I thought that would me the worst thing I would ever have to experience or get over in my life and that if I could make the best from that then I could make the best from anything. And i did. i made a great life for myself. I changed who I was and what direction i was heading. I made a stable and functional life. I worked hard to be a well-balanced and pragmatic person who could adapt and survive whatever life had in store...or so I thought. Unfortunately "the worst" didn't actually happen until 15yrs later which threw everything i thought I had learned from my mom's suicide into the air, but that is another story...

Shortly after my mom died, someone gave me some very harsh, but very sound advice. They said, "******, no one is going to care what happened to you in ten years. The only thing anyone will care about is what you did with it". I was so angry hearing that at first. I thought it was the most insensitive thing someone could have said to me. I was wrong. It was the most valuable thing anyone has ever said to me. Hands down.

Some people on this board like to joke about people being thinned or thick skinned, lately. Frankly, I haven't met too many people with thicker skin than myself. Of course I would never assume that of anyone but from talking to others over the past 15+ years its been pretty clear to me that the majority of people are just spoiled and the people who have really suffered in life wouldn't give you the courtesy of knowing - unless of course you asked, which you did, which is why I'm babbling on about my experience that I'm sure a wonderful group of people on this board are now going to sit back and make fun of because it makes them feel better.

Hey, whatever helps you make it thru the day.

I'm okay with the idea of assisted suicide like how Dr. Kavorkian was doing. When there is not hope for a persons life then if they are of sound enough mind I think they should be able to make that decision. It not only takes away their agony but it also takes aware the burden of family takes on a lot of times. And though love our family and will put ourselves through what necessary it does have a strain on ones life. Especially if your married with children, working a full time job and what other thinks you need to provide for your family. it may sound a bit selfish but its true