But I really like your comment about goals.
I hear a lot about goals from girls. They "want" to do this or that or whatever. And I think you have to ask if that's what you want to do, then why are you not doing it???
When I was finishing up HS, I wanted a career in nursing. I got my LPN nine months after HS graduation. I wanted to work ICU. 3 Months after passing my boards and working in Med/Surg I landed a position in an ICU. Somewhere around 19-20 I had a patient recognize my voice and tell me that it was my efforts that gave him something to hang on to that saved his life.
You want to talk to me about what you want to do? I know how to do what I want. I've got a whole 40+ years of doing amazing things. Above is just one example.
In life, people do what they want to do. If you want to know what a person really wants in life, watch what they do. Period. There is no better indicator.
So I'll go so far as to help a girl define a plan, and I'll let her know how I can help with that plan. But then it's time to step back a little and see if she runs with it or just keeps on doing whatever it is she wants to do.
Keep in mind that there are just plain a class of women out there who are extremely good at telling you what you want to hear. I think a decent working idea of what Borderline Personality and Narcissistic disorders are helps in recognizing this as well.
Generally, the underlying psychological pathology is exacerbated by substance abuse.
Or, just watch for what they do not do.
Thanks for bringing something into sharp focus for me. I fall into the same category, except for me it's "this stupid idea that you can help a pretty young woman achieve her goals or simply make it day-to-day, by doing something other than just paying her to have sex with you, and get some value in return."
"Value" is a relative term. It doesn't mean freebies, though a guy would be a fool to turn down that type of value. But it might mean a better, more intimate P4P experience. It might be going to a movie, putting your arm around her, and snuggling while you smell her clean hair. It might be buying her lunch and just enjoying conversation about anything besides what brought you together. Or it might be simply relearning the joy you get from helping others. Originally Posted by Sir Lancehernot