Susan: A real woman could stop you from drinking.
Arthur: It'd have to be a real BIG woman.
Hobson: Thank you for a memorable afternoon, usually one must go to a bowling alley to meet a woman of your stature.
Arthur: I race cars, play tennis, and fondle women, BUT! I have weekends off, and I am my own boss
Arthur: It's terribly small, tiny little country. Rhode Island could beat the crap out of it in a war. THAT'S how small it is. They recently had the whole country carpeted. This is *not* a big place
Arthur: [
soliciting a prostitute] What I had in mind was spending the night with a stranger who loves me.
Gloria: Gonna cost you a hundred bucks.
Arthur: Oh, yeah? What time do you get off?
Arthur: You're a hooker? Jesus, I forgot! I just thought I was doing GREAT with you!