Engaged Hobbyist - His fiance found out!

1st rule of right and wrong: Never argue over who's right and who's wrong.
2nd rule of right vs wrong: Go back to rule number one.

If you continue trying to reason with a fool, you soon become the fool.

It appears that I am in the minority when it comes to adding a bit of humanity to my associations. I guess I came to the wrong place. It was suggested that I come here by a provider. This thread has been very illuminating. I'll likely not be seeing many people here if this is the pervading attitude. Sex is fine but temporary, True friendship is golden and lasts a lifetime.

I remain a good friend to a provider that I was seeing in England over 6 years ago. I used to live there and we saw each other for nearly 2 years. The girl was 20 years old when we met and it was a near instant connection. We simply liked each other. We still call and speak to each other on occasions. I will see her again next year when I go to London for the summer Olympics. Yes we became good friends, it does happen. This is what shapes my attitude. There's a gem of a woman out there that I would like to meet who is sexually liberated and is not afraid to show who she really is. She might even be here. All of these lies, pretension and outings sound like teenage angst. Frankly, I use my real name, my real status and state my real intentions. My wife knows I see other people because I told her.

NegroDeSangue may be my pseudonym here, the provider that I deal with know me as Jonathan. The pseudonym is more informative and less vain. There's my truth of method.

Very admirable!

We can agree to disagree. I also never said we had no responsibility.

Any of you that think Im a "hooktard" dont have to see me so you dont have to worry about me "outing" you.

Too bad.. my itty bittys need more attention and I like to share my pie.

I didn't read how he outed her. I didn't say he wasn't stupid for giving all that info to her. Your just saying that because he sees a hooker he should accept all consequences and say there is no responsibilty for the hooker to be quiet at all. After all he is doing something wrong to begin with. That kind of thinking is just one arguement from an outing. It's probably the same kind of thinking she had. Fuck him! He should know better than to trust me. You are right in that he is a dumb ass but your explanation doesn't put you very far from her. If I think I can't trust you with something as simple as discretion then in my mind your not worth seeing. Originally Posted by burkalini

LynnT~
I am new to eccie.I truly considered being a provider. In the end I realized it was not for me right now. I came on today to disable my account. I took one last look around and saw this thread. I AGREE with you 100%.
Discretion is mandatory in this business. NO QUESTION. If you read her post.....
she wrote.....
For some of you to better understand, the conversation went like this:

Fiance: So are you seeing anybody at the moment?
Me: Yes, I'm seeing (insert name here).
Fiance: Where is he from?
Me: ("Your Town")
Fiance: Really? What does he do.
Me: He works for this company.
Fiance: What does he look like?

....And then from there she knew exactly who I was talking about. I had no knowledge that this woman, was HIS finance! (What is the chance of that happening in Real life? 1/1000?). But his finance was a well known in the area for hair, and I happen to come to her to get my hair done.

It would be absolutely different if I knew that this woman WAS his finance firsthand (Then I would've kept my mouth closed shut).
Yes she was wrong...she broke the cardinal rule...Do not become attached to your clients. Can it happen yes we are human...we have emotion! She was getting her hair done and like any other girl she started talking about ( when asked) about a guy she thought she had a future with) WRONG? absolutely... I believe there was more to the story...was she naivete? Did he tell her maybe we could have a relation ship outside of this or maybe he even let her believe he wanted to SAVE her....like that's never happened before If he misled her in that way HE gets what he deserves also. Like you said...".If you put yourself into a situation to get F-ed well then don’t be surprised when it happens."
The true MAN will be the one that says......and I DO know a man that would defiantly say this...." Its as much my fault as hers...I was the dumb ass that put myself in this situation! I made the first phone call!"
Men are not partially to blame BS! You read on here how only a few select friends know that some of the men "hobby" Do they share details...probably..like.".She has this hot little birthmark shaped like a heart on her neck that gets bright red when she laughs or cums...." Really? the friend says....a female coworker has the same thing!!!! " Can mistakes happen to everyone? Hell yes!
These men are in an uproar because the light bulb went on when they realized how easy they could be outed....now they feel threatened and are taking it out on this girl and on this thread. AGAIN...was she wrong YES!!!!!
Was he also to blame YES!
One of the other things I could not believe was some of the Hobbyists and providers views on another thread concerning Herpes 1 and 2. I posted this because a lot of people responded in a way that pretty much said they knew nothing about STIs. I wrote:
This took one minute to find on Google. Thanks to Planned Parenthood.
First and most important....When you ask for an STD/STI test you have to ask the doctor for the herpes 1 and 2 test. They are NOT included in standard STD/STI testing. They are expensive!
Herpes is a very common infection. It is caused by two different but closely related viruses. The viruses are herpes simplex virus type 1 (HSV-1) and herpes simplex virus type 2 (HSV-2). Both are easy to catch. They remain in the body for life and can produce symptoms that come and go.
Both forms of herpes can infect the oral area, the genital area, or both. When the infection is on or near the mouth, it is called oral herpes. Oral herpes is caused most often by HSV-1. When a herpes infection is on or near the sex organs, it is called genital herpes. Genital herpes is caused most often by HSV-2. Up to 8 out of 10 American adults have oral herpes. And about 1 out of 4 American adults have genital herpes. Millions of people do not know they have herpes because they never had, or noticed, the herpes symptoms.

Herpes is spread by touching, kissing, and sexual contact, including vaginal, anal, and oral sex. It can be passed from one partner to another and from one part of the body to another. Brief skin-to-skin contact is all that's needed to pass the virus. From thigh to thigh is very common!!!! Because herpes may have no symptoms for years, sometimes it is very difficult to know who passed it to whom.
Although it is rare, genital herpes can also be spread from a pregnant woman to her baby during vaginal birth.
Herpes is most contagious when sores are open, moist, or leaking fluid — until the scabs heal and fall off. But herpes can also be spread when no symptoms are present — most people get genital herpes from people with no symptoms. And most people with oral herpes were infected as children.
The lining of the mouth, vagina, penis, anus, and eyes can become infected with herpes easily. Skin can be infected if it is cut,(razor burn) chafed, or burned, or has a rash or Bite your lip, bleeding gums and other sores.
Its really scary that people are not informed about this.
I didn’t intend to write so much. But I just wanted to tell you publicly that I admire you very much that you were fair , honest and said what needed to be said. It takes balls to say the truth. Some here defiantly don’t have any!. I admire your persona....what you do and how you do it! Dont respond to these morons! My only wish was that I got the chance to meet you!

Dam....I forgot....the whole "hooktard" thing??????

Ignore the "wittledicktards" !

I think you should start a different thread on STD's cause this will likely turn into a "oh wow do he/she had herpes" now lol....


Ya know I know for a fact that quite a few ladies do not want any personal info on them shared with anyone. I mean noone. The reason none of us providers and hobbyists alike don't want any info shared with others is because you could so easily be talking to someone we know. Which is what happened here.

She played with fire by starting the thread, now she getting burned....

I agree.EA..But as they say shit happens....If 2 consenting adults agree to play....Then both are responsible for the outcome!

I am not going to be on eccie. So feel free to repost....The STI paragraph! People just dont understand. You can have it and not know. Some have had it for 10 years and passed it unknowingly to family. Transfer it by kissing your kid. Explain that one when the doctor requires you then to have a blood test cause it spread to your childs eye and brain....It has happened....Just get info people.

BYE!

I think you should start a different thread on STD's cause this will likely turn into a "oh wow do he/she had herpes" now lol....


Ya know I know for a fact that quite a few ladies do not want any personal info on them shared with anyone. I mean noone. The reason none of us providers and hobbyists alike don't want any info shared with others is because you could so easily be talking to someone we know. Which is what happened here.

She played with fire by starting the thread, now she getting burned.... Originally Posted by Eccie Addict

why why why why why???? Aren't there enough threads here about STDs and BBFS??? We don't need anymore threads about STDs. Ok Ok chica -- please create an STD superthread *sigh*. Oh I think we already have one.

LOL Naomi hey I agree, I just don't get the huge interjection here

Wow. Momentary weirdness

Yes sir, talk about a hijack lol

The main jest of this thread's response to the OP is she violated the basic tenants of the Hobby. That means that she should not enjoy the priviledges of being a part of the ECCIE community, part of which is having Verified Provider Status.

She can continue Her career in other venues. I do hope that the owners of this Web Site do make an effort to warn other like Boards of her transgression, and her inability to take it seriously.

RELATIONSHIP CONSULTANT is beneath her picture... Seriously. What does that mean exactly for her? She is sitting around with the other woman telling her how WRONG he is.. by the way, said the consultant- I am a "HO" and thats how I met your guy and going to break up your engagement.. ha ha ha ha... I will be here for you girlfriend even thou I am a HO and I will still fuck all kind of men. Oh, you don't want to be my friend after I told you the truth? but, but...he is a dawg.
I am a marriage wrecker.. what?

I agree.EA..But as they say shit happens....If 2 consenting adults agree to play....Then both are responsible for the outcome! Originally Posted by moncoeur921

Wrong.

If you do something risky and it backfires, you don't deserve sympathy, it was your choice. If you do something risky and someone malicously ensures it backfires, you deserve sympathy.

This isn't a situation of "opps, left my burn phone out and my wife found it and tracked my calls." This is far more nefarious. People that keep treating this situation like the OP made a human mistake scare the shit outta me. She went to her client's financee and outed the guy!!! How do you rationalize defending her? And I emphasize, no one has presented a reasonable argument for defending her... the only defense I've seen is the "guy should have known better" and "he took a risk by see a hooker" (which is true), but that has ZERO to do with the OP's actions.

I'm not trying to defend the client. He got burned. He took a risk and lost. It's life. The OP is a different issue: as far as I'm concerned, she should be crucified.

After reading Alluring's original post I cannot help but wonder why a threesome did not occur.