Stupid Jokes Thread

Q: What’s the difference between a bottle of Jack Daniels and a lady's G-Spot?

A: A man will actually SEARCH for a bottle of Jack Daniels.

Why do the Scottish wear kilts? Because a sheep can hear a zipper from like a mile away.

What's the difference between the Chinese acrobats and the Dallas Cowboys Cheerleaders? One has a cunning display of stunts...

What did one leg of a teenage boy tell the other leg?

"Hey look - Shorty's growing a beard!"

I had a friend confide in me one night about his "first time"

He said it was in high school, and that he purposely went and found one o the girls that rode the "short bus".

I asked him WTF? A girl from the short bus?

He said he wanted his first time to be special........

Man: "I love you so much, I could never live without you."

Woman: "Is that you or the whiskey talking?"

Man: "It's me talking to the whiskey."

They were able to cross a donkey with an onion.

Not sure what to call it, but it is a piece of ass that will bring a tear to your eye...

A patient sitting in the OB/GYN clinic suddenly begins to shout. "WOULDN'T, COULDN'T, SHOULDN'T, CAN'T, WON'T!"

The doctor comes out into the waiting room where she is screaming and says, "Don't worry folks, it is only contractions."

A BP girl just told me she'd do anything for $50.


Guess who just got their truck detailed?

How do you wake up Lady GaGa?

Pokerface!

How do you wake up Lady GaGa?

Pokerface! Originally Posted by thewood85

Tried to come up with a joke about Miley Cyrus...

But it wasn't twerking!

whats the difference between jam and jelly?
i cant "jelly" my dick up your ass !!

So, I asked my night shift nurse last night, "Do you know how to tell the difference between an oral thermometer and a rectal thermometer?"

She thought about it a minute while recording my vitals......"uh No" she answered.

"Taste", I replied.

if she cant tell the difference.....
ATM, on the menu !!!!!!!!!!!!!