EMOTIONAL VAMPIRES

http://www.azcentral.com/families/ar...ON.html?&wired


After 40, it's wives who divorce the husbands


By CHAKA FERGUSON Associated Press
Associated Press
May. 26, 2004 08:25 PM

NEW YORK - Two-thirds of divorces after age 40 are initiated by wives, debunking the myth of an older man divorcing his wife for a younger woman, a new survey shows. Originally Posted by WTF

men tend to avoid initiating divorces because they want to avoid or delay the paying....also, a lot of men believe in "ladies first" and will do things to make the wife file.....I believe it's probably 50/50 when it comes to who initially wants the divorce.........
I have dated a man that was 30 years older than me when i was 18 and now i really really wonder what it is that HE got out of the relationship :-). Originally Posted by ninasastri
I'm going to take a wild guess: "Hot sex"?
Naomi4u's Avatar
men tend to avoid initiating divorces because they want to avoid or delay the paying....also, a lot of men believe in "ladies first" and will do things to make the wife file.....I believe it's probably 50/50 when it comes to who initially wants the divorce......... Originally Posted by Marshall
Yeah it's cheaper to keep her but I don't get why one would rather stay in such relationship and be miserable for the rest of their lives. I rather be broke and happy than financially secure and miserable.
WTF's Avatar
  • WTF
  • 05-18-2011, 12:52 PM
I'm going to take a wild guess: "Hot sex"? Originally Posted by pjorourke
WTF's Avatar
  • WTF
  • 05-18-2011, 12:57 PM
Yeah it's cheaper to keep her but I don't get why one would rather stay in such relationship and be miserable for the rest of their lives. I rather be broke and happy than financially secure and miserable. Originally Posted by Naomi4u

Things are rarely this simple. Oh and btw....not many folks are hungry, cold, hopeless and happy. But it does sound good. Kinda like fighting for country until the shit hits the fan you figure out you are really fighting to stay the fuc alive.
I'm going to take a wild guess: "Hot sex"? Originally Posted by pjorourke
Ummm...post #195 already answered this question for Nina, and with a more thorough explanation.....

You're assuming a lot if you think people read your posts.
I provided two links and earlier a book. The Daily Mail just repeated the latest official statistics. But you can believe what you want. I am not trying to change your beliefs but facts are facts. Is it a Rag? I will take your word for it. Are they correct stats? You be the judge.

The divorce rate has risen by nine per cent in four years, according to the latest official statistics. But the figures also reveal that couples married for more than 30 years are now twice as likely to divorce as they were ten years ago.

Read more: http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/arti...#ixzz1MiEaEzn2 Originally Posted by WTF
Calm yourself, it was a bit of ribbing.
Yes, it's a rag, it's a tabloid...but the topic was something of interest for sure.
Not sure why you posted another link to the DM...but never mind.
I think the moment has passed.

C
I'm going to take a wild guess: "Hot sex"? Originally Posted by pjorourke
maybe....
But i am way hotter and sexier now :-). so its not really a part of the explanation. I think its the flexibility of the youth. and my father complex and him taking care of me. He gave me the support i never had in my childhood. And i shaped my life after his demands. That is something now as an "older " lady i would never do for a man. But with 18 or such you don`t care.

Besides he took care of me really much. and we are great friends now.
Originally Posted by Marshall
gosh.
a) my "income" does not depend on this job. ok? so stop overstepping boundaries here. don`t constantly talk about things you have no clue about. That is annoying.

b) what i meant to say is that women ALSO stray. Just because they don`t buy escorts or rarely do so, does not mean only men stray. got it?

read sperm wars its an interesting book. biological as you like it, but interpreted diffferently than you would.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sperm_Wars
Yeah it's cheaper to keep her but I don't get why one would rather stay in such relationship and be miserable for the rest of their lives. I rather be broke and happy than financially secure and miserable. Originally Posted by Naomi4u
after having the questionable pleasure of being first hand exposed to such a disastrous marriage that nevertheless lasts and lasts and will always lasts concerning all these facts, i`d say its simple:

some people are rather financially secure than happy. Plus , some are terribly afraid of being alone.

It comes with age. And if you are used to a certain lifestyle being a wife of a rich man who takes care of you, its hard to step down.
People are more flexible when they are younger.

His wife kept telling me (and others) how much easier and better i have it in my life and how hard she has it (btw: she got a family house and a great inhgeritage and would be settled financially with a divorce - versus me : i get no inheritage, have no house, had to work all my life with the expectation of creating income and not just because its "fun" ...) so its all a matter of definition. She also frequently explained on how she "needs her husband" because she is old. MHM, but .. also, i was the "whore" in all that drama, but i never charged her husband, nor did i ever NEED anyone in my life.

If you have never been really forced to work for your life and divorce is seen as a "failure" especially for a conservative woman who has nothing else except her husband to define her self worth as a woman from, it can be a bit tricky to be 50 something and start all over again.

Its easier said than done. Its easier to stick to the convenient. Too much fuzz. People are convenient, don`t underestimate that. And there are a lot of women out there totally willing to support a married man in need (for free or for money). Two months after we broke up, he had the next secret lover , same drama, same story. Just in THAT case, it was ME who told his wife :-)))) as a revenge because she thought without me her husband would be a tame dog and never do things like that, and i am the bad bad bad evil influence in his life and brainwashed her poor innocent husband :-)))) (lol)

I explained to her that escorts usually operate like that: calling innocent husbands out of the blue and convincing them to use their services :-). and then making them call them all over again and initiating a relationship and keeping it that way. (lawls)

for some "happiness" is not the ultimate goal in life.
And some people are incapable of having empathy and seing people as something else than just tools for their convenience. That is the most disturbing of some people`s marriages i have to say. The total lack of empathy and the ability to be able to do something so absolutely cruel to your partner and then .... turn around and do it again without thinking twice.
Marcus Aurelius's Avatar
You have shared much Nina. Thank you. I would hope that you take the time to copy what you have written here.
Your memory will not suffice btw.

25 years from now read them again.
Unless you are bitter like ***, or hurt like ** you will be in a position to look back and......examine. None of us can.
25 years from now read them again.
Unless you are bitter like ***, or hurt like ** you will be in a position to look back and......examine. None of us can. Originally Posted by Marcus Aurelius
I have been both hurt and bitter to the extremes and i have examined so i could actually trust again. I don`t need 25 years to realize mistakes i made. Unlike some people i am at least capable of realizing them. Some people just move on and do the same shit all over again just to different people involved without even thinking twice. And those usually are not the ones who take time to think about their actions and reflect them. Because they are so selfish that they lack empathy for anything else except their own hedonistic pleasure zone.
Marcus Aurelius's Avatar
This is why I could never be an ambassador....

I did not mean to imply (realize mistakes you have made.)

Not at all.

Things that make perfect sense now may change. May not.
But I'm sure you would enjoy the read.
men tend to avoid initiating divorces because they want to avoid or delay the paying....also, a lot of men believe in "ladies first" and will do things to make the wife file.....I believe it's probably 50/50 when it comes to who initially wants the divorce......... Originally Posted by Marshall
that might be true if you consider passive aggressiveness as initiation of a divorce. I also do think that patriarchy makes it a lot easier for men to "survive" in enviroments (emotional ones) that are not as satisfactory as they might like them to have because they have a variety of options to choose from so they can maintain the status quo. Escorts are one of them.

For women there are not so many options available to "compensate" - so to speak - emotional lacks. They feel unsatisfied to an extremer extent and then go and file for divorce after they see its not moving anywhere.

Delaying the paying is only true if the man is the sole income source. In some instable marriages this is not the case , so the financial decisions do not play a significatn role. In fact, i know some marriages where the wife earns significantly more than the husband does. So you could say the husbands stick because of the finances.