Does bottoming = weakness in your eyes?

And in response to the comment above me, What did this topic have to do with being Gay or Bi? Originally Posted by Ms. Athena
Haha. . .not so much about gay but about definitions. The gay reference was just one example. Don't think too much about it. I'll give you some more examples.

A can of Pepsi Cola is not a Coke. It's a Pepsi.
Latex isn't leather. It's latex.

Topping or bottoming, Dom or sub, Domme or sub, all good and certainly no rules in mutually enjoyable endeavors. But a duck is a duck and someone who enjoys both rules is a switch.

Make sense now?
Ms. Athena's Avatar
I agree, As I came into the BDSM world I wanted to try it all. How did I know if I liked/disliked something till I tried it. So I pick out a trusted skilled Dom and allow him to play me, showing me how it felt to be on the other side.......I realized right away I had not a sub bone in my body, but that I didnt have to have control at all times. I still go to this trusted Dom when I want to learn a new skill and allow him to play me, as he does this with total respect and as a learning technique for me. In return I play him in a fashion he would never be able to do at a party or gathering. He trust me to keep his "sub" needs private, as he has said it would cost him his standing in the community as he has seen it cost others. We all have our own needs, and "private" areas of our lives. I try really hard not to judge others as I dont care to be judged.....These are just my feelings on my limited voyage in the life style...........
houston_switch's Avatar
I have read in many places... before you can be the best Top/Dom, you should have spent time as a bottom/sub...

I switch and love it, most times I enjoying giving up the power, but sometimes I like being able to care for the partner and enjoy being in control.

h_s
You can only speak personally to that.
There are no set "RULES" in the BDSM community.

I get lots of DOM men wanting to come to me for strap-on.
Hypocrite?...maybe.
Switch?...absolutely. Originally Posted by *GoddessDallas*

I'm dominant as Hell in the business world but find it stimulating when I can surrender my regular role and adopt the role of the submissive. It doesn't always involve being a Bottom but, if I've adopted the submissive role, it's really ot my choice and THAT's part of the excitement. If one session I find my hands suspended from an eyehook in the ceiling while I'm milked, smacked or dressed to my Mistress' satisfaction then that's part of the fun. If she suddenly appears with a strapon bobbing about and orders me to the bed that's cool too. It's a mindset which both parties much be willing to accept if both are to achieve mutual sexual satisfaction.
Ms. Athena's Avatar
Most that I have found that enjoy the more sub role in the Bedroom , lead a totally Dom role in RL........If they have to ALWAYS be in charge and control in RL, what better way to relax and let go then to allow Mistress to take total control in the playroom. They are also able to release any guilt with certain areas of play, as Ma'am commanded them to do it, they werent doing it on their own...............
Shackle's Avatar
No I don't think that bottoming is a sign of weakness. It is just a different experience.
joe bloe's Avatar
No, but I have heard that jacking off can make you go blind.
I tried topping from the bottom one time.......got in a
heap of trouble!
LatexLover's Avatar
I think bottoms and Submissives are the ones with the most strength. One must have great will and courage to relinquish control to another. It is the bottom that chooses to do this and has the right and ability to participate or not. Jmho
MMmm I sure love when you relinquish control! Talking like that gets me sooo hot!
Sad to say but in the BDSM community if a Dom/Top switches and plays as a Sub/Bottom then he will loose his standing. Originally Posted by Ms. Athena
This mindset causes me to go in a berserker rage and is one reason I've outright left 'the scene' and hunted for complimentary-minded folks out in the wild vanilla world.

For self-described 'sexually open' people, I've never seen a bigger collection of myopic, cliquish sexual bigots. And that includes the few times I've been to a house of worship for a wedding or a funeral.
Ms. Athena's Avatar
In ANY group you will find those that choose to judge others....for what ever reason. By getting upset, you do nothing to change or educate those that are narrow minded, but reinforce their negative thinking and give them more fuel for the fire. I do not agree with the mind set of many in the BDSM world. that is the MAIN reason I am here on these boards instead of a FemDom board. I choose to embrace my sexuality and sensual nature and combine that with my desires as a Mistress to give great pleasure. THIS was frowned on by "other" Pros and I was told I need to to conform to their guidelines, thus I chose to leave and follow my own path.