i have feared death three times. not going in details about it. its very personal. i feel i have to tell so much about me when i talk about that things. But one time of these three it was not my death it was watching my sister almost die. That made me so protective about my sister that whenever she has pain its more painful for me now than my own pain. One of the things that i am most devoted about in my life is keeping my sister happy. And being there for her. Originally Posted by ninasastriThat is very powerful. Thank you for sharing. I understand what you say.
I know exactly how that feels.....don`t really want to think about it. I have two cats. One of them died in 2008 but i still refer to having 2 cats its strange.. .....mini nervous breakdowns....i know èm all too well. Originally Posted by ninasastri
I am sorry about your cat.It is sad because we want them to live for so much longer than they are able to.It is interesting because while I think my endorphins have helped in both situations. When it has been my own life at risk I have always been able to find the high in it. When it is a loved one at risk you just feel helpless over it.The endorphins numb, but no high just exhaustion after. Originally Posted by Beckytrue too, i had the same feeling when my cat had cancer... The shock is so exhausting and numbing and crippling your vision at the same time. I had the cat since i was 8 years old and even though he was 15 years, i did not realize that eventually he has to go anyway and he is old for a cat. Plus, i felt that if he dies, i will drop dead too. I don`t know why. It was just such an overwhelming feeling. I did not feel any endorphins rush when he was sick. It was just so exhausting and numbing. I did not want to feel anything anymore when he was dead. You never know if you did everything right, if it was ok how i cared for him in the end, if i could or should have done something different. At some point i just wanted to put everything far away from me and not feel anything anymore.
I admit I like it.
I race cars too now that I think about it. I wonder if that is because I have a need to chase the dragon. Let's see. Great sex. Awesome sex. I'm tired, sore sex. Hmmm. A pattern here I think. Originally Posted by Marcus Aurelius