Deal Killer

It looks to me that you're specifically asking if she would say no if the gent had a reputation for having a violent hair trigger temper. I could be wrong. Originally Posted by Marcus Aurelius

No, Marcus, that's not exactly what I'm saying.

Let's say the man is a basically decent sort, but she heard, mind you, I said "she heard" some dark rumor about him.

would that be sufficient grounds for the lady to reasonably disqualify him?

No, Marcus, that's not exactly what I'm saying.

Let's say the man is a basically decent sort, but she heard, mind you, I said "she heard" some dark rumor about him.

would that be sufficient grounds for the lady to reasonably disqualify him? Originally Posted by Fast Gunn

I'll ask again... something you wish to share with the rest of the class, FG?

'Cause it ain't rocket science...

A lady may reasonably disqualify any guy for any reason she sees fit. It's a gent's fun... but it's a lady's life & livelihood. If anything about a gent sets off a lady's EWS, she's wise to heed it. Fact, rumor, intuition, whatever...

Should a gent find himself disqualified... he picks himself up... brushes himself off... and moves along. Plenty of other fish in the sea.

That's the way the game is played.

I really don't get this entire question.

Why don't you just ask.....suppose you find out he's a creep that's into weird shit or something. But, then again, most providers run into creeps that are into weird shit. Kind of a hazard of the business. Originally Posted by Mr Clever

To clarify the question.

Let's say the guy is a normal guy.

Let's say that you just heard a rumor.

What kind of rumor would be enough for you not to see him?

To clarify the question.

Let's say the guy is a normal guy.

Let's say that you just heard a rumor.

What kind of rumor would be enough for you not to see him?
Originally Posted by Fast Gunn

Thanks for clarifying. That was a highly confusing question at the beginning, and I think the poll results may not be that meaningful, as the choices don't really correspond to the actual question you were asking... but anyhow...

With all rumors, I consider the source and balance it against all other sources.

So let's say a gent comes to me and gives me 3 good references from respected providers I know and trust who all say he's totally safe and just an all around gentleman. And meanwhile crazyho_xyz who is known for being a drama mama and just got a negative review from said gent posts an alert about how he short changed her and tried BBFS. Well, who am I gonna believe?

I would be willing to see that gent, but might take extra precautions, such as counting the donation upfront, and being VERY careful to watch for signs of a possible BBFS attempt, but on balance, I'd see him.

I look at each rumor on a case by case basis and judge to the best of my ability based on all the relevant facts.

Okay, I think that fairly well sums it up for me.

It looks like right before a date, men on walking on tender ground.

Any rumor, any bit of gossip that you hear, say about an hour before lift-off, will be enough for to at least put him off a little further based strictly on suspicion?

It' seems so unfair.

If the guy shows up at your door wearing a mismatched pair of socks, for example, would that be sufficient grounds for you to cancel the date?

I think somethings even as trivial as that have broken up a lot of great dates that were going to happen, but didn't because of some rumor you heard?

It is VERY unfair to BOTH parties. Ladies, nobody wins!

Okay, I think that fairly well sums it up for me.

It looks like right before a date, men on walking on tender ground.

Any rumor, any bit of gossip that you hear, say about an hour before lift-off, will be enough for to at least put him off a little further based strictly on suspicion?

It' seems so unfair.

If the guy shows up at your door wearing a mismatched pair of socks, for example, would that be sufficient grounds for you to cancel the date?

I think somethings even as trivial as that have broken up a lot of great dates that were going to happen, but didn't because of some rumor you heard?

It is VERY unfair to BOTH parties. Ladies, nobody wins! Originally Posted by Fast Gunn

It is fair to point out that this is one of the few enterprises left where you can discriminate for any reason you want. If you like the Mets and she likes the Yankees, that's a good enough reason not to see you. And it isn't like applying for a job or buying a house....there is no appeals board to complain to or lawsuit to file......

Of course if her dance card isn't full, she might even see a Mets fan

Someone once said that "All truth is coherent".

That has the solid ring of truth to it.

So how does a guy navigate such treacherous territory?

Where you make one false move and you hit a trip wire and the mission is blown.

Do he have to move like a ninja, careful of each step while he makes as he approaches his quarry, but yet appear to be very casual and very cool?

First, I'd like to make clear my stance that it is of the utmost importance that the provider feels as comfortable as possible. While I would find it dissapointing to have a date cancelled over a rumor, I'm more than willing to accept it and move on. Though I would hope that I would be given the chance to defend myself, I wouldn't really expect it. There is no way for me to really prove my veracity after all. I would also hope to be given enough time to make other arrangements, or that the provider would offer to let me keep the date with some of the menu items removed (refering to the example of the rumor of stealthy BBFS attempts.)

Hoping not to drag the thread off topic, I would like to make a point. I always find myself defending an attitude here that I just do not share. I, personally, think that anyone who seeks to participate in the actions I'm about to discuss for real (and not just in fantasy,) should be cruelly tortured for as long as they can possibly be kept alive.

That being said, from a purely psychological point of view (leaving all morality & legality out of the equation,) it is pure instinct (and completely natural,) for a man to be attracted to the youngest woman capable of concieving a child. The main drive here is not just to make babies, but to make as many babies as possible. The younger a woman is, the more children she is able to produce, and the more likely a child will be carried to term and raised to adulthood. Once a woman's courses have become steady (usually just after puberty,) her body has achieved all the physical indicators that tells a man's subconscience that she is physically ready to make a baby. At this point she is at her most (base level, instict only, this is altered by learned prefences,) attractive that she will ever be. As time goes on, this instictual only attractiveness slowly decreases until her physical attributes indicate that she is no longer capable of conception. A man who sees a 16 year old girl and feels desire, should "not" feel sick, for he isn't sick. He should control himself and move on, he should squash any fantasies that try to crop up, but he should not feel guilty for having the desire.

The only reason I'm saying anything is because I hate seeing people torture themselves because they feel things that are completely natural. I don't want to point fingers, and I don't want anyone to try to change or even stretch their personal morality choices. If someone's personal fantasies push your moral view too far, by all means don't participate. If it makes you uncomfortable, refuse. No problem. My only interest here is that the word "perverted" implies (by modern understanding,) that the activity is sick or twisted, and that only the unhealthy would be drawn to it.

Now, if a provider is short & very underendowed (ok, I'll say it, flat as a board,) and the client requested a full wax, pink frilly dress, & pigtails. At this point, you are deffinately crossing the line into an unhealthy mind. The only exception being if the client was requesting a date that is completely and 100% platonic (and there are easier, and probably cheaper, ways of fulfilling that type of fantasy.)

You know I have been in this hobby for less than 10 years and only a few times a year. So I might still be a newbie but I have never had too much an issue after getting that first elusive meeting. I realize that the ladies have to be careful for obvious reasons, so if I must do a little dance, then that is part of the deal. If for some reason the lady isn't willing to see me, then so be it. My life usually has me making last minute arrangements so you would think that I would be hitting those trip wires but I haven't. (I have had a couple massage therapists be tentative with me because I guess there is an LE in my town that could pass as my twin.)

If I were to start having problems, I would probably work really hard to meet with one of the ladies that have been around a while, because I have found that the ladies do communicate to some point. I would be on my absolute best behavior. I would leave time left so afterward, I could have a conversation with her basically to find out what is being said about me and to try to make my case gently that I am not whatever the negative things is. I might have to prove myself over several sessions as well. (The only things that I can see that would make a provider back out would be something that would make her not trust me. The only way to rebuild trust is to prove yourself trustworthy.)

Just because I am paying, doesn't change that she is a lady and should be given the respect thereof (regardless of her kink level). If a guy follows that basic tenant, I think that he shouldn't have issues.

Okay.

I'm going to go out on a limb to demonstrate the limits of what can get you disqualified with a lady.

I had a session set up with a beautiful provider once some time back.

She and I had been texting back and forth and everything appeared on track.

On my way to meet her, she suddenly went quiet on me.

I didn't yet have her exact address, only the general vicinity.

After a while she texted me back saying that she would not see me because (now, get this!) because I had used a dollar sign in my signature!

She told me that it seemed "thuggish" to her and that a CEO would never use a $ on his signature!

Such a ludicrous reason to cancel a session to me still borders on the surreal, but that is how the battleground is set up, gentleman.

Tread lightly!

You're a CEO?

After a while she texted me back saying that she would not see me because (now, get this!) because I had used a dollar sign in my signature!

She told me that it seemed "thuggish" to her and that a CEO would never use a $ on his signature! Originally Posted by Fast Gunn

I sympathize with your frustration (late cancellations are never fun for either party), but this is one of those things you have to just shrug off. Everyone has their own red flags; you happened to trigger hers. In this instance I don't think it was something you could have anticipated. Shrug it off and move on.

I have to agree that using a dollar sign in your sig is pretty cheesy, though. Not enough for me to cancel a date with someone, personally, but it is on the tacky side. Especially for an established businessman like yourself.

While I feel the example of your case was extreme,
some of us will cancel if we feel the least bit uncomfortable about the meeting.

As for hearing a "rumor" about a gentleman I was planing on meeting, it would depend upon what the rumor was, did it come from a "trusted" source, and does it seem credible.

If the last two answers are yes I would cancel.
If not, I most likely would postpone any meeting until I could validate or discredit the rumor.

Quote:
Originally Posted by loneshark
I don't know were you are going with your post . First I want to Thank all the Nice Providers who see us Gentlemen . If I was a Provider I think Deal Killers would be . Someone who smells bad, grossly overweight, Comes to an appointment Drunk. Someone who tries to get Bare service. someone who and tries to get a cheaper rate

That would eliminate about 85% of their business!

CPI...that's for sure! (lol)

A deal breaker for me doesn't even have to be some deep rooted dark secret...if I find out that his demeanor isn't that of a gentleman...or if he's some arrogant ass...it's a definite deal breaker. And, I think most of the ladies feel the same way. Word gets around very fast.

Someone once said that "All truth is coherent".

That has the solid ring of truth to it.

So how does a guy navigate such treacherous territory?

Where you make one false move and you hit a trip wire and the mission is blown.

Do he have to move like a ninja, careful of each step while he makes as he approaches his quarry, but yet appear to be very casual and very cool?
Originally Posted by Fast Gunn

There is also the saying...

You never get a second chance to make a first impression.

How to navigate such treacherous territory?

Simple. Stay out of trouble. Be a gentleman. Do not be arrogant or condescending. This is really not rocket science. Anyone with any common sense should be able to do well.

Once you screw up, you are pretty much done. This particular hobby is not all that forgiving.