Hippies

Jesus walked on the water. Chuck Norris swims through land.

Three traveling men are forced to share a bed.

The next morning, upon awakinging, the man on the left side claims, "I dreamt last night about my first girlfriend and a handjob she gave me."

The man who slept on the right side replies, "Funny, I had a dream about a handjob I got at a parlor in Florida."

The man in the middle laments, "You guys are lucky. I just dreamed I was cross-country skiing."

Staff Edit: prohibited subject, CZ

I'm not a big fan of frozen vegetables. So I don't watch the Winter Paralympics.

If I get an erection that last four hours, your mom is gonna be the one who needs medical attention.

That guy gets more box than the Memphis hub of Fed Ex.

That guy gets more play than a Shakespeare Festival in the round.

That guy gets more head than Jeffrey Dahlmer's freezer.

Just setting you up for...

I hit that 20 year old like I was Tony Stewart.

Too soon?

Keep 'em coming

I say to my mother, "Mom, how about some unconditional love?"

She says, "You'll get unconditional love when you earn it."

A blonde cop pulls a blonde lady over for speeding.

"License and registration please."

The blonde starts looking through her bag. "License...license...which one is the license?"

"Your license is about the size of a credit card and has your picture on it," the blonde cop explains.

The blonde pulls out a small rectangular mirror, sees her face, and hands it to the officer. "Here you go."

The blonde officer looks at the mirror, frowns, and hands it back to the blonde. "I'm sorry ma'am, I didn't realize you were a police officer. Have a nice day."

Why dont Barbie and Ken have any children ?


Ken cum,s in a diffrent box!!

I cut myself so badly shaving this morning my eyes almost cleared up.