Friends or not friends?

I prefer to be friends with the ladies. Only problem is, most of the ladies that I've seen seem only interested in the money. They very rarely will email or text unless its to say their back in town. Which to me means, I want to see you and get paid!! I really do like to talk and would enjoy taking them out to eat, nightclubing, or just talking over drinks, after our session. I would never ask them for a free session or for a discounted session. I would think if she did say Don't Worry About It or she gives me a 100 back then that's her own decision.

A provider is selling you a fantasy.

You may get lucky and find a provider that you are truly compatible with, but even so the relationship is still roughly 80 to 90% about the money.

My strong advice to you is to maintain your emotional distance in order to preserve your sanity.

You may be satisfied with just that one special provider, but remember that she needs many more customers like you just to stay in business.

. . . Don't every forget that, Mr. Fucking Sensitivity! Originally Posted by Fast Gunn

RIGHT ON!!! I like your post! But it is possible to have a true friendship. I mean real friendship as 'friends' like I have with one of my clients. Not as lovers, boyfriend, no jealousy, obsession, just 2 people being friends. Therefore, there won't be any insanity.

I have become friends with many of the ladies I've seen....even share facebook friendship with two. And I've had some who simply treated me like next month's rent ( those I never see again )

But, I also realize most are it the hobby to make ends meet, so I would never ask any of them for time off the clock unless they themselves want it.

It's hard for me to see someone in an intimate way without first liking them as a person. The ones I am friends with know I have their back and will support them any way I can......isn't that friendship /

I prefer to be friends with the ladies. Only problem is, most of the ladies that I've seen seem only interested in the money. They very rarely will email or text unless its to say their back in town. Which to me means, I want to see you and get paid!! I really do like to talk and would enjoy taking them out to eat, nightclubing, or just talking over drinks, after our session. I would never ask them for a free session or for a discounted session. I would think if she did say Don't Worry About It or she gives me a 100 back then that's her own decision. Originally Posted by shorty

Well, you can't expect every provider you see wanting to be friends with you. Even if I want to, I don't have time. Providers have a life too. We have family, personal relationship, some of us have other career, civilian friends, hobbies, sports, returnng calls, emails, screening, and maybe school. If we become friends with every guy, our phones, emails, texts will be bombarded with messages!! We just can't do that even if we want to.

And if we spend a lot of time for socializing off the clock with everyone, how do we make a living if all we have to sell is our time?

I see this a bit differently. I think it would be hard for me to be "friends" with a provider-- even one I've seen on more than one occasion. I just think it would complicate matters. On the other hand, I always treat providers in a friendly manner and as a gentleman. For me, I see the relationship as strictly business. I know some of the providers I have been with are wonderful people, but it just seems too weird to me to try and be real friends. I think if a client and provider get too close, you are asking for trouble. For example, the client may at some point feel the friendship entitles him to dates off the clock. In which case, he puts the provider into a difficult position. On the other hand, a provider may get too close to a client that it begins to interfere with his "regular" life. I wouldn't want to have to explain a 2 am phone call from a provider friend that needs my help as a last resort. I'm not saying there is anything wrong with friendship between a provider and a client; however, it is not for me. I came close to this situation, but I saw some warning signs and backed away.

That's a shame..I email with my BFE's at least once a week just to touch base...and the two I know are single and live alone I send them Vday cards via regular mail....

I prefer to be friends with the ladies. Only problem is, most of the ladies that I've seen seem only interested in the money. They very rarely will email or text unless its to say their back in town. Which to me means, I want to see you and get paid!! I really do like to talk and would enjoy taking them out to eat, nightclubing, or just talking over drinks, after our session. I would never ask them for a free session or for a discounted session. I would think if she did say Don't Worry About It or she gives me a 100 back then that's her own decision. Originally Posted by shorty

I have a few lady friends who are providers and we keep each other's secrets. Does it benefit me to have them as friends? Well they know me and can vouch for me with other providers, and I can ask them about another provider to see what they know.

Do they get miffed I see another lady? I don't think so since we are friends.... sex has nothing to do with friendship.

If sex does enter our friendship relations, it might add a few bumps to the friendship... would I turn it down if any of them wanted to play with me? Maybe, but my fee's are ___________ (hehehe, not really) but if she chooses to play, I should not be expected to pay.

But I would not trade their friendship in for a 1 night stand (or a weekend) friendship is more fun.

I love becoming friends with my regular clients, but really I only have time for 2 or 3 best friends every day, who I'll call every day.

Of course that group of 2 or 3 changes when people become caught up in their life or someone else just becomes a better friend to me...happens about every 3 months or so.

I have a few providers that I consider myself there friend. The thing about friends is we can only choose to be someone's friend. We can't make them be our friend. There are some that I think they are my friends and they have never given me any reason to doubt that.

The thing about some providers that you become friends with is that when so see their lives behind the curtain it can break your heart. That goes for hobbyists as well. A lot of providers are very isolated and the only people they are truly honest with are the ones they become friends with in this. When you are the only one they are willing to open up to then that is a sad thing as we should all be able to be who we are without fear of losing the ones we care about.

Friendship takes work as well....it is not something that should be taken lightly. It takes trust and a willingness to be open and considerate to build a true lasting friendship. I would prefer that my friendships be the kind that last, not the kind that flee after a couple of months.......

I totally agree with EA on building lasting friendships with select providers.

I love being friends with my clients. It's kind of a sticky path to tread though. Business first and friends second.

That is true Amusemeant. Sometimes only business for personal or safety reasons.

From reading the replies, it would seem that this issue can be very tricky both emotionally and pragmatically, so I probably will take your advice about maintaining some emotional distance. However, I will not change how I treat and interact with other people - I'll just try to maintain some perspective in so doing. It seems that being devoid of, or trying to be devoid of feelings would lessen the experience. Thanks to everyone for your input.

MFS

Still new at this...."your advice", I was referring to Fast Gunn.

Thanks again all,

KobCel

I hang out with a few clients and have become close to a couple. It is kind of nice to not have to hide this part of my life as I do with my "civilian" friends and family.

Unfortunately, a couple of times I had to set the rules and advise that because we hang out or go to dinner doesn't mean they get a free session. One of them no longer call even to hang out, so I can see he was only after a freebie.