Op, you have been fairly warned. Ask most smokers if they had the choice to never take that first cigarette a vast majority of addicted smokers would tell you don't do it. They are addicted and wish they were not. Look at the truth here from people who have no stake in whatever you do, most of us men don't care what you do, I don't care. We just say don't do it because we regret we did. We are telling you the truth. No not every woman lies on here about her age, but yes everyone lies in some manner or form and most of the lies are to themselves. I try to be as truthful as I can. The lie that I am not a John or a Trick or a Paycheck or an unhuman ATM machine. I try to be honest with myself and realize I am all those things at different times. no labels are derogatory to me unless I attach some shame or fear to them. The word whore is no different, not derogatory unless some fear or shame connected to it, and let's be honest there is shame attached to it both by the whore and the trick. I don't use that word in a derogatory sense but if you take it that way, well. Has anyone gone to Thanksgiving dinner and told their family about the woman they were with and how much they paid her? Has any lady called there mother to get advice on how to increase marketing in their business? "mom. how do I get more cocks to be inside me?" I doubt it. OP do what your going to do and I hope it is everything you want and more. I wish the same thing for everyone that smokes, I hope it has been and is everything you want.
Originally Posted by Boudin3112
We don't have to believe anything we have been told to believe, hon. Nor, should we take it upon ourselves to put it into the world for others to believe that something is, what it is not, to everyone else. While our experiences may not be good, keep in mind, that we ourselves, choose what type of experiences to have. Some choose the same again and again or until we realize it is not the experience we thought we desired. Once we have learned something does not suit us, hopefully, lesson learned and a more meaningful experience is chosen without trying to damage the good of an experience for others.
There is shame attached to that word and why it will constantly make you feel negative and shameful, so I can not figure out why you would subject yourself to it, much less everyone else here, unless you also believe misery loves company and you'd like some. Until everyone "gets it", the word will have negative connotations. It is what it is. Punish yourself if ya like...that also is an experience you can choose, or not. I suggest forgiving yourself, because it feels better, but hey...that's just me.
Not that I believe you need forgiveness, but I feel your anguish over your decisions, that you now and conveniently find, as not good for anyone.
I imagine all is hunky dory now that you no longer hobby(?) and why you spin the positive of living the ever sought after truth of what happiness is for you? Living with needs unmet, so you won't be embarrassed about having those needs and because no one else meets them? Or, something like that. Who we spend time with and why we do, should be of no concern to others. It is the "why" we have chosen as we have now. And, why our other choices, they deemed as approved, did not keep us from seeking something they judge, even as you do.
Something has got to give when we are unhappy, and leaving stones unturned because they are not on the approved list, keeps many from finding what it is, they seek.
Breathe, hon. Just breathe..... It's a start to feeling better about yourself.
BTW, I have not celebrated a traditional Thanksgiving in years as I give thanks everyday. Many have proven to me that this "holiday" is the most uncomfortable, dreaded, and even dangerous. I have no intention of participating ever again.