When a reference goes bad

I don't think so. I think they may have been good to one woman, used her as a reference, and then treated another one poorly. That's why I'm wondering if women would welcome updated feedback. Originally Posted by Lauren Summerhill

When giving references, I'll warn the lady if the gent is someone I haven't seen recently. I would surely appreciate knowing if a man has started treating women poorly so as to not give him another reference.

There is a different between not clicking and a issue of hygiene, shorting the donation by the gent, upselling by the gal, etc. So there are some things that can be passed along legitimately.

I have told people that such and such is nuttier than a fruitcake, luckily she can fuc your brains out because you'll never see her again if she doesn't! That info always seems to comeback and bite one in the ass. Ladies will make up shit about you if they fear you are not giving the two thumbs up refrences because you are hurting their business. Even if you are telling the truth. You can't win those deals.

So I just stick to what Nicole Preston posted. I'm the Dragnet of refrences, Joe Friday WTF, "Just the facts, mam''

Actually...I do not even give out refrences anymore to tell the truth. I'm like a dog with a bone!

Of the various references I have called... audible disappointment one of their favorites is making new friends to horrible recollections of their time that just did not seem possible upon meeting with the defamed suitor.....I use references as only a verification method and do not ask for personal insight.

that just did not seem possible upon meeting with the defamed suitor.....I use references as only a verification method and do not ask for personal insight. Originally Posted by Dallas Diva

It's all in the jeans gf.

I use references as only a verification method and do not ask for personal insight. Originally Posted by Dallas Diva

Did you actually see him? Check
Did he avoid doing something that creeped you out? Check
Was he prompt & paid as promised? Check
Was his hygiene acceptable? Check

I know some ladies say, "well I want to make sure there's a compatibility (or other cliche buzzword like 'click' or 'chemistry') there." That's fine. Figure that out from your correspondence with him.

Is he like "altcomedy?" Pass = No go, no appointment

Sorry I couldn't resist.

Did you actually see him? Check
Did he avoid doing something that creeped you out? Check
Was he prompt & paid as promised? Check
Was his hygiene acceptable? Check Originally Posted by atlcomedy

When giving references, I'll warn the lady if the gent is someone I haven't seen recently. I would surely appreciate knowing if a man has started treating women poorly so as to not give him another reference. Originally Posted by Elsa

I'm fine with that as a disclaimer, but in your experience does that happen all that often? That is, a good client turns into complete prick? I mean I'm sure a few guys pack on a few lbs. or turn gray overtime; but turn into unacceptable clients?

I would think in the majority of cases the opposite would be true as a guy matures as a client he gets better. He learns what to do and what not to do. If anything the disclaimer would be to say it was awhile ago and got better. As in, "I was with WTF in the early '70's. He got to my room on time, had his $30 neatly tucked in the envelope, was well groomed, although the smell of AquaVelva was a little overpowering. It just seemed like he was a little nervous like he's never done this before....but again that was nearly 40 years ago so maybe he's gotten better..."

I mean I'm sure a few guys pack on a few lbs. or turn gray overtime Originally Posted by atlcomedy

How did you see my picture?! I blurred and cropped the photo. Shocked, I tell you I'm shocked!

Did you actually see him? Check
Did he avoid doing something that creeped you out? Check
Was he prompt & paid as promised? Check
Was his hygiene acceptable? Check

I know some ladies say, "well I want to make sure there's a compatibility (or other cliche buzzword like 'click' or 'chemistry') there." That's fine. Figure that out from your correspondence with him. Originally Posted by atlcomedy

I don't even got that far (because I'm verifying for safety and legality):

Have you seen him in the last x months?
Would you see him again?
The rest is subjective and will (or will not need to be ) dealt with on arrival.

In the last several months I have had 2 gents try and give a reference from ladies they have met BUT spoken badly of. They then act all surprised that I have no interest in meeting them. Glad to say that is far and few between though.

C

I'm fine with that as a disclaimer, but in your experience does that happen all that often? That is, a good client turns into complete prick? I mean I'm sure a few guys pack on a few lbs. or turn gray overtime; but turn into unacceptable clients? Originally Posted by atlcomedy

Not often, but there are a few guys who will act nice a few times and then adopt an unacceptable behavior. When I say "unacceptable", I mean guys who turn violent, try to steal from you, things like that.

I agree with Nicole, ladies. I try to keep chemistry/personality out of a reference. The things I consider important are manners, cleanliness and a complete respect for boundaries. If I don't "click" with someone I simply don't see them again. I will still respond to a reference request made by a provider.

Those same guys call all the time and ask "why won't you see me? Is there a problem?"....well if you have to ask!! Originally Posted by Nicole Preston

I recently had a provider call me and asked the same of me.....after the third call asking the same, I had to tell her "well do you really want to know?" Didn't hear back again, risk factor I had to take. I was short in my reply but honest and direct.

I guess it happens on both sides of the game.

risk factor I had to take. Originally Posted by Woody of TX

I didn't understand the "risk factor" part?

Well there seems to be alott of people don't want to hear honest truth replies, so when they do they have a tenancy to be rebuttal and not be acceptable.

Just as an example of a conversation with a fellow provider....

"Do you know what Woody told me?, he told me that all I did was talk and talk......., he's just an ass, I can't believe he said that."

Sometimes the story or conversation seems to be changed in content by the other person.