Such a beautiful mind. I imagine you could do great things if you could get past this. Perhaps, you could speak publicly on the topic. Get people talking about it. It really does need to happen.
I'm actually infuriated by our culture that shames and demonizes negative emotions. Folks are tripping over themselves to avoid frustration, anger, sadness, hatred - anything that isn't bright and shiny. Yet, they are all completely natural and, often, reasonable responses to adversity and conflict. And it alienates those who are truly in pain. Sad people are "downers", they're "bitter" and "negative". Ain't nobody got time for that. The only time folks understand the desire to end it is when they can SEE the deterioration, like terminal cancer. In other words, if it's not painful enough for
them, if it doesn't affect
them profoundly enough, your pain isn't painful enough.
I get that no one with a soul wants to hold their loved one's hand while they end their life, under any circumstance. But I also wouldn't want anyone suffering just to spare me of my pain. Every time we read or hear about a suicide, they're alone. It just shouldn't be that way.
I'm happy to do what I can do to help you through this. I mean that. I see you making a difference for others. And that could be what gives your life meaning. Lemons/lemonade?
Free guns by mail? Whore trolls? Isn't this the weirdest place? I do not want free guns by mail or to troll. I think suicide should be something people can talk about openly. Your post reminds me of the reflexive apathy of adolescence - the need to be seen not caring. But the desperate need to to be perceived as invulnerable is itself a vulnerable state. You don't have to defend yourself here. We're just friendly people on a board casually discussing suicide.
I mean, you are insulting a guy (the guy you quoted whose intelligence you question) who is literally reaching out with compassion to the suicidal. What do you get out of that? Between being a depressed person, being a compassionate person, and being a guy who feels emotionally compelled to belittle the former two, I think the latter is by far the most pathetic and sad condition of the three. The saddest part is we can't even help you, because to help you, you'd have to be capable of letting yourself be vulnerable. It's ironic that people say things to try and sound cold and invulnerable, but it only makes them look super defensive and insecure. After all, someone who really didn't care wouldn't feel the need to go on the attack in such a petty and childish way.
It is horrifying that you think nycalcharlie2003's kindness makes him unintelligent. That means you equate everyday compassion with unintelligence. Is that why you are afraid to be emotionally open and vulnerable? You're afraid that if you don't try to act faux teenage cool someone will call you dumb? We won't. No one here is going to try to hurt your feelings. You are safe here.
Originally Posted by zacknite