should I keep my mouth shut or should I say something?

Do you have a SO/Spouse? If the shoe were on the other foot and the girl in question found out you were hobbying would you want her to tell your SO/Spouse? Or maybe you are single, I don't know, Just adding some perspective to this delicate situation. The dynamics can vary depending.

Definitely think through your decision before you decide. Make sure that you are willing to put your friendship on the line whether you choose to tell or not to tell. Tough call indeed.

To be honest I'm kinda with lucas on this one. Or else I wouldn't have made such a shitty comment on such a serious subject.

This sounds rather improbable, as Lucas observed. But, assuming for sake of amusement . . . .

Depends on 1) how good a friend he is; and 2) whether you think he'd really mind (assuming she quits when they get hitched). If you're going to be his best man, etc., -- you're that close -- you may have an obligation to tell. Otherwise, STFU.

Whether anonymous or not, you gotta tell your friend. It's the right thing to do for your friend. If you lose him? At least you did the right thing.

As a non-friend, I'd love her provider name PMd to me. Hitting it sounds especially hot for some reason.

Start getting screen captures and shit and give him a manilla envelope labeled "break glass in case of divorce"

So how do you it is your friends fiancé???

If this is a true story then you have to tell him. Or at least tell one of his close friends and put the onus on him. If its not a real story you should take a long walk off of a short plank.

Anonymous email sounds like the ticket......but its a bitch ass move. If your gonna do it.....do it fully yourself. Have a sit down.

Guys just don't concern ourselves with this. He should be smarter. I don't want to ruin a guys happiness. And usually when ladies are faced in these positions they can use their womanly charms to smooth things over.....then your fucked.

Personally myself, I don't want any of my friends to know I sometimes hobby in between relationships. Its none of their business. I wouldn't snitch on another person tied to the hobby. Period.

I've been outed before in a similar scenario. But it wasnt the provider I saw....it was her damn screener. My girlfriend at the time happened to be talking to this screener (they were old friends...but not currently) about how great a guy she found....and the screener remembered my name in an old five year email she proceeded to send to my real life girlfriend with my picture which was what I needed at that time for newbie screening. Never again.

I don't fault that screener for revealing, but that was both a clash in business and personal. They don't even talk anymore......sometimes ladies are catty and want to shit on anothers parade. Luckily I'm not married though.

Ultimately though due to my own personal beliefs......if they are gonna be married you are doing a supreme disservice to your friend if you don't reveal. But most guys won't.....she can easily smooth that shit over and u will be ostracized out of his life.

nope. The messenger gets shot. You will both as friends and they will never speak to you again.

If they aren't good people, you could make yourself a target.

Took me a bit to think of a fair response...


Granted this was not a smart question to ask on ECCIE at all... Or to a bother hobbiest/provider for that matter. As you can tell from above most h/p are extremely selfish. Even though their points may be valid...


Let me ask you, depending on the answers there is your answer:

1. Do you honestly believe he is completely ignorant to the situation?

2. Do you feel he would do the same for you?

3. Have you seen her as a hobbiest?

A. If you have then, you are screwed
AA. If you have a SO you are also screwed

B. No? Then you will be exposing to him how you found her.... If you are ok with this, go for it

4. Does any of the above really matter....
A. Yes. Then get hard proof first
B. No, then go talk to him and ask if he knows about it, proceed how you feel is right



Granted I'm only 25 but there is a cultural difference, I wouldn't want to leave a bro hanging

There are also MANY health risks that he should be aware of


Which is more important

Her secret? Or
His health?

Not sure this is actually TRUE or not but it does present a "What If" scenario.
If it was my son, I'd talk to him about it. The trick is how do I tell him I know she's a Provider. "I stumbled across this site and look what I found..."
If it was a friend, he's on his own.
If I knew the Provider and had seen her several times...I wouldn't see her anymore, lol.

Maybe he already knows and is cool with it. Some guys are with their Provider/Wives.

Keep your mouth shut

I believe in the Tooth Fairy and Santa Claus more than I believe the OP and his plight...But you guys carry on with such sage advice for him. Originally Posted by Lucas McCain

You my friend rock.

Keep your mouth shut

if you keep yours open

So I was looking at some of the review on here the other day and discovered that my one of my good friends fiancee is a provider. They are getting married next year. I honestly don't think that he knows anything?? If he knew, and continued to go out with her, then I would be totally fine with it. But i honestly don't think he has a clue. I dont know what to do. Any advice? should I just keep my mouth closed? Thats what I was planning on doing but I dont want my buddy to get hurt. Originally Posted by el_nino_1

Enjoy her while you can