Short Stories: sessions that have gone crazy...

Oh man, those were no farts! And homeboy didn't even flush! Originally Posted by Alyssa Marie

OH....EM...GEE! And he didn't take a shower (shudders). Those are probably the guys that want a prostate massage, LOL! There's no upcharge high enough.

OK here's my story, for those that read the other similar thread yes, same girl I wrote about there, I have an abundance of stories of our times together! We were in her hotel room getting after it, it was a suite with a separate bedroom that she had been living in for several weeks while her home was being remodeled. As mentioned in the other thread, she had a ex-green beret fiancée and a penchant for putting herself in situations where she might -almost- get caught by him because it increased her arousal (BUT NOT MINE). So there we are just having a great ol' time in doggie, she is holding onto two fistfuls of sheets while screaming dirty talk at me almost at the top of her lungs. Suddenly there's a loud banging on the main door to the living room. I have seriously never gotten dressed so fast in my life, if Guinness had been present with a stopwatch I am sure I would hold the record to this day. Underwear, pants shirt, shoes socks. I didn't so much put them on as fly magically into them. My fingers were a blur as they flew across the tops of my shoes somehow leaving behind loopy bows. While I'm getting dressed I hear the door opening, fuck! She goes out there and I hear a guy's voice. Double fuck! My heart was trying to work it's way up my throat and out my mouth. My mind is going through all the fight-or-flight scenarios. He's taller, but I've got the muscle. But he's got the training in killing people. But I've got... OK how about out the window. Oh wait, we're on the 7the floor. Is there space under the bed? WTF, it's got a platform under it! Bathroom? How long will I be stuck in there? Fuck it, bathroom it is. There I am in the bathroom feeling like the world's biggest ass. I saved myself the embarrassment of hiding behind the shower curtain, I decide I'll let this go down with at least some small shred of respect for myself left. She comes in, says my name, I poke my head out and she says it's her brother (I had met her brother several times before and he seemed cool with everything). WHEEEEEEEW! Holy crap was that ever crazy though.

I've got another story where I was at the same hotel with her, I was leaving the next morning and walked right past said green beret fiancée in the lobby.

Mid range hotel. Session is getting started. Loud knock with an announcement "manager!". She goes to the door, I head to the bathroom. She leaves for a few minutes. Another knock with the announcement again. I answer. She is standing with the manager and says we have to leave. Manager says he knows what is going on. Awkward elevator ride....the three of us.

My first encounter with a woman maybe 15 years ago consisted of lunch followed by an adjournment to the La Quinta on I-20 in Arlington. After we did the deed, we just laid there next to each other, comfortably. I thought that was way cool.

But when I thought I'd taken enough of her time,
she
wouldn't
wake
up
!

Not knowing what else to do, there being an unconscious naked woman on a bed in a hotel room registered to me, I called 911. It was a little awkward when I could not answer any of the paramedics' questions, and one of them picked up a wad of cash from the other bed and handed it to me, but they were cool about it. Fortunately, she had told me she was diabetic, and I conveyed that information to them. While all this was going on, her husband was calling on her cellphone every five minutes. Not being sure how much he knew, I just let it ring -- probably increasing his anxiety, but that was the lesser of two evils.

We had some good laughs about it later, but I was pretty uptight while it was all happening.

There's an injection joke in there...

Well I wont write the whole story from my phone but I had an experience early this year with a provider whose dog shat blood on the floor whip I was in K9. I look at the dog, then look at her and she just tells me to continue. Fastest nut and go ever....

I had an outcall with a very beautiful provider (A) in Dallas at a hotel. I see her a few more times. Three months later I have another outcall at the same hotel with another provider(B) because I never got any response from A to my request to meet. I am waiting on B in the lobby when I see A come thru the lobby door, totally unexpected. She recognizes me and walks over to say hi, then realizes she is meeting someone else, and I am meeting someone else. We both laugh and share a quick hug.

We both meet up with our "dates" for the evening. Both sets of "couples" are sitting literally 30 feet apart having drinks. I feel my phone vibrate.

Text from A "B is nice and pretty, but you know you would rather be with me".
Response "dude you are with is no match for me"
Text from A "Save some for me"
Response "hotel bar 10:30"
Text from A "your room at 10:15"
Response "room 21--"

She shows up at 10:15 on the nose, room not locked, walks in. And it was on. Literally fucked our way around the room that night till 2:00am. Woke up next morning to find her A still there. Had a little morning session ....

I managed to be greeted by security as I was leaving the notel. He asked who I was there to see and what room. Ummmm, "Cinnamon" or something in room 21. Oops, name did not match his list. Suspected prostitution. My response, "oh really?" Right!!! I said just let me leave, several times. Finally, he agreed, if i would also tell her to leave before the cops showed up. I did, and left in a hurry. Checked later and she did not make it, but of course they had no proof. But she did leave quickly. Needless to say, I avoided that hotel, hell even that town for awhile!! To this day, in fact. And threw those drawers away!!

small studio apartment...we're going at it full steam in missionary, then we hear a key opening the front door. No knock, no bell, just open and enter. She jumps up, knocks me out of the bed, grabs her robe and starts running for the door. Too late, the dude is already in, I hear them talking. I get off the floor and start to get dressed in record time, cell phone falls on the floor making a loud bang, then there's silence in the other room. I'm dressed in a panic, obvious full erection, condom still on no time to worry about that.

She comes in and tells me it's the maintenance guy there to fix the garbage disposal. Probably clogged from all the used condoms? I leave and this dude is staring at me. I walk to the car, dick going soft, condom slides off and is now swimming in my shorts. Get in the car reach in and fish the slimy condom out and drop it in the door bin forgetting i put it there. Two days later at the carwash, they find it and I see one guy holding it up, showing another dude and laughing....

I was traumatized and gave up the hobby for two days. Originally Posted by Jarvis

lol...

So the gal that cut my hair invites me over to her apartment {she 'll cut my hair there.} Well we got wild and crazy,and were resting naked on the couch. so I sez "Why all the locks ?'' "Security " she said. We're fucking on the living room floor when,yep I hear the locks start clicking. The door opens only to be held by two door chains. WTF??? She whispers "husband"! I grab my clothes,run out the kitchen to balcony,{2nd floor} look over toss my stuff over and follow it down.Grabbed my stuff,ran down walkway to a breezway(bare ass naked) got dressed. Slipped back up to where my car was parked near her apartment,could hear 'em yelling at each other.
Found some one else to cut my hair.......

Hell. Years ago in Houston I lived in a high rise. Like a dope, I was lonely one weekend(my regular was out of town) and I called a service I found in the Yellow Pages. She arrives, is hot, walks to the balcony(I lived on the 23rd floor), and exclaims "Wow what a view." She is around 5'10, leans over the railing, and all I can think is "OMG, what if she falls over? " She is f'd up. I am weariing a white shirt and she says your shirt is white and so are the drapes, let me go out on the balcony again." I want to ask her to leave but I figure I just go through with it. I do and as I am DATY, she lets out the longest fart. Easy 30 seconds. Several pops. I was so glad when she left. Held hostage.

Awesome thread OP.

This thread has given me many laugh out loud moments Best ending line yet:

Found some one else to cut my hair....... Originally Posted by hoss148

LOL!!

After BCD and we are laying there talking, he dies in mid sentence. He was DOA so there was nothing they could do for him. It took 5 and half hours for the city to remove him from my apartment.

NOT fun.

I can't think of a wilder story to tell after that.

True story.

The end

She showed up at my high-rise acting like she'd been at more than one Happy Hour. I tried to cancel the session and she started to throw a fi, threatening to make a loud scene and not leave until I paid her "something" for her time & trouble. I was ready to offer her "something" but she started getting ready to puke and barely made it to the guest bathroom. I found her barely conscious with her face suspended over the puke-filled toiled bowl. I flushed out her Happy Hours, wiped her face off and called a buddy in the building. We leaned her up against a wall at the nearby Fire Department. I shoved a $20 in her bra. The building had her car towed away.

After this thread, I am convinced that some people confuse the 1 star with 5 stars!
This thread rules.

Kaylee rip to that man. What a way for him to go out, but I can see how... Life changing that would be for you.