When you wont accept a guys ref.

Any provider has every right to see whoever they want and use whatever screening methods they want. I wouldnt have believed the following had I not seen it myself. Below is from a p411 ad.

" i do not cater to clients that have oks from aa providers sorry .." Originally Posted by randall flagg

Wow now that is crazy right there.

That is similar to a male member here who will not see providers for sessions if they see AA as clients have been reviewed by known AA males.

You covered not all money is good money and if set with that approach then an honest answer back to said gent asking for another reference should be all she wrote.
I can say that from this side of the game it can suck and be a bit of a disappointment, like being caught in a bureaucratic catch 22.

I have no idea all the ins and outs that go on from your side but speaking as someone who was caught in that limbo before; I appreciated those who had a bit more flexibility in finding a solution to the problem rather than a firm no. The ones who offered up advice and suggestions were the ones I visited. The others that seemed terse with the "more experience needed" response lost something mentally to me and I never tried again even when refs were not a issue. Originally Posted by bored@home

Hey! We all start somewhere right! Glad you found a provider that got ya in!

I'd love to link an example of one of the reasons why I don't strictly rely on References ( then again, I don't just cater to Board Hobbyists, because my target market is small, I cater to different markets to round em up) , but its in the Ladies Infoshare - yet I see it all the time across the board.

Provider A Was NCNS''d and goes to the infoshare/coed and shares her experience about a hobbyiest "

"This morning I had an appointment at 10am, blalalalahhh... NCNS'd me after an 80 mile drive blaaaaahhh...

Then here comes the flood of : " Wow, he's never done that with ME" and the " ladies I'd give him the benefit of the doubt, he was great with ME" etc etc ( thank GOD for BL sites). Sounds nice, too bad I cancelled family time and drove 80 miles to get to my incall..

References alone really doesn't work for me. I don't mind putting in a bit more effort and research - whatever that'll make me feel secure. Great thread KHC.

Thanks. I appreciate it.

For the record, I did ask him for more ref's (without telling him why...again...I wasn't sure how to handle it without throwing her under the bus). He answered me back by saying he already gave me two.

At that point, I felt REAL COMFORTABLE saying good bye. LOL

*Not that this matters...well it did for me that is.
If you have lived in multiple cities both here and back in the UK then one's options are limited. P411 seems like the best way to go in my situation. Still a bit worried about privacy(security). I'd assume providers fancy getting references from other providers geographically located in their play-ground. Side-note: I think AMP visits are moot. Indy providers don't seem to give a toss about those triumphs. Right, as you were...
Cheers,
DBD

People will see who they want to see, but it shouldn't come as a surprise to anyone that their ATF is crazy.

If it does, or if they blow up on you for telling them, then it might be reason enough to consider passing on the visit LOL

If you've had such a bad experience dealing with this provider in the past and have gotten to the point that you will not even attempt contacting them, then just let the guy know. Otherwise, you can say that this is someone who has a history (at least in your experience) of not responding to reference requests in a timely manner, and that you will let him know as soon as you hear something, but that he can also provide another reference if he has one.

You definitely don't want to seem/be "catty" about it, but, understandably, you don't want someone else being unprofessional to reflect badly on you either.

Thanks. I appreciate it.

For the record, I did ask him for more ref's (without telling him why...again...I wasn't sure how to handle it without throwing her under the bus). He answered me back by saying he already gave me two.

At that point, I felt REAL COMFORTABLE saying good bye. LOL Originally Posted by Kayleehotchick

Here's an idea you might consider. If there is something lacking in a gentlemen's reference, you might give him the handles of two or three ladies whose judgement you would trust and who are newbie friendly. They would certainly appreciate it and you would be more likely to have the gentleman contact you again for a session later.

That's a thought. Thx.

*Not that this matters...well it did for me that is.
If you have lived in multiple cities both here and back in the UK then one's options are limited. P411 seems like the best way to go in my situation. Still a bit worried about privacy(security). I'd assume providers fancy getting references from other providers geographically located in their play-ground. Side-note: I think AMP visits are moot. Indy providers don't seem to give a toss about those triumphs. Right, as you were...
Cheers,
DBD Originally Posted by Don't Be Daft!

There are plenty of us who don't care where your reference is from, as long as we can verify they have a presence somewhere on the net. Some of us even belong to a forum or two from across the pond. In the information age, it isn't hard to find a lady as long as she is somewhat above the radar.

I'm one of those ladies. As long as she seems to have a good reputation and stable, I will take a ref from her no matter what city she is in.

If I KNOW for a fact she is a KNOWN drama queen and unstable, I can't trust her as a ref.

I accept pretty much all refs except BP only girls but the thing is, even when I do send out the reference requests there are just certain ladies who either aren't reference friendly or they take forever when they reply. That's why p411 is so awesome.. I usually just check for 3 recent okays and screening is out of the way.

I'm a HUGE p411 fan!

You know, when we used to peek in to the girl's locker room I looked at all of them, no matter what color they were.....

Name that movie for one free BSC reference!

Hey, Kaylee, if you quit taking refs from the BSC Deama queen providers on here you'd be down to like a half dozen. So which one's are they so we can all go see them for rapid clearance when we feel like eating your pussy till you beg us to stop?