- GP
- 10-11-2010, 08:01 PM
*COUGH* *COUGH*
- quimps
- 10-11-2010, 08:18 PM
- offshoredrilling
- 10-12-2010, 02:23 AM
I've been accused of a lot of things, but keeping things on topic without a lot of negativity is not one of 'em.Good thats out of my way. I did not want to be seen as not nice if I pointed it out. Now I just have to read all of this thread before I put my foot in mouth. much latter in the morning when I may be awake
So i think you probably meant Docdave? But thanks for thinking of me.Originally Posted by Doove
- MajorHands
- 10-12-2010, 04:15 AM
From where I sit, the existence of boards like this take hobbying to an entirely different level of experience that make it far more fulfilling than would be otherwise possible based solely on the encounters we have with providers, as delightful as those often are. Jack nailed it when he said that boards like this foster a sense of community and connectedness that offers far more positives than negatives.
As many have pointed out, the review process can be invaluable in trying to figure out who to see...just as the alert process provides the same insight on who to avoid. For me, however, the aspect of this board that elevates a "would probably enjoy seeing" to "have to see" provider is the quality of participation on this board.
It's almost impossible not to feel some level of connection with people when you get the chance to read something (or a lot of somethings) they wrote. This is not only true of providers, but also with fellow hobbyists...for me to some extent, when providers contribute and interact on the boards above and beyond posting ads, they make the transition from objectification to personification... they are no longer a collection of pictures, stats, and perceptions of others, but rather actual people with whom we on the hobby side can interact.
In a couple instances, I knew I was going to like the provider before I ever met her in person...and a couple who I decided to see based solely on the sense I got of who they were as a person through their writing on posts here...
While I understand there are bad actors in any community, I strongly urge folks on both sides of things hobbyist-provider wise to stick with it...the concept and potential for this community is very solid and has a lot more going for it that should not be forfeited because of some rough waters.
As many have pointed out, the review process can be invaluable in trying to figure out who to see...just as the alert process provides the same insight on who to avoid. For me, however, the aspect of this board that elevates a "would probably enjoy seeing" to "have to see" provider is the quality of participation on this board.
It's almost impossible not to feel some level of connection with people when you get the chance to read something (or a lot of somethings) they wrote. This is not only true of providers, but also with fellow hobbyists...for me to some extent, when providers contribute and interact on the boards above and beyond posting ads, they make the transition from objectification to personification... they are no longer a collection of pictures, stats, and perceptions of others, but rather actual people with whom we on the hobby side can interact.
In a couple instances, I knew I was going to like the provider before I ever met her in person...and a couple who I decided to see based solely on the sense I got of who they were as a person through their writing on posts here...
While I understand there are bad actors in any community, I strongly urge folks on both sides of things hobbyist-provider wise to stick with it...the concept and potential for this community is very solid and has a lot more going for it that should not be forfeited because of some rough waters.
- SweetElizabeth
- 10-12-2010, 07:02 AM
RE: "So I pose the question to all ladies and gentlemen here, lurkers and members alike, what do you want us to do to make this board operate in the manner that you want it to?"
Personally, I'd like to see the travesties replaced with asterisks.
I would like the informal attacks on groups of people addressed. (IE: terminology such as them/us being grouped/referred to as jerks/morons/etc)
Also, I would like the threads to be kept on topic.
However, I also believe in free speech. So, once again, hats off to the Mods....
If you feel a bit of pressure, my suggestion is to (simply) dial-a-lady!!
;--)
Personally, I'd like to see the travesties replaced with asterisks.
I would like the informal attacks on groups of people addressed. (IE: terminology such as them/us being grouped/referred to as jerks/morons/etc)
Also, I would like the threads to be kept on topic.
However, I also believe in free speech. So, once again, hats off to the Mods....
If you feel a bit of pressure, my suggestion is to (simply) dial-a-lady!!
;--)
- Laker
- 10-12-2010, 08:42 AM
To me this as many other discussions related to this comes back to one quote by our brother and former mod, LAP (paraphrased) "This Hobby is Supposed to be Fun!! If you are not having fun, find another hobby!"
Mods, from my POV you are doing a great job!! Thanks and if I was a voting memer I'd vote to approve your raise!!
Mods, from my POV you are doing a great job!! Thanks and if I was a voting memer I'd vote to approve your raise!!
- BrookeButtons
- 10-12-2010, 09:41 AM
OSD you would never be accused of being mean when pointing out an obvious spelling error /mix up. geese I am not that "sensitive". :P
- offshoredrilling
- 10-12-2010, 10:16 AM
Just leave it the way it is. Originally Posted by summerwaves
This board exists for one reason only; to allow clients to connect up with providers. The vast majority of those clients are lurkers. If the providers had to depend on the handful of guys that post here they would all be broke. The reasons the lurkers are here are to get useful info about the providers and to enjoy the show the posters put on. This is what traffic is all about. At the end of the day the drama and hurt feelings are irrelevant.
Want to know what you mods can do to help? As little as possible. Originally Posted by jokacz
Doc...honestly...i don't think really there is anything a mod can do..there will always be negative people out there..on this board all over..all you can do is let things run their course and let it be done..
Perhaps if some folks just "went with the flow" there wouldn't be as much hate on the boards..but as always..you will never be able to please everyone..it is what it is...
I have decided to post to only certain things..ill sit back and lurk and watch..but not comment when say..Ive had too much to drink.. not enough to drink.. or only have had just one drink..
if the post commands that I have a say..then you'll hear my point of view..till then..well..ill just be pre-screening as the posts are made....
anyways...have a great holiday folks..nita.... Originally Posted by anita germane
Different people come here with different motivations and objectives. We should welcome or at least tolerate all of them, with civility and understanding - and not negativity, sarcasm, and narrow-mindedness.
My experience might not be typical, but it could be a useful case-study. I was originally attracted to the old site because I found it to be a useful consumer guide for the local hobby scene. As someone who never have the courage to TOFTT, I have met many wonderful ladies based on what I learned from the reviews. After lurking for some time, I realized that this was more than just a review board. It was a community of people participating in an activity that is normally secretive and lonely - and looked down by the rest of society. I started posting to share the camaraderie. I have gotten to know the ladies better. I have made friends with many hobbyists even though I have not met anyone of them in person. More recently, I even started reviewing, despite some earlier reservations, partly to make me feel like a full-fledged participant. I therefore fully appreciate our mix of lurkers, non-reviewing posters, and reviewers. We should all respect each other.
We need more "nice guys (and gals)" around here - and less "wise guys". Originally Posted by jackfengshui
OSD you would never be accused of being mean when pointing out an obvious spelling error /mix up. geese I am not that "sensitive". :P Originally Posted by BrookeButtonsAnd with quotes I do not have to say a thing. Other than doove=docdave was a mix up. And a scary one, a very scary one.
- Niktu
- 10-12-2010, 11:00 AM
It's at times like these I wish my writing skills were as developed and concise as Jack's or Major Hands. I'll simply say I identify with Jack's experience of education developing into a sense of comradery.
MH is correct, a lady's participation provides a type of personalization. A personality perceived as indifferent, selfish or argumentative negates even the best physical attributes. The board would not be as useful, or half as much fun, without participation of the ladies.
Brooke, I've mulled this in my mind for awhile. I agree with your sentiment, and most of the post.
"If you don't have anything nice to say, Don't say anything at all"
In general I completely agree. Reading a thread sometimes I just "bite my tongue" and move on to the next. I think Laker reminded us of LAP's sig line "It's supposed to be fun"
Let me disagree with the 2nd rule in this sense, and I don't want to nit pick. Let's say someone has a forbidden topic situation or a dangerous situation. Obviously you want that warning known.
Or, for example lets say, as puppies are wont to do, Bella (?) chewed someone's leather shoes. Wouldn't that information would be useful for a gentlemen to discretely make sure his shoes were out of reach? Admittedly this is a poor example as I'm sure you already make sure everything is safe. But you follow the idea, maybe it's "after 2 frustrating weeks of trying to reach her I discovered _____________ (fill in the blank) works best, or I had trouble when parked in back, park in front.
As you said, we should be guided by the 1st rule. If memory serves, when I was a kid the prescription was merely follow the Golden Rule.
BTW Brooke, I used Bella only for conversation reference. I love puppies. I can't tell you how many shoes our dog chewed. One puppy even chewed a hole in my sleeve while I was petting him.
MH is correct, a lady's participation provides a type of personalization. A personality perceived as indifferent, selfish or argumentative negates even the best physical attributes. The board would not be as useful, or half as much fun, without participation of the ladies.
, I think everyone needs to go back to the two main rules we are taught, "Treat others like how we would want to be treated" and "If you don't have anything nice to say, Don't say anything at all". Originally Posted by BrookeButtons
Brooke, I've mulled this in my mind for awhile. I agree with your sentiment, and most of the post.
"If you don't have anything nice to say, Don't say anything at all"
In general I completely agree. Reading a thread sometimes I just "bite my tongue" and move on to the next. I think Laker reminded us of LAP's sig line "It's supposed to be fun"
Let me disagree with the 2nd rule in this sense, and I don't want to nit pick. Let's say someone has a forbidden topic situation or a dangerous situation. Obviously you want that warning known.
Or, for example lets say, as puppies are wont to do, Bella (?) chewed someone's leather shoes. Wouldn't that information would be useful for a gentlemen to discretely make sure his shoes were out of reach? Admittedly this is a poor example as I'm sure you already make sure everything is safe. But you follow the idea, maybe it's "after 2 frustrating weeks of trying to reach her I discovered _____________ (fill in the blank) works best, or I had trouble when parked in back, park in front.
As you said, we should be guided by the 1st rule. If memory serves, when I was a kid the prescription was merely follow the Golden Rule.
BTW Brooke, I used Bella only for conversation reference. I love puppies. I can't tell you how many shoes our dog chewed. One puppy even chewed a hole in my sleeve while I was petting him.
- Doove
- 10-12-2010, 07:10 PM
blah i sorry! i was typing so fast and wrote your name not doc... my bad and I sorryforgive me pleaseeeeee hahaha :P Originally Posted by BrookeButtons
Other than doove=docdave was a mix up. And a scary one, a very scary one. Originally Posted by offshoredrillingYou ain't whistlin' Dixie there, OSD. Heck, if i was Docdave, i know i'd have been pretty freakin' offended. Brooke, i think you owe Docdave an apology, not me.
*COUGH* *COUGH*Wha? Did GP get a 1 post dispensation or something?
- jackfengshui
- 10-12-2010, 07:15 PM
- offshoredrilling
- 10-13-2010, 02:50 AM
You ain't whistlin' Dixie there, OSD. Heck, if i was Docdave, i know i'd have been pretty freakin' offended. Brooke, i think you owe Docdave an apology, not me.Just glad I was not the one that pointed the error out.
Pumpkin don't look at the next line, its just for Doove
I was woundering how you keep us in line and on topic when your on some ignore lists. When I first saw it.
Gee I hope that is ok. I don't want to be non-nice.
- Maximum4
- 10-13-2010, 02:54 AM
Sticks and stones may break my bones, but names will never hurt me. Who really gives a turd if there are snikey comments and insults, it's not like anyone really knows anyone here right? These "hurtful" comments can't really hurt you. Keep a level head, be a good provider, be a good hobbyist, be a good person. I'm here for info and to contribute my experience and opinion from time to time. Take it or leave it. <-- that's what I do.
The only thing I want on this board is a fast link back to the upstate section after I read my messages. I hate having to go the main page and drill down again.
I know, I'm such a whiner.
Max
The only thing I want on this board is a fast link back to the upstate section after I read my messages. I hate having to go the main page and drill down again.
I know, I'm such a whiner.
Max
- offshoredrilling
- 10-13-2010, 03:05 AM
- Niktu
- 10-13-2010, 01:22 PM
Oops.
Let me make a clarification. The point of my earlier post was sometimes it's useful to nicely say something negative.
I had real instances in mind, but not wanting to rile any waters used Brooke for innocuous examples (I mean how can anyone with a soul be unhappy with a puppy). Perhaps I was being too abstract. Anyway, they had nothing to do with Brooke.
Let me make a clarification. The point of my earlier post was sometimes it's useful to nicely say something negative.
I had real instances in mind, but not wanting to rile any waters used Brooke for innocuous examples (I mean how can anyone with a soul be unhappy with a puppy). Perhaps I was being too abstract. Anyway, they had nothing to do with Brooke.