Giving out Personal info such as name of company employed by

I thought she would back off but she tried to make me feel as if it was standard practice...get this she told me she was licensed to do this. No joke that is what she said. Originally Posted by Jayhawker

It is standard practice and many ladies use it. Many Escorts are licensed, in Kansas city to be a legal escort you have to be licensed. You act like what she says is crazy when in fact your just under informed.

If a gentleman is able to provide with me at least 2 references from WELL KNOWN and currently active providers that will vouch for him, I don't even bother with asking their first name when scheduling. If they want to tell it to me, that's great, but deep down, I always assume it's not their real name, anyway. lol After all, this hobby is supposed to be about discretion and anonymity.

On the other hand, I have VERY good regular clients that not only feel comfortable enough to tell me their FULL names, but I know where they work, where they live, if they are married or not, when their kids get married, when their first (or most recent) child or grandchild is born, vacations they've gone on recently, etc...and they know about my life...because we have chosen to move our relationship from a strictly business standpoint to a true friendship.
For example: I have a fella that I've been friends with for many years, and even if I haven't seen him in 6 months to a year, he will remember my birthday, every year, without fail, and surprise me with a card, phone call, or gift! Did he tell me everything about himself on the first date? No, just his first name...(which turned out to be true, after all! lol) but over the years he's become a damn good friend whom I sometimes call just to cheer me up when I'm having a rough day because he can always make me laugh and feel better!

So, after all this rambling, I guess what I'm trying to say is, go with your gut instinct and whatever makes you feel comfortable. If it's not working for you, move on. The right provider for you is out there waiting on your call!

Xoxo,
Staci

JR - As has been discussed ad nauseam, guys have the freedom to choose who they want to see, and ladies have the freedom to choose their selection methods (if any) for who they will see. Period.

Agree, I do move on. I just keep records to cross check myself. I will not bother a lady a second time after receiving a request for personal information.

I just clicked the "Search Providers" button at the top of the page. There are currently 128 providers advertising with Kansas City as a location.

I have listing I'm my data base for many more than 128. My previous db, last used in 2008 had over 600 records for KCMO alone; but, some of the ladies are no longer active. Where are Charlie Donovan, Sweet Country Girl (Tori), and Holli (Sweet Souther Kisses) when we need to find a new lady? Gone forever it seems.

Pick one of the other one hundred twenty-one providers that you think will meet your screening request criteria and move on! Originally Posted by Wizard of Ahhhhs

JR you may have thought you were doing Kaylen a favor with your post. Please remember, it is not just men who have legitimate and completely understandable concerns about their discretion who do not want to provide any information to providers.

Sorry Stacy. Kaylen does require information. We had been in contact before, and she knew me. A great lady, but I don't tell everything I know.

Predators also seek out women who ask no questions as well.

This is the most perplexing problem for me, and I fully accept your statement. There has to be some way that the ladies can have safety. There are a lot of predators. I have know that many of the ladies are scared about who they see, and they should be. Before Dennis bought plaza escorts, I was seeing some of the ladies from Plaza and they were concerned about being found in the trunk of an abandoned car - as some ladies were at that time. Ladies should be careful. Time line: mid to late 70's after my first wife died of Breast Cancer. I didn't want a new relationship, I just wanted to take care of my children. You girls are important - thank you!


And some of them also read this board. Originally Posted by SinsOfTheFlesh

Agree every one. Seeing ladies is the same always: hobby or no hobby. If she doesn't want to see us, for whatever reason, it is her choice.

It is personal. But, because sex is so personal it leaves us psychological naked and open to attack by predators. Over the months and years we all begin to wonder how to trust others.

I know complicated. But always be kind to others. Too many people are power hungry and try to control others in their lives, and in the hobby.

The hobby can be good, and allow guy to get away and relax with a beautiful woman. I don't know about others, but I need that. But I also need to feel safe, or I surely won't relax. (I didn't call you Shirley. )

JR

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Now what took a little bit for me to realize was that when contacting them... they don't really know crap about me.
Originally Posted by ElumEno

This is the essence of what we guys need to understand. They have to feel comfortable about seeing us. How do you get that on a first meeting. If a guy expects that, on a first meeting, he is not understanding that most women need to feel that they are not endangered; they need to feel comfortable with a guy.

JR

Thanks for your input, JR.

There are only Two Options:

(1) You decide yes you will give out all the information the provider needs to feel safe seeing you. You get to see her.

(2) You decide you are not comfortable giving out the information the provider requires in order to see you. You do not get to see her. You simply move on to another provider who does not screen as heavily.

SAFETY is, and will Always be, my number one priority while in the hobby. No Exceptions.

Safety related screening aside :wink: I've found a few friends named Ben answer the majority of questions I'm uncomfortable with. We always have a friend in common, it seems.

For me personally I want the lady I date to be comfortable with me and if that requires real name, employer, or whatever else she might need to make sure she is safe with me than so be it.

If one or both parties are not comfortable it is hard to feel romantic and relaxed with my date.

If all else fails get p411, I have found it has opened doors for me and has helped.

As far as the ladies you have listed JR I have no problems paying a higher cost especially if that is what they feel they need to make ends meet or to not have them high volume like some ladies do.

One of the names you mentioned you said she asked for your real name and home address, she has never asked that information for me, she of course knows me by all 3 of my names.
I have a real name, my hobby name and my stage name, it does get confusing at times but it is what it is.

If you do not like what they want their are plenty of ladies in the KC metro area to choose from that has less stricter screening and you never know what you may get. You might find the diamond in the rough or you might find a lump of coal.

You get what you pay for in my honest opinion. When I am meeting a lady for the first time, I always have the white envelope, my id handy, my car keys and cell phone. I have been asked and have shown my ID and did not have a problem with it.

just my 2 pence worth

Obviously both guys and ladies have their own screening process. Having to give out personal info is a very tough call to make. Most cases I personally wouldn't do it. Dahlia has a pretty tough screening process as noted. If it makes her more comfortable, I'm cool with that. She is one of the few I would trust with said info.

It is standard practice and many ladies use it. Many Escorts are licensed, in Kansas city to be a legal escort you have to be licensed. You act like what she says is crazy when in fact your just under informed. Originally Posted by dirty dog

My apologies apparently I am uninformed. I thought it was illegal to trade sex for money and that is why they were doing stings. Guess I learn something new everyday. I would imagine many of the other providers should go get a license.

JR you may have thought you were doing Kaylen a favor with your post. Please remember, it is not just men who have legitimate and completely understandable concerns about their discretion who do not want to provide any information to providers. Predators also seek out women who ask no questions as well.

And some of them also read this board. Originally Posted by SinsOfTheFlesh

Remember the golden rule

those who have the gold, make the rules
providers travel or can have a bad rep and easily make it good again
men can't do those things, which is why men have to be more cafeful
I mean,
DUH

My apologies apparently I am uninformed. I thought it was illegal to trade sex for money and that is why they were doing stings. Guess I learn something new everyday. I would imagine many of the other providers should go get a license. Originally Posted by Jayhawker

Escorting is a legal occupation and some places do require a license... you are assuming that all escorts sell sex... escorts sell their time only.
Now here is the real kicker... in some places that require an Escort license the fine for not having one is greater then the fine for solicitation.

There are only Two Options:

(1) You decide yes you will give out all the information the provider needs to feel safe seeing you. You get to see her.

(2) You decide you are not comfortable giving out the information the provider requires in order to see you. You do not get to see her. You simply move on to another provider who does not screen as heavily.

SAFETY is, and will Always be, my number one priority while in the hobby. No Exceptions. Originally Posted by Urban Dahlia

.... and there is no place in this hobby for hobbyists or providers to get "mad" at each other over screening requirements. If a provider asks for something in screening and you don't want to give it to them, then don't. Why get mad at them or argue with them about why they do what they do. Asking for employer is not common, but it is something I have seen from quality providers and agencies.

We should be respectful of each other... especially when it comes to safety. Just say no and move on.

.... and there is no place in this hobby for hobbyists or providers to get "mad" at each other over screening requirements. If a provider asks for something in screening and you don't want to give it to them, then don't. Why get mad at them or argue with them about why they do what they do. Asking for employer is not common, but it is something I have seen from quality providers and agencies.

We should be respectful of each other... especially when it comes to safety. Just say no and move on. Originally Posted by Johnny4455

I agree with everything, and I understand the needs of both the guys and the girls. Safety is first. How do we solve this? I am not sure.

I recognize that my viewpoint is not that of everyone else. My background in computer database work gives me an understanding of how personal information can be used. Some of my files have been revealed in the last couple of weeks, and I have indicated that there are hundreds of women willing to see us in the Kansas City area.

As I write this, I pulled up my files of ladies who have been reported for working with LE, or blackmailing a client. Scary.

I regret mentioning Dahila Urban. Saying that I was angry with her was not correct, a better thing to say, and more honest, would have been that I was extremely disappointed because I wanted to meet her, and holidays are a trigger for my male needs; male egos don't like to feel rejected. I accepted her requirements, but I was disappointed. Dahila gives the impression of a very intelligent and talented woman. I have enjoyed her comments and writing skills, and had a desire to meet her to talk as much as anything else. Smart women impress me.

First time meetings with anyone are a time for caution. One of the best things that can be done for first meetings is to set up a dinner date. However, not being willing to put up with crap from a self-centered male is not crazy, it is rational.

No LE, and few rip-off ladies, will take the time or effort to get to know you. For a possible future favorite lady the dinner is a relaxed job interview.

Some guys just want to see as many women as possible so that they can add to their tally sheet. I want to find a lady that can be a favorite that I feel safe with. I am amazed at the number of guys that have posted reviews about an initial meeting with a lady who gives them an immediate demand for caution, or bad vibrations, and they say: "What the hell - I am already here, and I am horny!" For the ladies the word is: "This guy is a creep, but I need the money."

For both parties, it is time to walk away. Your safety is more important.

There are too many predators in the hobby.

Be safe my friends,

JR