In what way does a lady screening make it any "safer" for a guy to see her?

gfejunkie's Avatar
You are wasting your words.... He has no arguments that hold weight and his sole purpose here for a long time is to take shots at the guy he feels cost him his ability to abuse the position of a Moderator. Originally Posted by Whispers
You didn't cost me jack shit. I just got tired of putting up with you. Still am.
I got all the perks I needed from this site. Now I'm enjoying my comfortable retirement.

At least I don't have to hide my identity when it comes to screening.

I don't shop here anyway so I don't give a shit whether the ladies here screen or not.

They'd be fools if they didn't though.
Simply because of f****rs like you.
Whispers's Avatar
I don't hide who I am. I am actually far more public and social than the avg guy around here. I simply choose to not share that information within the context of doing business.

For someone that has been tired of me for years now you sure seem to go out of your way to try to engage me.

It's amazing after all these years and the lack of effectiveness you had even as a Mod that you think your drivel has any impact on what others here think or will ever influence my decisions on what and when to post.....

bitch getting old and having no relevance huh?
harkontume's Avatar
So here we have the classic thread hijack.
First: Topic established
Second : Counterpoint offered
Third : Sexy humor and repartee ensue( someone's slipping it up Jenn's butt?)
Fourth: more civilized discussion
Enter the Troll carrying a Troll spray in it's Troll hand...spewing and spiting ... practically foaming at the mouth..

Problem is the Troll doesn't even think it is a Troll !!!!!

What a strange world we live in!!
I use screening for these reasons... For one, my safety is important. Main thing of concern would be LE of course. So yes, I do want to hear from other providers that they have in fact seen him and he didn't arrest them. Secondly, I want to know what their attitude is like. If the lady said he was rude, or a little rough, I want to know this. Thirdly, I would like to know about his hygiene or his size. If I need to bring larger condoms, this is good pertinent information for me.

So yes, I will require references from everyone. Those that don't want to provide them.. oh well.
Whispers's Avatar
I use screening for these reasons... For one, my safety is important. Main thing of concern would be LE of course. So yes, I do want to hear from other providers that they have in fact seen him and he didn't arrest them. Secondly, I want to know what their attitude is like. If the lady said he was rude, or a little rough, I want to know this. Thirdly, I would like to know about his hygiene or his size. If I need to bring larger condoms, this is good pertinent information for me.

So yes, I will require references from everyone. Those that don't want to provide them.. oh well. Originally Posted by Tracy Aine
That is all good and well for you and not the point here darlin.... I acknowledge that there are a variety of solid reasons that make sense to a lady in regards to screening.

The question is "How does any of that make me or any other guy here safer?"

I am not slamming screening. I am taking up a single point made by someone else that is heard often..
Miss Valentina's Avatar
In 14 years what I have never really seen is a solid argument on how Your Screening makes it Safer for us to see you.

I've never really heard a solid argument on how a girl that screens is a "safer" or better choice for a guy than any other girl around here that does not screen.

How am I or any guy safer seeing a lady that screens vs a lady that is available right now that provides what is required but is not as concerned to screen?

I don't know darling. I don't believe I've ever personally made proposition that a gentleman is safer to see a lady that screens. The question typically asked is just how effective is the screening process to keep the lady safe, not vice versa.

Perhaps any answer is more nuanced than you would like the answer to be. But I will marshal my thoughts to give you one.

Here it is: I don't believe a provider screening a hobbyist makes it safer for the hobbyist.

I give my answer with caveats which though may apply to other providers, I can only speak for myself in these matters. That is to say my views are my own, I believe many providers would disagree.

To be sure, I won't condescend to make you believe I'm concerned with your safety when I'm screening/verifying. I'm screening for my safety only. Though I most undoubtedly agree that a determined psychopath might easily bamboozle me, it has been very effective in discouraging those two-bit knuckle dragging troglodyte swinging man-salads who think it's fun to frighten and otherwise harass us.

I perhaps have a different perspective because I am otherwise gainfully employed, food will not cease to appear on my table, nor fuel in my tanks should I cease to provide. What would likely happen is my Roth would fill less rapidly, I might have to take a week vacation to Bavaria as opposed to two, and my vintage clothing and furs collection would come to a grinding halt and up with this I. Will. Not. Put. I have the grand fortune of screening not only AGAINST the philistines, haters and barbarians but FOR good company as well. If you have crossed my threshold it is likely that not only am I having faith that you're not a 2014 version of Ted Bundy, but there is certain something that piqued my curiosity, a certain appealing little something.

But my real view on screening is just this: it may not protect me always, it surely doesn't serve to give a shit about you or your safety, what it is to me is a very basic form of manners. Manners or a formality that says there is still honor amongst thieves. It is not the act of verifying and performing some kind of reconnaissance itself, but rather the generosity and respect the gesture itself implies. Verification is the chap essentially saying, do what you will so that you may have piece of mind, and the lady is essentially saying, I am considering you to enter the most intimate part of me, my holiest of holies, and trust you with my very person. That does insinuate a certain trust, and where there is trust one can conclude safety. For BOTH parties. This is the only way in my estimation that screening may help keep a man safe, and it is small for sure.

It is the Whore's handshake and deferring nod, when there cannot be one. It says though we are charlatans each of us and amoral as all hell, there are still civilities between us. Some will find this ridiculous and meaningless, some will inherently understand what I mean.

For those who wish to keep things rather transactional I see absolutely no reason for screening, just come one in, give it a poke, slap down the cash and done. Why not?

As for me, I like the dance, and the civility and the connection, and I like people that like it as well.
That is all good and well for you and not the point here darlin.... I acknowledge that there are a variety of solid reasons that make sense to a lady in regards to screening.

The question is "How does any of that make me or any other guy here safer?"

I am not slamming screening. I am taking up a single point made by someone else that is heard often.. Originally Posted by Whispers
If I were a gent... I would choose to see a provider who screens over a provider who doesn't and would think that one who screens would be safer. Her caring for her own safety would be like a ripple effect to her customers, would it not be?

Examples: Provider A doesn't screen. She posts her number on various boards and let's anyone see her if they ring her up. She has men with no reference point coming to see her, no user name, no ID, nothing to differientiate him from the 5+ other men that saw her that day. Because she has no screening in tact, she gets robbed, beaten and raped often and posts alerts on the board quite often.

Provider B does screen. She only allows gentlemen from certain boards see her and they must have been vouched for by other ladies on the boards. Those that cannot get vouched for because they are new are required to submit ID's and other identifying personal information so God forbid something should happen to her, she will have some recourse. She hasn't been beaten, robbed or raped to date and she credits her screening to that fact.

Which one would you rather see? I personally would rather see the one who cuts out all the bullshit and has safe meetings with clients, therefore in effect, making the environment more safe for me.
Centaur's Avatar
Here it is: I don't believe a provider screening a hobbyist makes it safer for the hobbyist. Originally Posted by Miss Valentina
I can think of one reason, particularly in regards to newbie providers, though it applies less here where ladies are nominally verified. Someone who screens seems less likely to be a pimp luring marks to a robbery. Why would a crook limit his or her target pool? But it's doubtful that many if any ladies have that in mind when screening, and almost as unlikely that it occurs or matters to most hobbyists, save as one more subliminal consideration in the background radiation of our own reputational research.
Whispers's Avatar
If I were a gent... I would choose to see a provider who screens over a provider who doesn't and would think that one who screens would be safer. Her caring for her own safety would be like a ripple effect to her customers, would it not be? No. Not really....

Examples: Provider A doesn't screen. She posts her number on various boards and let's anyone see her if they ring her up. She has men with no reference point coming to see her, no user name, no ID, nothing to differentiate him from the 5+ other men that saw her that day. Because she has no screening in tact, she gets robbed, beaten and raped often and posts alerts on the board quite often.

She would have already been ruled out for me as a result of the drama around her. I don't see girls that post that I can see
. Anyone that is experiencing what you describe over and over and still here turning tricks is probably feeding a habit I don't want to be around.

Provider B does screen. She only allows gentlemen from certain boards see her and they must have been vouched for by other ladies on the boards. Those that cannot get vouched for because they are new are required to submit ID's and other identifying personal information so God forbid something should happen to her, she will have some recourse. She hasn't been beaten, robbed or raped to date and she credits her screening to that fact. The Boards show overtime though that even the best can go south and a lady that relied on screening can end up his first..... then because of his stature in the community and following she does not report it.... or she does report it and it is dismissed because of his stature.... until it happens again...

Which one would you rather see? I personally would rather see the one who cuts out all the bullshit and has safe meetings with clients, therefore in effect, making the environment more safe for me. Originally Posted by Tracy Aine
To answer your question. I would rule out the first one for the reasons noted above.

I make decisions based on looks, freshness and the reviews of certain members that have seen them. I would probably not be aware of the information you present in regards to the 2nd one. It is not what is found in many reviews or something I look into....

I think you make assumptions that are not relevant to a lot of guys. At least ones I know.... If I was sitting at a table with you in a social setting and knew absolutely noting about you, the pics I have seen indicates you would overcome most sensibilities I might employ top make a decision and I might proposition you trying to convince you Right Now, Let's Go!

Whispers's Avatar
In 14 years what I have never really seen is a solid argument on how Your Screening makes it Safer for us to see you.

I've never really heard a solid argument on how a girl that screens is a "safer" or better choice for a guy than any other girl around here that does not screen.

How am I or any guy safer seeing a lady that screens vs a lady that is available right now that provides what is required but is not as concerned to screen?

I don't know darling. I don't believe I've ever personally made proposition that a gentleman is safer to see a lady that screens. The question typically asked is just how effective is the screening process to keep the lady safe, not vice versa.

Perhaps any answer is more nuanced than you would like the answer to be. But I will marshal my thoughts to give you one.

Here it is: I don't believe a provider screening a hobbyist makes it safer for the hobbyist.

I give my answer with caveats which though may apply to other providers, I can only speak for myself in these matters. That is to say my views are my own, I believe many providers would disagree.

To be sure, I won't condescend to make you believe I'm concerned with your safety when I'm screening/verifying. I'm screening for my safety only. Though I most undoubtedly agree that a determined psychopath might easily bamboozle me, it has been very effective in discouraging those two-bit knuckle dragging troglodyte swinging man-salads who think it's fun to frighten and otherwise harass us.

I perhaps have a different perspective because I am otherwise gainfully employed, food will not cease to appear on my table, nor fuel in my tanks should I cease to provide. What would likely happen is my Roth would fill less rapidly, I might have to take a week vacation to Bavaria as opposed to two, and my vintage clothing and furs collection would come to a grinding halt and up with this I. Will. Not. Put. I have the grand fortune of screening not only AGAINST the philistines, haters and barbarians but FOR good company as well. If you have crossed my threshold it is likely that not only am I having faith that you're not a 2014 version of Ted Bundy, but there is certain something that piqued my curiosity, a certain appealing little something.

But my real view on screening is just this: it may not protect me always, it surely doesn't serve to give a shit about you or your safety, what it is to me is a very basic form of manners. Manners or a formality that says there is still honor amongst thieves. It is not the act of verifying and performing some kind of reconnaissance itself, but rather the generosity and respect the gesture itself implies. Verification is the chap essentially saying, do what you will so that you may have piece of mind, and the lady is essentially saying, I am considering you to enter the most intimate part of me, my holiest of holies, and trust you with my very person. That does insinuate a certain trust, and where there is trust one can conclude safety. For BOTH parties. This is the only way in my estimation that screening may help keep a man safe, and it is small for sure.

It is the Whore's handshake and deferring nod, when there cannot be one. It says though we are charlatans each of us and amoral as all hell, there are still civilities between us. Some will find this ridiculous and meaningless, some will inherently understand what I mean.

For those who wish to keep things rather transactional I see absolutely no reason for screening, just come one in, give it a poke, slap down the cash and done. Why not?

As for me, I like the dance, and the civility and the connection, and I like people that like it as well. Originally Posted by Miss Valentina


Thank-you for a well written and thought out response. I seem to need to keep repeating for the sake of others that I support your as well as every lady's rights to make decisions and run your business as you see fit. It's a shame people cannot read for context very well here.

Than-you as well for responding to the very simple question posed.
I can think of one reason, particularly in regards to newbie providers, though it applies less here where ladies are nominally verified. Someone who screens seems less likely to be a pimp luring marks to a robbery. Why would a crook limit his or her target pool? But it's doubtful that many if any ladies have that in mind when screening, and almost as unlikely that it occurs or matters to most hobbyists, save as one more subliminal consideration in the background radiation of our own reputational research. Originally Posted by Centaur
I can think of another. Law enforcement. Not really such a concern if you are seeing a lady on here with lots of reviews, the same with the gent (who have established themselves with reviews, etc). . I have come around to using triangulating information on this board as a form of screening, although it still makes me nervous. But, someone with 15 plus reviews and no alerts in three years has done his time and made the effort to create his persona, and I am open to using that as a valid screening resource. I don't think getting a "he's cool" from another women is offering me information at that point. So, that can work sometimes.

So, I can understand a guy seeing a woman who is well known not being so concerned with her not asking for references as both have invested the energy into their reputation. However, I am always a little shocked to see the alerts from gentlemen who walked into a BP scam in one form or another. If she has no reputation, do you not think twice when she asks you for NO information. And honestly, I see more of those alerts from the men than from the women.

This is illegal. There are people out there paid a decent salary to put us in jail for engaging in this. That's a fact. As a guy, I would very wary of seeing a woman with little to no investment in the community who asked for jack before seeing me. I know this is really anecdotal, but I watched this CNN show, not sure what it was, but they were filming the whole transaction between the police officers and potential johns. Do you think the police made it difficult for them to come in? Nope. That asked for nothing. Like five guys, boom, boom, boom. The consequences for being caught at this are really terrible. I would never get another job again, not in the day and age of background checks. It would be devestating for me, for almost anyone, unless you are just independently wealthy.

To address to Ops original question. I am intrisincally distrusful of data as it can usually be manipulated however you want. Just logically speaking, there are people out there who get paid to catch us doing this very thing. Does it make sense to put absolutely no barriers out there between you and your freedom? It doesn't to me. I have posted this before, but I will say it again. I've been contacted by a police officer. I don't know how he got my number (which I don't have anymore), but my best guess is they confiscated someone's phone; my number was in there and they cold calling. I keep no numbers in my phone, never have. Makes it harder to give references, but if my phone is ever confiscated, they will find nothing. This is what I got:
"This is so and so."
"Okay"
"I was wondering if we could meet?"
"I'm sorry, I don't know you. Who are you looking for?"
(at this point, realized he didn't even know my hooker moniker)
" where did we met?"
"oh you know, probably out by the airport."
"I gotta go".
Repeat that same conversation almost verbatim but with different officers on several different occassions until I changed numbers.

That sort of shit is rare, but it happens. It happens. And that dude did something stupid somewhere and then someone in Houston's police department had my fucking number. I do believe that had he been more circumspect in who he sees, that would not have happened. So, yeah, I think screening goes both ways. And not doing anything, puts us all in danger. It's not whether it is perfect or not. It never will be. We are in a constant cat and mouse game. But, does it make you safer? It would seem just by sheer logic that it does.

As far as meeting crazies, that's a much more grey area. I would seem to reason that having to be responsible to a communit, would make a lot of bad behavior difficult to conduct. The safety of this is fueled by reputation on both sides.
Miss Valentina's Avatar
Oh yes certainly! Three good reasons to screen that benefits both naughty boys and girls in addition to keeping the hosers at bay and generally being a mannerly thing to do:

1. Pimps
2. Cops
3. Opening the door to find your client is actually your dad/brother/Uncle Al.
Oh yes certainly! Three good reasons to screen that benefits both naughty boys and girls in addition to keeping the hosers at bay and generally being a mannerly thing to do:

1. Pimps
2. Cops
3. Opening the door to find your client is actually your dad/brother/Uncle Al. Originally Posted by Miss Valentina


pretty good godamn reason. You want to open the door to a cop?
Toyz's Avatar
  • Toyz
  • 08-15-2014, 06:32 PM
Oh yes certainly! Three good reasons to screen that benefits both naughty boys and girls in addition to keeping the hosers at bay and generally being a mannerly thing to do:

1. Pimps
2. Cops
3. Opening the door to find your client is actually your dad/brother/Uncle Al. Originally Posted by Miss Valentina
Yah, but you gotta admit uncle Al was one of your ATF's...
Whispers's Avatar
I can think of another. Law enforcement.

I think any lady that believes she can screen out a real effort by LE to be seen is fooling herself.. The get past the efforts of biker gangs, dope dealers and organized crime when they want to. None of you remotely posses the resources to thwart an organized effort.


I am always a little shocked to see the alerts from gentlemen who walked into a BP scam in one form or another. If she has no reputation, do you not think twice when she asks you for NO information. And honestly, I see more of those alerts from the men than from the women.

Very rarely is there an experienced hobbyist posting a story of that nature... but very few guys think about much other than the picture that prompted the phone call...

This is illegal. There are people out there paid a decent salary to put us in jail for engaging in this. In Austin it is a token effort with very little resources behind it.....

That's a fact. As a guy, I would very wary of seeing a woman with little to no investment in the community who asked for jack before seeing me.

That would be rare....... Guys and gals have been doing this for centuries and the community of online providers that screen is a drop in the bucket.....


To address to Ops original question. I am intrisincally distrusful of data as it can usually be manipulated however you want. Just logically speaking, there are people out there who get paid to catch us doing this very thing. Does it make sense to put absolutely no barriers out there between you and your freedom?

You are assuming that the fact that I or others do not care whether or not you screen means we are clueless in how to handle ourselves and keep from being at risk. If you find so much of this shocking it will probably bother you as well to know that in the last 6 weeks "someone like me" probably saw 4 girls he had never seen before, met at a hotel or bar, chatted a little, got naked and did the deed and the first time cash was produced was after he was dressed and ready to leave....

Personally.. I am that kind of client... I do not provide any personal information and I don't do envelopes, discuss money or pay up front.....


It doesn't to me. I have posted this before, but I will say it again. I've been contacted by a police officer. I don't know how he got my number (which I don't have anymore), but my best guess is they confiscated someone's phone; my number was in there and they cold calling. I keep no numbers in my phone, never have. Makes it harder to give references, but if my phone is ever confiscated, they will find nothing. That's is naivety darlin.... They will find records of each and every call if they want... IF not in the phone then with the service provider via a subpoena....

This is what I got:
"This is so and so."
"Okay"
"I was wondering if we could meet?"
"I'm sorry, I don't know you. Who are you looking for?"
(at this point, realized he didn't even know my hooker moniker)
" where did we met?"
"oh you know, probably out by the airport."
"I gotta go".
Repeat that same conversation almost verbatim but with different officers on several different occassions until I changed numbers.

Doesn't sound remotely like LE to me.... probably some idiot not understanding the mechanics on how to get laid.

That sort of shit is rare, but it happens. It happens. And that dude did something stupid somewhere and then someone in Houston's police department had my fucking number. I do believe that had he been more circumspect in who he sees, that would not have happened. So, yeah, I think screening goes both ways. And not doing anything, puts us all in danger.

So far all you have demonstrated is why you get a false sense of security by screening for you. Nothing remotely shows how any of it adds to any of our safety...

It's not whether it is perfect or not. It never will be. We are in a constant cat and mouse game. Must be tough living day to day convinced someone is out to get you......... I highly doubt the avg girl here is on anyone's radar

But, does it make you safer? It would seem just by sheer logic that it does. I have yet to hear any logic that supports it.

As far as meeting crazies, that's a much more grey area. I would seem to reason that having to be responsible to a communit, would make a lot of bad behavior difficult to conduct. The safety of this is fueled by reputation on both sides. Originally Posted by chelseabean

Yet very few "reputations" here seem to matter as a screening parameter to the avg girl....