Threesomes

Sounds like to me.... She's all talk and no play... Because if yall been talking about it... AND.... Having trouble finding a willing partner... And she's not wanting to go thru when YOU found a solution by getting a provider... Then she must not want to really do it... Either u want it or not! Can't be half stepping the fantasy.. If she's feeling insecure then she shouldn't want to share you period. Just my opinion . Just have her participate in the selection and make her feel like she's the chooser and ur the payer lol

Very well said

Sounds like to me.... She's all talk and no play... Because if yall been talking about it... AND.... Having trouble finding a willing partner... And she's not wanting to go thru when YOU found a solution by getting a provider... Then she must not want to really do it... Either u want it or not! Can't be half stepping the fantasy.. If she's feeling insecure then she shouldn't want to share you period. Just my opinion . Just have her participate in the selection and make her feel like she's the chooser and ur the payer lol Originally Posted by Dr. Vanity

I'm not much into threesomes but if I was, I wouldn't choose a provider either.

Sounds like to me.... She's all talk and no play... Because if yall been talking about it... AND.... Having trouble finding a willing partner... And she's not wanting to go thru when YOU found a solution by getting a provider... Then she must not want to really do it... Either u want it or not! Can't be half stepping the fantasy.. If she's feeling insecure then she shouldn't want to share you period. Just my opinion . Just have her participate in the selection and make her feel like she's the chooser and ur the payer lol Originally Posted by Dr. Vanity

You're an idiot. She is definitely down, she just doesn't want a hooker. We've done this before. Our girl moved away and now we're just having trouble finding someone like minded.

Bobinkc has a good idea there. Set it up in advance to meet at a bar, the provider could "pick up on you" and away you go! Originally Posted by FrankieP

Sounds like a horrible idea. I'm lucky enough that she really wants to do it. I'm not going to trick her into something that she doesn't want to do.

You're an idiot. She is definitely down, she just doesn't want a hooker. We've done this before. Our girl moved away and now we're just having trouble finding someone like minded. Originally Posted by bigd88

EXACTLY! I would want my threesome with my lover to be special and for the third person to be someone we trust and know. Not someone we are paying by the hour.

Sounds like a horrible idea. I'm lucky enough that she really wants to do it. I'm not going to trick her into something that she doesn't want to do. Originally Posted by bigd88

You sound like a caring and thoughtful man. Even more reason to spend the time looking for a lady who the both of you trust and like!
Maybe try upscale bars. I meet a lot of great ladies at some of our downtown bars here. And they're a little older and more mature. I suggest staying away from the girls that run with a big group of friends.

I had a 3 some with my computer yesterday...now it wont work!

Sounds like a horrible idea. I'm lucky enough that she really wants to do it. I'm not going to trick her into something that she doesn't want to do. Originally Posted by bigd88

Then it shouldn't be that hard. When I've had a girl that wanted one she usually had zero issues in finding a third. You made it sound like you were having problems making it happen.

And BTW guys. It's a fucking threesome not true love. There's nothing special about it. when you start doing that that's when problems arise. Make it happen and move along.

Our girl moved away and now we're just having trouble finding someone like minded. Originally Posted by bigd88

Then it shouldn't be that hard. When I've had a girl that wanted one she usually had zero issues in finding a third. You made it sound like you were having problems making it happen. Originally Posted by BobInKC

There is a reason that a "third" for a threesome is called a "unicorn" in the swinger community. An attractive bi woman who is interested in being a third and is equally acceptable to you and your wife is almost as rare as that mythical beast.

Hunting Unicorns

How to find a unicorn for your threesome and not ruin everything

A Unicorn Offers Advice to Couples Hunting Unicorns

When Threesomes Go Wrong.. Voice of a Unicorn

Kinda hinky to deceive your GF into being with a provider when she has said she's reluctant or hesitant.

Plus, a provider might be a bit hesitant to play along knowing you're hooking up by deceit. Not trying to be harsh, but just adding a perspective you might not have thought of with the "little head." Originally Posted by cuddlyteddybear

Agreed. It is really unfair to fool your significant other into having sex with a prostitute. Besides the general squickiness of the deceit, you are putting your loved one at risk without her knowledge. Sure, the risk may be low, but the amount that we talk about stings on this board would indicate that we are aware of the issue. It would be the ultimate violation to trick your lover into inadvertently breaking the law.

I thought about trying that, but I know that I have a family member on there. I really don't want them stubbling across our profile. Think Plenty of Fish or any other site might be good? Originally Posted by bigd88

Sounds like C4P.com might be what you're looking for.

I think I spoke before I thought yesterday which isn't that surprising. Hiring some help without her knowing would be a bad idea. My apologies.

That said, as Questor pointed out, the mythical creature you are seeking is quite elusive. One of the hookup sites may be your best bet.

Maybe set something up with a provider that you know she would like and make it look like a chance encounter? I've done something along those lines before. Originally Posted by BobInKC

This isn't hard to set up and I did it a couple of times when I was in Topeka. In the relationship I was in the third girl was always a play toy for the both of us, so we wanted someone expendable and that we didn't have to deal with.

While the girl was not happy with the thought of a provider, due to the skills, hotness/more attractive than you, and what I would call an "ewwww" factor (she's a hooker!) she was open to picking up strippers (which we did a couple of times - she was attractive ) so I felt ok with just arranging a provider, much less expensive than tooling up a stripper and chancing being in on club drama when you come back and the stripper sees you as a "friend she can talk to" (yeah that's a good way to hear all about what happens in the locker room... allllllll night long). So a provider made life easier.

She never knew, but she did think it was another stripper, which isn't too far off. (I think she was obsessed with strippers...) If you're into the hobby anyway, you're already across the "she doesn't know line" .... just make sure the provider knows the details.

As to those who have some moral stand against it... fair enough. To each their own.


BTW: If none of this appeals to you... Then I suggest AdultFriendFinder, or one of the fetish sites like Fetlife. That way you can be up front. If you're worried about your "relative" finding our you're on AFF, just provide pics on request. There are many profiles and odds are they will never know its you, but you can track who you are talking to. You should not have that much of a problem with those sites and what you are looking for as an alternative to the simplicity of a provider.

You're an idiot. She is definitely down, she just doesn't want a hooker. We've done this before. Originally Posted by bigd88

Interesting...
I can see her point of view of not wanting to see any escorts. We sure are a bunch of Dirty little vixens lol.

Curious though...
Does she know that you fuck hookers?

Threesomes makes jealousy raise up, my right hand does not trust my left hand anymore.

There is a reason that a "third" for a threesome is called a "unicorn" in the swinger community. An attractive bi woman who is interested in being a third and is equally acceptable to you and your wife is almost as rare as that mythical beast.

. Originally Posted by KCQuestor

THIS!

I've been right where you're at with a couple of girls. Hell, right now my GF and I are STILL looking. But like Questor pointed out, it's not easy to find a girl that you like, your GF likes and who likes both of you and is down to just have sex without emotional attachment. Hell, even in the swinger community there is a lot of problem with that. Single girls get attached (granted SOME don't, but...) and there is USUALLY another guy involved, even if he's not physically present. But he may be a presence for her in who she sees, when she sees them,etc.

"Tricking" her is rough. I do have to admit. But here's the reason why, for THIS, I think escorts are slightly better. If you pick a good one, explain what you want, and don't want to go down, and they're cool w/ that, you'll have a great time because her job is to make sure both of YOU get off. BOTH of you. A Unicorn will have her own needs and ways of doing things. I can remember one episode a sweet, quiet girl got into our room and became Queen Whiny Bitch. Demanding we did things "JUST like THIS, or JUST LIKE THAT'. It was ALL about HER. And she was WAY more into my GF than me (a VERY VERY VERY common occurence). It wasn't enjoyable for either of us. Even the GF was turned off, not on by it. You eliminate the randomness of the encounter and ensure you both have fun. If you read my reviews, there was one encounter early on w/ my GF just trying out the bi thing for the first time that was UNBELIEVABLE. And, at first, she was leery of having a "professional" as well. I think sometimes it's their insecurities. They think if you're in bed with a pro, how will they ever stack up. But in this case, we were all into one another and I was thinking I should just go ahead and die right there, cuz life wasn't going to get any better than THAT! It was amazing!

If you're bound and determined to do without a pro, then you have several ways. First is the random. Just go out to a nice bar/club and have your GF flirt with girls. She'll be better bait than you ever will be. Next I'd say find out where the swingers clubs are located and give one a try. They're hit or miss. And you'll find that swingers can be quite cliquish. And expect to take time. While random hookups DO happen, they're a lot less common than you'd think. Especially if you're new. Newbies are usually watched a bit until everyone knows BOTH parties are cool and OK with it. But, again, remember that you're fishing in overfished waters there. EVERY couple there is looking for the Unicorn. But, at least at the clubs you get a chance to meet people socially first and you can meet lots of people in one sitting. Nothing may happen the first time (it might..) but you might meet people that you like and can meet again later.

Finally there are the websites. Personally I think AFF is complete waste of time. There are tons of crazies and fakes. And the system spams you with "interested parties" that aren't. C4P is better. But you need to join as a couple. Single males are not very welcome, even if your girl IS with you. Most just assume a single guy saying he has a girl is really a guy cheating. And, shocking to some, MOST swingers are adamantly opposed to cheating.

So, how did I do it? I hired a pro that was UTR and very "normal" that I already knew. Told her the deal and kept the payment on the DL. Just told her I was paying for drinks and gas money to join us and splitting the room.