- M_Star
- 11-20-2010, 06:31 AM
Why should he forget? He loves for who you are, including what you've done in the past, what you are today, what you will be.
- tt8083
- 11-20-2010, 06:47 AM
Fawn,
As an open minded man, I am going to give you my honest opinion.
Everyone goes to work for a reason and that is to make money. Weather that job is being a Provider, Lawyer, Doctor, Cars Salesman, or Etc... You still go to some kind of Job.
Now listen carefully this is very Important. You (Fawn) will need to be honest with this person and him honest to you.
If you quit being a provider do it on your own term and not do it just because you are trying chasing a relationship. (When you do things that are not on your own term you'll end up having doubt, regret, and resentment. Therefore the relationship is not going to survival or work out.)
Once this person has all the facts he can decide for himself. If he loves you and you love him somehow LOVE will find a way to keep you together. There is an old saying. People who Love you don't care and People who don't Love you care. (What that mean is people who really care about you don't care and will accept you for who you are. People who don't really care about you always find things or ways to not like you.) So, in other words if he love you he should accept you for who you are and all the things that makes who you are. If Not move ON and it was never meant to be.
Yes Fawn, when you are ready to move onto the next chapter of your life. Don't waste your time on men whom you are honest with but still are judging you. Be yourself and honest because there are millions of real men out there that will just simply accept you just the way you are.
As an open minded man, I am going to give you my honest opinion.
Everyone goes to work for a reason and that is to make money. Weather that job is being a Provider, Lawyer, Doctor, Cars Salesman, or Etc... You still go to some kind of Job.
Now listen carefully this is very Important. You (Fawn) will need to be honest with this person and him honest to you.
If you quit being a provider do it on your own term and not do it just because you are trying chasing a relationship. (When you do things that are not on your own term you'll end up having doubt, regret, and resentment. Therefore the relationship is not going to survival or work out.)
Once this person has all the facts he can decide for himself. If he loves you and you love him somehow LOVE will find a way to keep you together. There is an old saying. People who Love you don't care and People who don't Love you care. (What that mean is people who really care about you don't care and will accept you for who you are. People who don't really care about you always find things or ways to not like you.) So, in other words if he love you he should accept you for who you are and all the things that makes who you are. If Not move ON and it was never meant to be.
Yes Fawn, when you are ready to move onto the next chapter of your life. Don't waste your time on men whom you are honest with but still are judging you. Be yourself and honest because there are millions of real men out there that will just simply accept you just the way you are.
- Roman Polanski
- 11-20-2010, 06:54 AM
Fawn, for me speaking as a man, Roman Polanski. I could never forget, but if I loved you enough I could live with it and accept it, and never talk about it. We are blessed and we are not blessed with having memories. I feel if I were to truly love you, it would NOT be problem.
- Tony Patella
- 11-20-2010, 07:03 AM
Fawn:
texasred said it best...Truly forget , no , most memories stay with us forever. Accept , understand , and move forward with an undying love - depends on the person.
If you've found the right gent, then the person you are today is who he fell in love with. Our past doesn't define us...rather it's a series of events that has lead us to the current moment. Who we are tomorrow is based on the new choices we make, not choices already made.
Romance and relationships are never easy. Surely your new love understands who you are, so there is no need to dwell on the past. At the same time, there is no need to sweep it under the carpet. If you view it this way, if an issue surrounding your time in the hobby should surface in the future, it's just a wrinkle in the fabric of life that is easily smoothed out.
The hobby, and your time here...it's simply a part of your life...but in no way does it define you.
TP
texasred said it best...Truly forget , no , most memories stay with us forever. Accept , understand , and move forward with an undying love - depends on the person.
If you've found the right gent, then the person you are today is who he fell in love with. Our past doesn't define us...rather it's a series of events that has lead us to the current moment. Who we are tomorrow is based on the new choices we make, not choices already made.
Romance and relationships are never easy. Surely your new love understands who you are, so there is no need to dwell on the past. At the same time, there is no need to sweep it under the carpet. If you view it this way, if an issue surrounding your time in the hobby should surface in the future, it's just a wrinkle in the fabric of life that is easily smoothed out.
The hobby, and your time here...it's simply a part of your life...but in no way does it define you.
TP
- SASpurfan
- 11-20-2010, 07:29 AM
Fawn,
I have little to add to the many cogent comments made above, other than to express my congratulations to you. I have known for some time that there was an emptiness in your heart left there by your husband's death, and I am pleased that you have found someone to fill that void. Best wishes my friend, you deserve nothing less.
SAS
I have little to add to the many cogent comments made above, other than to express my congratulations to you. I have known for some time that there was an emptiness in your heart left there by your husband's death, and I am pleased that you have found someone to fill that void. Best wishes my friend, you deserve nothing less.
SAS
- Guest122610
- 11-20-2010, 07:30 AM
Real world, I could do it. But, there will be times when it will come up. Deny me sex, and things will be thought and possibly said. Need money, hmm some thoughts. So, it can work, shit will happen. It must be with two people that have an argument, get over it quickly, and move on.
- MaxiMilyen
- 11-20-2010, 07:37 AM
Fawn, the gents are right. You are not defined by your occupation. If the man you care for makes you feel as though this is what defines you, then you already have the answer you seek. I hope this is not the case. If you are getting vibes that it's going to be an issue in the long run, then I imagine you know which direction you need to go concerning this relationship.
You deserve to be treated like the truly good person you are. You have wonderful qualities that have nothing to do with your occupation and that were a part of you before you joined the hobby. If you didn't have those qualities already, you never would have been so successful at what you do here. I hope he can see those qualities in you, first and foremost. If so, then I imagine you will be one very happy lady. We all wish that for you, hon.
You deserve to be treated like the truly good person you are. You have wonderful qualities that have nothing to do with your occupation and that were a part of you before you joined the hobby. If you didn't have those qualities already, you never would have been so successful at what you do here. I hope he can see those qualities in you, first and foremost. If so, then I imagine you will be one very happy lady. We all wish that for you, hon.
- Guest082216-1
- 11-20-2010, 07:42 AM
Can a woman get out? Yes. Is it easy? No.
I think a to key getting out and also breaking the provider "mentality" is to understand the core reason(s) one is in the profession. And no, its NOT just money though that is or can be a very important part. Once you understand the true motivators for doing this, if you can address those issues, resolve them or find another way to deal with them, then you will be mentialy equipped to walk away.
As long as those underlying issues remain unresolved, it will be almost impossible to truly leave this profession. A woman might stop "providing" but will still have issues relating to men and will still find the urge to engage in this kind of activity almost impossible to resist. Your man's love may be unconditional and that will help but will not solve everything.
I think a to key getting out and also breaking the provider "mentality" is to understand the core reason(s) one is in the profession. And no, its NOT just money though that is or can be a very important part. Once you understand the true motivators for doing this, if you can address those issues, resolve them or find another way to deal with them, then you will be mentialy equipped to walk away.
As long as those underlying issues remain unresolved, it will be almost impossible to truly leave this profession. A woman might stop "providing" but will still have issues relating to men and will still find the urge to engage in this kind of activity almost impossible to resist. Your man's love may be unconditional and that will help but will not solve everything.
- Braveheart
- 11-20-2010, 08:15 AM
Max and Bubba --- very impressive posts. Sage comments from both imho.
Fawn - hope this gets you to smile...although it's not a funny topic...and I know I am being politically INcorrect, but...
Stay with this man (*he's gotta be special since you are!) long enough and maybe dementia will set in and then the answer to your question is, "YES!" he will forget.
Fawn - hope this gets you to smile...although it's not a funny topic...and I know I am being politically INcorrect, but...
Stay with this man (*he's gotta be special since you are!) long enough and maybe dementia will set in and then the answer to your question is, "YES!" he will forget.
- Guest062124
- 11-20-2010, 09:19 AM
Fawn,
As an open minded man, I am going to give you my honest opinion.
Everyone goes to work for a reason and that is to make money. Weather that job is being a Provider, Lawyer, Doctor, Cars Salesman, or Etc... You still go to some kind of Job.
Now listen carefully this is very Important. You (Fawn) will need to be honest with this person and him honest to you.
If you quit being a provider do it on your own term and not do it just because you are trying chasing a relationship. (When you do things that are not on your own term you'll end up having doubt, regret, and resentment. Therefore the relationship is not going to survival or work out.)
Once this person has all the facts he can decide for himself. If he loves you and you love him somehow LOVE will find a way to keep you together. There is an old saying. People who Love you don't care and People who don't Love you care. (What that mean is people who really care about you don't care and will accept you for who you are. People who don't really care about you always find things or ways to not like you.) So, in other words if he love you he should accept you for who you are and all the things that makes who you are. If Not move ON and it was never meant to be.
Yes Fawn, when you are ready to move onto the next chapter of your life. Don't waste your time on men whom you are honest with but still are judging you. Be yourself and honest because there are millions of real men out there that will just simply accept you just the way you are. Originally Posted by tt8083
Just had to say AMEN!
- bigbobftworth
- 11-20-2010, 09:43 AM
Fawn think about this. If the man you love is a hobbyist and I think he is, then you and he are on the same level. Let go of the past and embrace the future. Life is too short to worry about what cannot be changed. And remember what cannot be changed must be endured so move on with your life.
- jfred
- 11-20-2010, 09:48 AM
Hey Fawn, pretty exciting stuff being in love. 
I haven't read everything written above but would like to put in my 2 cents worth.
1. Get over the idea that what you've experienced sexually doesn't change your sexual identity. A very important part (not all) of who we are is molded by what we do, who we know, and all that. There is no RESTORE button on life.
The issue here, it seems to me, is whether you and/or your lover feel that the imprint and effect of your sexual experiences is something that needs to be forgotten or forgiven at all. I question whether they do and if it's a big issue to either of you I'd suggest that rather than drifting off into what you hope will be a sweet future, you pause (there is a PAUSE button! ) and get behind the inner assumptions that lie behind that. Did that make sense?
What I'm trying to say is that if your man considers you tainted in any way by what you've experienced, I'd go slow with him.
2. It seems to me that the issue going forward is this: What role will fidelity play in your relationship?
Someone above mentioned the "underlying causes" of a woman choosing sex-work, or even considering it as a possibility. It's worth spending some time on that because it might have real impact on the "success" of your relationship. And the same goes for your man if he is/was a hobbyist -- it WASN'T just because mamma wasn't giving him what he needed, and the impulses that led him to first consider and then follow thru on engaging the services of prostitutes aren't going to vanish simply because he has a willing and skillful lover at home. Does that make sense?
So, anyway, whether you agree that sexual fidelity is or isn't going to be a big issue, you both have to be able to reasonably expect that you can pull it off or you're setting yourself up for a bad time.
You're amazing Fawn. Good luck.
I haven't read everything written above but would like to put in my 2 cents worth.
1. Get over the idea that what you've experienced sexually doesn't change your sexual identity. A very important part (not all) of who we are is molded by what we do, who we know, and all that. There is no RESTORE button on life.
The issue here, it seems to me, is whether you and/or your lover feel that the imprint and effect of your sexual experiences is something that needs to be forgotten or forgiven at all. I question whether they do and if it's a big issue to either of you I'd suggest that rather than drifting off into what you hope will be a sweet future, you pause (there is a PAUSE button!
) and get behind the inner assumptions that lie behind that. Did that make sense? What I'm trying to say is that if your man considers you tainted in any way by what you've experienced, I'd go slow with him.
2. It seems to me that the issue going forward is this: What role will fidelity play in your relationship?
Someone above mentioned the "underlying causes" of a woman choosing sex-work, or even considering it as a possibility. It's worth spending some time on that because it might have real impact on the "success" of your relationship. And the same goes for your man if he is/was a hobbyist -- it WASN'T just because mamma wasn't giving him what he needed, and the impulses that led him to first consider and then follow thru on engaging the services of prostitutes aren't going to vanish simply because he has a willing and skillful lover at home. Does that make sense?
So, anyway, whether you agree that sexual fidelity is or isn't going to be a big issue, you both have to be able to reasonably expect that you can pull it off or you're setting yourself up for a bad time.
You're amazing Fawn. Good luck.
- kend61
- 11-20-2010, 09:57 AM
Fawn, the guy should love you for you and not the external stuff. I know its all a package deal, but its you the person that matters. What people do for a living should not have an affect on love if it does then its not meant to be.
Your real love will be all encompassing and will accept the whole package regardless.
Good people are out there, they just have to be trusted
Your real love will be all encompassing and will accept the whole package regardless.
Good people are out there, they just have to be trusted
- Traveler64
- 11-20-2010, 10:05 AM
Fawn -
If I was in his shoes I would start forgetting/burying your past the day you stopped providing. Once you turned 100% of your attention to me (and I did the same for you) that's the day the future starts. Until then things are fragile. IMHO
If I was in his shoes I would start forgetting/burying your past the day you stopped providing. Once you turned 100% of your attention to me (and I did the same for you) that's the day the future starts. Until then things are fragile. IMHO
- bigbobftworth
- 11-20-2010, 10:06 AM
Fawn, the guy should love you for you and not the external stuff. I know its all a package deal, but its you the person that matters. What people do for a living should not have an affect on love if it does then its not meant to be.Ok big tits never hurt either!!!!!
Your real love will be all encompassing and will accept the whole package regardless.
Good people are out there, they just have to be trusted
Just click this and enjoy my dear friend:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZpgY5S3AcSw&feature=fvst