Hobby Nightmares - What events have been or would be yours?

jimmylbob's Avatar
Edit: oh man!! I almost forgot the one who lost his dentures in my hoohaa! He was going to town up and down, up and down.. then all of a sudden I felt a sharp BITE! I screamed, he jumped, and I see a full set of teeth come out from my butterfly. Lord have mercy! To top it off.. he just left them out and through them on the floor next to the bed.. LMAO! Originally Posted by melannie_star
Holy smokes, Melannie! I have always hoped my performance would be memorable, but have not thought about being memorable like that!!! Hahaha! That is hilarious!
- stayed at this hotel a few times, desk manager always very nice and friendly. Show up this one evening and there is a fruit basket and bottle of wine on the bed with a note "don't be afraid to share". Call down to say thanks, she comes up to room about 7 stays until bout 10. Next afternoon I am in the lounge just starting to interview a new salesman. She walks up to the table and says "hey honey would ya'll like a cocktail while ya'll visit?" leans over and kisses the guy on the lips while waving her wedding ring at me behind her. Yup....
- First time in hotel, sitting at bar listening to barmaid needs money to pay bills, rent, phone etc her roommate doesn't help etc. She gets off at 11 spends time in my room. 2 nights later same bar different girl same story needs money to pay bills roommate doesn't help etc. She gets off at 11 spends time in my room. She calls for her ride and says can I give her the room number... sure. Knock on the door I open it girl barges in and says "are you going to fuck the whole family, you know our mother works the front desk!" Turns straight to her sister and says "yes.... Monday night."
- we see this smoking hot Asian waitress every week at local restaurant she is always very friendly big hugs telling me how hard she works needs money etc. My then wife hires her to redo the flower beds. The week after she does the beds I go to local message place. Put in room "she be here in 2 minutes"
Smoking hot waitress walks in... after 20 second stare down she says "beats doing your beds turn over'...laughing.
- me and couple friends head to casino. first night i call BP girl. Terrible visit, not the girl in pics (surprised? dah), rushed, 15 minutes out the door waste of money but she was hot looking. Next night we head to gamble at another casino down the road. Sitting at table next dealer walks up and guess who.... yup. I spend the next 20 minutes telling my buddies how good she looks naked, shaved pussy, nipple piercing, tatoo etc... as the next dealer walks up to relieve her she leans over and says "they knew all that shit already, where do you think I was before I went to you".
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This has happened twice to me with 2 different providers. A little embarrassing but both times funny. The ladies both times are finishing me off with a bbbj and both do not cim so when I shoot they point my dick towards me and a I got a good rope on my own face both times.

One nicknamed me SHOOTER after that.
I still can get quite some distance from time to time. I am thinking about wearing a clear shield face visor for my sessions now but dfk would be kinda difficult.
jerkn2u's Avatar
Mine to this day would have to be my first session with Jazzy Love
To sum it her -she had like 4 family members with her in an adjacent room- one of her "family members" literally passes out directly in front of the door- with convulsions and all-some of the other residents see it and call 911 and the EMT's arrive- they bring him into the room and before I get a chance to react -I hear sirens and the EMTs arrive- mind you I am still butt ass naked- I quickly jump in the covers hise the condoms and lube under the sheets and act as if I am "resting"- the EMT's ask Jazzy a few questions about the guys medical condition. When the EMT's have their backs turned I throw my clothes on so quick and got the fuck out of dodge. I don't think the EMT's never put 2 and 2 together and just probably thought I was a family member. If I were older and a different race it would have been very obvious why I was in that room lol. Originally Posted by wellendowed1911
I remember when you wrote that I still laugh off that.
jerkn2u's Avatar
My worst was when I first started hobbying.. I invited a girl to my house that wasn't verified or had one review. I paid her 400 no activities took place and her manager knocked on my door for a good 10 minutes... I never answered the door and she didnt leave because she was mad at him so he left her at my house.. It was my first and only over night... He came to pick her up at11 am the next day... $400 later, a severe case of paranoia and a can of 4 Loco in my driveway... Never played with a provider again with 0 reviews
This won't beat Jerks wellendowed story, but I see a bp page ad for "best looking masseuse in Texas" in Oak Lawn, five minutes from the Hilltop. It is obvious from the pics that she is an older lady. I appointment in and get to an old frame house in OL. She opens and she looks like my granny.
She says get undressed and Ill be right back. I just stand there looking at the wire with the lite bulb swinging over the homemade table trash all over, thinking no way this is going to happen.

She comes back in and I tell her she's fired and she says no I'm fired.

Sorry, to be continued. Have to go to a meeting now.
Sorry got interrupted. So the lady slams the door to the room and jumps in front of it blocking my escape and yells "What's wrong?!!" I tell her I've never done anything like this before and just can't go through with it. Too nervous. She says she wants twenty bucks for her time. I give her a twenty and she lets me leave. The house and the lady were like something out of Hitchcock's Psycho. I was just waiting for a guy with a chainsaw to jump out. lol