Discounts v. Tips v. Rates

I agree with you Charles. In my opinion the word tip should never be used in an ad or website. In all my years of tending bar, expectations of a tip were never mentioned. In what ever profession it is tips shouldn't be mentioned. Originally Posted by Ansley

As it relates to this world, the word "tip" in an ad screams "upsell" as in the fee was to get me here and anything "extra" is "extra." Total turnoff.

As we are now in the mother of all tipping seasons (hair stylist, paperboy, building super, etc.), even if it is expected, it should never be solicited

Women do generally tip more. Originally Posted by lisa.lisa0302

I tended bar for over 15 years. It was a very rare occasion that women tipped well. I liked having women sit at my bar though. They would attract men and that brought the better tips. Originally Posted by Ansley

In general people in the Bar/Restaurant business (or came from it) are the best tippers, regardless of gender, because they've been there.

I don't know that women are better tippers, but I'm from the world where she isn't picking up the check for much of what she consumes, not that I mind treating. For example you take a lady out for dinner and a show followed by drinks and she go the bar for a round of drinks and tips on a % basis a very generous amount, but that is the only tab she is picking up all night. Or the lady sitting at Ansley's bar all night that has a guy buy her three drinks, but she tips well on the one drink she does pay for...

I don't think I'm particularly cheap. I tip well in restaurants and probably below standard for my barber because I got into a habit years ago and just recently realized I needed to get with it and raise the tip.
Somehow, I equate tipping a provider with tipping my doctor or lawyer so I don't do it. After the fee reaches a certain level, I just feel a tip is extraneous. Originally Posted by John Bull

I have seen expectations for "barber" tips (which used to be modest) increase over the years and I attribute it to the blurring of the classic barber shop, the unisex salons and these new "salons" for men. At the salons the expectation is higher. I think as more guys have visited salons & they go back to barbers, they are more generous; driving up the expectation for everyone.

& agree on the point that at a certain point tipping on top of the fee seems extraneous

Don Adriano de Armado: . . . there is remuneration; for the best ward of mine honour is rewarding my dependents. . .

Costard: Now will I look to his remuneration. Remuneration! O, that’s the Latin word for three farthings: three farthings — remuneration.—‘What’s the price of this inkle?’—‘One penny.’—‘No, I’ll give you a remuneration:’ why, it carries it. Remuneration! why, it is a fairer name than French crown. I will never buy and sell out of this word. . . .

///////////////////////////////[later]/////////////////////////////////
.

Biron: . . . There’s thy guerdon; go.
Giving him a shilling

Costard: Gardon, O sweet gardon! better than remuneration, a’leven-pence farthing better: most sweet gardon! I will do it sir, in print. Gardon! Remuneration!

(Love’s Labour’s Lost, Act III Shakespeare)

A few days ago, I had a part failure on my eyeglasses. Nothing major, almost cosmetic. I went to the store where I bought them and a woman greeted me at the door as she had been installing Christmas decorations (and happy Chanukah for those of the Jewish faith). She immediately helped me and took the glasses to the back to be repaired. She came back out to show me different frames while I was waiting. Not being pushy or anything, but also seeing an opportunity if it presented itself (I did like the Tag-Heuer carbon fiber sunglass that a could have prescription lens installed). We did a bunch of small talk while killing time.

I looked a bit more and she came back with my glasses. She said to sit down and make sure they sit properly. Sure. A couple of tweaks and bends, and voila, almost like new. I appreciated all her help and had no problem with paying for the parts and labor to fix them. So I asked what do I owe?

She replied nothing. I said thank you and asked how about some wine (in a care free manner)? She said yes. Red or White? Red. I asked French, Italian, or US? She said Italian. Hmmm Barolo? Barbaresco? or Valpolicella? She said she likes Barolo. I said yes they are lovey wines, said thank you again, and was on my way.

Those of you who understand a bit of my persona on here, know there's more to this store. True.

This woman was quite the MILF. She was well endowed in her upper physical attributes. No wedding band (mine was on), and even nicely done nails. She had my attention.

I ended up with a schedule change and permitted me time to swing by a liquor store and indeed grab a bottle of Barolo ($27, not cheap, not expensive, I will admit to trying to find a cheaper bottle within my time frame ). Dropped it into a shiny sleeve with a bow and my biz card tied up with it.

I headed back to the glasses store. Of course, another worker comes out and I have to ask to see the woman that helped me earlier. She comes out after finishing a phone call with another customer. She has a nice smile when she sees me and then I pull the bottle from behind my back. She lights up and cannot believe what I had done (she didn't even see the bottle or that it was a Barolo). She was ecstatic. I did generously offer to assist with the consumption of it, if she needed help, but she was still in disbelief. We hugged and I thanked her for her help. She got this feeling tips (cash or otherwise) didn't come her way all that often. I was almost blushing, too.

It did make me feel good to make her day, as her reaction made mine. Yes, the lecherous side of me was at play but her response tempered my inner lecher.

As I drove home that evening, my phone rings from a number I did not recognize. It was her thanking me again. I told her it was my pleasure and I was glad she liked it and again offered to help her taste it. At one point she mentioned she had a boyfriend (crash and burn for me). I said he was a lucky guy. As we wound down the call and again offering to help drink it she said WRT the boyfriend that nothing is engraved in stone (i.e. there is window of opportunity for this floozy). I will be texting this morning asking how did the wine taste?

I was humbled by her response and felt great about making her happy even if nothing should come of my attempt at a tryst. So you folks can give me high fives or call me a dirtball (both might apply).

So that was my tip-of-the-week.

SR. There's something not quite right about that. Don't you think that tipping (whether by gift or money) is undermined by making a pass at the person involved?

C

SR. There's something not quite right about that. Don't you think that tipping (whether by gift or money) is undermined by making a pass at the person involved? C Originally Posted by Camille

Yes, it could be construed that way. I was truly pleased by the way I was taken care of. My flirting escalated into a "potential" meeting (not even a tryst). But life offers unexpected opportunities.

What if you stepped into a shop and low and behold "Mister Right" or "Mister Right Now" was assisting you, would you not flirt? perhaps come back with a bottle of wine and see what might occur?

Again, her reaction was priceless, regardless of outcome. Believe it or not, I was trying to be nice.

PS: The pass was attempted after the tip. I put my card on the bottle in case she wasn't there.

In this business, never expect a tip, but be very appreciative when one does tip.

Do women tip better than men in general? In my experience in the service industry, no. Now, those people who have worked in the service industry tip better than others. That's because they've been there, they know how hard you work and yes, you do depend on tips to make your cash flow better.

Now, to tackle the provider offering discounts and getting tips that way. There is no guarantee that if a provider offers a discount that the gent is going to give her a tip. Also, if a gent tips her the amount of the discount, why offer a discount at all?

SR. There's something not quite right about that. Don't you think that tipping (whether by gift or money) is undermined by making a pass at the person involved?

C Originally Posted by Camille

If we are trying to find out if it was a bonafide tip, the question is would SR have made the same gesture/"tip" if it was a guy waiting on him? I think we can guess the answer...

That said, is what he did wrong? Not in my view. I look at it as way of being noticed by her so he could improve his chances of getting in her pants whether it is realistic or not. People (Guys) do it all the time. Tipping $30 on the $10 diner tab...I mean I know a bunch of bartenders, waitresses that admit to taking their ring off because it is could for their bottomline.

Where, IMO, it crosses the line is when he takes it outside of her place of business and into her personal life.

On the other hand, from her perspective if the gift ("tip") makes her uncomfortable or is so extravagent that it implies somekind of obgligation she ought not accept it.

Where, IMO, it crosses the line is when he takes it outside of her place of business and into her personal life.

On the other hand, from her perspective if the gift ("tip") makes her uncomfortable or is so extravagent that it implies somekind of obgligation she ought not accept it. Originally Posted by atlcomedy

I am not sure if I took it "outside." She made the call to me, and the tenor of the conversation led to her telling me about the BF not being engraved in stone. And obviously if she was offended or thought it in appropriate she would have never called to thank me.

But you're probably right, I am a cad. Just a nice one.

I generally try to do something extra for the lady when we meet - a little gift, or some wine (Since I don't drink, it really is a gift for her LOL). Just something to say thank you for seeing me, since the lady still gets to choose here in this world as well as in every other. I have never really felt comfortable with the idea of leaving a tip, as I leave my gift in an envelope before we start, and the idea of adding to it somehow later seems imprudent at best, and borderline rude as well.

This is actually difficult for me, as I did tend bar and wait tables in High School and College (undergrad, that is) and I leave overly large tips all the time, and want to be appreciative of my companions. So, my dear ladies, how does one graciously and circumspectly thanks his date for an above average evening? Other than by seeing the lovely lady again and placing a "bonus" in her gift bag?

This enquiring mind wants to know....

I tended bar for over 15 years. It was a very rare occasion that women tipped well. I liked having women sit at my bar though. They would attract men and that brought the better tips. Originally Posted by Ansley

Ansley, Charles is right. The guys were coming to see you. I tended bar with a couple of true beauties like you, and I KNOW the good tips were for them, not because of any gals at the bar. Although I did do my best to contribute to our mutual cause when we worked together by taking care of the ladies LOL!

So... You want a tip? Earn it with service! The fact that you served me a drink (for example) and then ignored me except to bring the check does not qualify for a tip in my world.

I am not sure if I took it "outside." She made the call to me, and the tenor of the conversation led to her telling me about the BF not being engraved in stone. And obviously if she was offended or thought it in appropriate she would have never called to thank me.

But you're probably right, I am a cad. Just a nice one. Originally Posted by SR Only

No I don't think you did. Sorry if I was unclear. That was kind of my point. You took the bottle back to her place of business.

If you asked her for her number than called her a dozen times...that's creepy & what I was referring to.

If we are trying to find out if it was a bonafide tip, the question is would SR have made the same gesture/"tip" if it was a guy waiting on him? I think we can guess the answer...

That said, is what he did wrong? Not in my view. I look at it as way of being noticed by her so he could improve his chances of getting in her pants whether it is realistic or not. People (Guys) do it all the time. Tipping $30 on the $10 diner tab...I mean I know a bunch of bartenders, waitresses that admit to taking their ring off because it is could for their bottomline.

Where, IMO, it crosses the line is when he takes it outside of her place of business and into her personal life.

On the other hand, from her perspective if the gift ("tip") makes her uncomfortable or is so extravagent that it implies somekind of obgligation she ought not accept it. Originally Posted by atlcomedy

Yeah...I get that but we are not talking about that kind of service here. We are talking about a spectacle shop, where tips are just not given (hence the lady's reaction) and when one finally is it sort of comes attached with a "but in return I'd like...". This sort of store/service doesnt set itself up for tips, people don't go and work there in the hope of receiving them unlike the bar/restaurant industry. It probably wouldn't have stood out as so unusual had this happened in a bar..it happens there and anyone who is shocked that it does is a bit naive TBH.

Edit to add: Sorry, just realized that my initial post didn't say my comment was specific to the service/situation outlined

C

@Camille, point well taken. But doing this is not out of character for me. I wasn't clear about that with that either. An example, the local tire shop chain: We just had the snow tires put on the car (I know an alien concept for you Texas folks ). The company offers free change over as one of the benefits of doing business with the chain. They do the same for fixing flats. As it happened one of the summer tires failed the day I was planning to get the snows put on. But before I went to pick up the repaired tire (snows had been swapped the day before) I went out before I picked up a 18 pack of beer. When one of the counter guys came out to the car I kidded that the guys had left a special tire installation tool in the car, pointing to the beer. He thanked me and immediately walked it to the back of the shop. As I circled around to leave the shop, the counter guy pointed to me and the installers waved and said thanks. So when I show up for other tire related services, they are going to remember the customer who brought the beer. I've flipped cash to the installers too. Tire repair shops and sellers don't have a tip jar either. And trust me, I ain't lookin' for a date with these guys. LOL

Yeah...I get that but we are not talking about that kind of service here. We are talking about a spectacle shop, where tips are just not given (hence the lady's reaction) and when one finally is it sort of comes attached with a "but in return I'd like...". This sort of store/service doesnt set itself up for tips, people don't go and work there in the hope of receiving them unlike the bar/restaurant industry. It probably wouldn't have stood out as so unusual had this happened in a bar..it happens there and anyone who is shocked that it does is a bit naive TBH.

Edit to add: Sorry, just realized that my initial post didn't say my comment was specific to the service/situation outlined

C Originally Posted by Camille

I have tipped (gifts: baked goods, sporting tickets, case of beer, gift cards) in some unusual places for above & beyond service, such as a shipping place like, fed-ex kinkos, a client's assistant, the mechanic