How do I give an honest reference???

^^^ another good point. When you give someone a no-reference, that provided should protect the information you provided.

I have jumped through hoops to decline a date because I didn't want the client to know his reference said no. You never know how he may react towards her.

The way I look at it, a reference implies three things (and that's really all I care to know):

1. Is he safe? No LE, not violent, abusive, didn't push for BBFS
2. Is he clean? No hygiene issue etc.
3. Did he pay your donation?

If a provider asks me for a reference from someone I have not seen in over 6 months, I tell her: he was safe, no hygiene or payment issues, but last time I saw him was (insert date). I will leave it up to her to make the choice of whether it's been too long or not.

If it is a no-reference from me, I always elaborate on the reason. Originally Posted by Camille Fox

See,

Thanks Camille and to all who replied.
I'm trying to get on the same page with peeps here.
The more opinions the better we can shape a standard.

So off topic, but not to fare. I have sent a request to some providers for pre screening as I want to see them but not today. I never heard back from them. Is that simply becouse I said "pre screen" and not , " will you see me or are you available". Is silence just a no or is it they don't feel one really wants to see them so they don't take the request seriously?

IB

So off topic, but not to fare. I have sent a request to some providers for pre screening as I want to see them but not today. I never heard back from them. Is that simply becouse I said "pre screen" and not , " will you see me or are you available". Is silence just a no or is it they don't feel one really wants to see them so they don't take the request seriously?

IB Originally Posted by Iron Butterfly

Some ladies don't take "pre-screen" seriously. I personally prefer pre-screening, but that's just me. I would try to contact them when you are ready to schedule, if crickets then, assume it's a no go.

I'm actually curious to see what these provider references even look like. Majority of references are positive hence them being references! So I wonder what a typical one looks like. Is it just short with something like "good to go!" or is it detailed about the guys looks, size, etc.? Would be great to know since you guys can atleast see our reviews even if they aren't in detail.

I'm not sure how references are done by the ladies but I would hope for their safety that they would be honest. Any physical attribute or a psychological tendency that is off you'd probably want to state that.

And while speaking of honesty, perhaps just me, but if there was something they were uncomfortable with me with whatever I would actually be pleased to know just for my self improvement I guess and to better the experience next time, but again that's just me because I enjoy it better knowing it's a mutual enjoyable experience than a one sided thing.

Smelly dick — check. Pushing for bareback — check. Speculation on medical condition — check.

So where's the No review? Or did this thread actually scare him off?

I'm actually curious to see what these provider references even look like. Majority of references are positive hence them being references! So I wonder what a typical one looks like. Is it just short with something like "good to go!" or is it detailed about the guys looks, size, etc.? Would be great to know since you guys can atleast see our reviews even if they aren't in detail. Originally Posted by avalanche16

I usually say. If I would see him again or not.
Most of us keep it short and sweet since looks and size are quite subjective; much like any review on provider.

I'm not sure how references are done by the ladies but I would hope for their safety that they would be honest. Any physical attribute or a psychological tendency that is off you'd probably want to state that.

And while speaking of honesty, perhaps just me, but if there was something they were uncomfortable with me with whatever I would actually be pleased to know just for my self improvement I guess and to better the experience next time, but again that's just me because I enjoy it better knowing it's a mutual enjoyable experience than a one sided thing. Originally Posted by Aramis

I totally agree with you. I too would like to know what I could do better.
That is why I usually tell the guy if thing don't smell look right.
Also, I never really liked that there are private areas on this info sight.
Too much room for people to be two faced, BCD or otherwise.
I think it would be better if it was all out on the table so people could defend themselves and on lookers can make a decision based on both sides of the story.

Honestly, references are not the most important part of my screening process for obvious reasons (jealousy/cock blocking, lies to keep a client to themselves ect). However, I know many providers base their decision on it and I want to do the right thing here.

Smelly dick — check. Pushing for bareback — check. Speculation on medical condition — check.

So where's the No review? Or did this thread actually scare them off? Originally Posted by JohnnyYanks

FTFY!

No no review as of yet but I have been running into some serious no references lately. It's still such a catch 22 on what to do. I will take the advice given here tho.

Smelly dick — check. Pushing for bareback — check. Speculation on medical condition — check.

So where's the No review? Or did this thread actually scare him off? Originally Posted by JohnnyYanks

... FTFY ... Originally Posted by Ebony Jasmine Love Austin

But the post needed no fixing.

Unless you're suggesting you have multiple poor reviews you're trying to head off with this thread?

But the post needed no fixing.

Unless you're suggesting you have multiple poor reviews you're trying to head off with this thread? Originally Posted by JohnnyYanks

It must be put words in Jasmine's mouth day.
Awesome!

As if there aren't enough.

... Unless you're suggesting you have multiple poor reviews you're trying to head off with this thread? Originally Posted by JohnnyYanks

It must be put words in Jasmine's mouth day ... Originally Posted by Ebony Jasmine Love Austin

Or not. ? /= .

Fair enough; you weren't exactly putting words in my mouth.

To answer your insinuating question, idk and idc. I do the best I can do and if someone doesn't like it they can post a review about it. I have no problem with that.

I've had an influx (4 to be exact) of situations where I want to and should give a no reference but don't know how to go about it.

Did you read the thread, like, at all?

... I've had an influx (4 to be exact) of situations where I want and should give a no reference but don't know how to go about it.

Did you read the thread, like, at all? Originally Posted by Ebony Jasmine Love Austin

Of course I read it. Where did I give evidence that I did not?

That I took your original post, and all of the commiserating that followed, with a hefty dose of skepticism is far from evidence that I haven't been paying attention to what was written. And the fact that you stoop to suggesting same suggests your position to be especially vulnerable.

As to your other point: 5 years on this board, and perhaps much longer elsewhere, and you don't know how to give a NO recommendation? Hmmm. Aren't there Provider only forums where the Ladies discuss situations with/about the Gents? Or, you could simply tell it as it is. Or, you could stop seeing gents with smelly junk. Or ... whatever; I really have no wish to suggest how you should manage your business.

But, it's not like I haven't seen this same type thread a hundred times. The difference typically being while the new provider posts her rebuttal in Coed after the review, the experienced provider (like yourself) gets the word out in Coed before the gent posts the NCNS or NO review. Maybe it will act as a deterrent. At least it will damage his credibility ("Ooooh, gross — smelly dick!")

And maybe that's not the case here at all. Maybe you are genuinely puzzled how to handle the gent with a bumpy smelly dick and a penchant for bare smelly sex.

Again, thanks to those who had some input to my trepidatious question and concern for the consequences of giving a no reference. It really is helpful in shaping a standard amongst the community.

Also, a big shout out to those who feel they

really have no wish to suggest how you should manage your business.
Originally Posted by JohnnyYanks

and decided to leave any assumptions and opinions where they belong (a very smelly place).

Good day all!

... a big shout out to those who ... decided to leave any assumptions and opinions where they belong (a very smelly place). Originally Posted by Ebony Jasmine Love Austin

Opinions belong in open forum. If you don't want opinions, why start a thread?

Of course, if you weren't really seeking opinions ...