What to do when a non-member provider gets stiffed?

I know I should not involve myself, however, there is a provider whom I've gotten to know quite well. She was stiffed by a Douche Bag Eccie member this morning. You know the old, "I forgot the donation in the car" thing.

She is not an ECCIE provider member but has been reviewed on this site several time with high marks.

Any advice how she should proceed?

She wants to get the word out to other providers but wants to do it the right way.

Originally Posted by Muscleup

If you do not name the fucktard, it never happened.

I know, I know I'm totally wandering into fucktardville.

She asked. I told her I would do a quick question.

I have no other info. I didn't ask and she did not tell me the who, what, where, etc...

But I was hoping for a discount or something a little extra next time. Originally Posted by Muscleup

Most of us have experienced this situation in one form or another. The "I left my money in the car" is one of those situations that just leaves you feeling just horrible.

You didn't wander into "fucktardville" until you wrote that since you offered to "help" that perhaps, you would get a discount or "something a little extra next time."

Generally, when a client is also a friend, we give more of ourselves anyway, at least emotionally.

From my understanding of what you're written, she offers great service and is a great gal anyway, right? Maybe just being helpful to another human can be reward enough.

Back to what happened. She can report it or not. It's up to her. If the guy has done the "I left the funds in the car" bit with her, then he's done it to others.

I'd probably listen to the others here and tell her to report it herself. Or she can write one of the female mods and we can post something for her.

A few years ago, I started asking for the fee upfront after a few guys did the "I left the money in the car" bs to me. I would suggest to her that she start doing the same.

I had even my GOOD clients start to short me ('I'll catch up with you next time') and a few "regulars" were getting a bit shifty with me. So now, even if I adore you, I'll ask for the fee upfront.

She should do the same.

Otherwise, it's still pretty damn uncomfortable when you've standing there, and the guy is taking off his pants and you're asking for money/donation/fee and he tells you "I'll pay you afterwards." Generally, it means that something is up.

And it's really unpleasant to ask someone to leave. Especially if they're half undressed or in the process of getting there. Gotta stay professional, or at least pretend to be calm and in control, and just get the guy out the door without incident.

So get paid, first.

Lecture over.

And it's nice of you to ask for her.

But this business is a steep learning curve. Eccie isn't perfect. Trust me. It's not. But we have a tribe of experienced people here as members, who have a lot to share in terms of information and education, in this sphere.

Couldn't hurt her to join to just have access to the private female-only areas. As an aside, 2 of my closest friends in this world are not members of Eccie and have no desire to be involved with this site, so if she doesn't wish to be, she's in good company.

But doing so would present her with an advantage, I believe. Edited to add: There is no right way to post something. Probably best that she post in the private areas. There is going to always be a chance that her reporting the situation could get back to the guy. Whether that is good or bad, well, it depends. I don't have an answer for that.

Just my thoughts on it.

Best,
Elisabeth

And if she has reviews, and she doesn't already have verifyhim, she needs to get it. She can alert other providers about him there too.