Forced to submit?

boriqua, i may have written about my deliteful sessions w/ those two. i'll search and post later.


justabloke, like Lena wrote, you dont HAVE to be a Dom or a sub to get into those kinds of activities. but the two (or more!) of you should be clear (as much as possible) of the roles, activities, gear, safe words, etc. so that there AREN'T any surprises which could send the entire session down the drain, leaving a bad taste in the mouth for all involved.

as w/ most interpersonal relationships, communication is VERY important!!!

boriqua, i must have written about my deliteful sessions w/ those two on aspd. no reviews here on eccie.
i'll look in my little black book and see if i can find a review or story.

I think this is easy for me. I'm your typical real life ball busting business owner who's lively hood depends on dominance. Playing the submissive in our little hobby world is simply the best stress relief ever. Amazing what an hour or two as a sub can do for me.

Are some people naturally dom with one person and sub with another? Originally Posted by PsychedelicDog

Yes.

Good topic OP! I have found myself in this quandary as well. I've always thought I was submissive and in my hobby dates I would say I am to an extent, maybe vanilla would be a better term for what I am in my hobby dates? However, as I'm becoming older I find myself leaning towards the dominant side. In my personal adventures it turns out I LOVE paddling, flogging, and dressing up men as little sissies. The more I spank and paddle them, the wetter I get. Freaked me out at first, lol. And no, I have had no tramatic issues that lead me to want to truly punish men in any true form and cause actual pain, think lite Dom. I have never gone full sub though. I have the spreader bar and all sorts of restraints but just can't bring myself to let someone use it on me or spank me, it has no appeal to let someone do that to me, so I can't know for sure if I'm sub potential or not considering I haven't tried. The thought of using all that on someone else though sends tingles to my lower regions, hehe. I'm finding that I tend to shy away from anything submissive, I think my true calling is most likely being the Dominant. That fine line between inflicting pleasure and pain on a Sub is exhilarating! Pleasurably torturing a male until he's so riled up and on the verge of exploding then bringing him to heel, then building him back up, and so on is quite the aphrodisiac. In conclusion, I never would have know about my dominate side had someone not wanted me try it on them. Could I do this in hobby dates? No clue, I have yet to try it on a client. I'm afraid I'll suck at it for a true seasoned submissive and having some one leave disappointed in a date isn't something I'm fond of. I need Dom training classes, lol!

While I've never ventured deeply into the BDSM realm, I have seen some who cross over between the communities. Although most who cross over keep the two communities and identities separate, as many in the BDSM "lifestyle" look down upon those of us who pay for play.

If you are truly interested in learning more, get on fetlife.com. Explore their forums just like here.

Also, most major cities have dungeons or groups which do conduct classes to learn how to be a dom and what it means to be a sub, how to flog, etc. Also, true dom / sub relationships are 24/7, not just in the bedroom. For BDSM purists it is indeed a lifestyle, not just an occasional fantasy hour our two.

Why have I not ventured deeply into this? To quote: "Drink deep or taste not the Pierian Spring."

While I've never ventured deeply into the BDSM realm, I have seen some who cross over between the communities. Although most who cross over keep the two communities and identities separate, as many in the BDSM "lifestyle" look down upon those of us who pay for play.

If you are truly interested in learning more, get on fetlife.com. Explore their forums just like here.

Also, most major cities have dungeons or groups which do conduct classes to learn how to be a dom and what it means to be a sub, how to flog, etc. Also, true dom / sub relationships are 24/7, not just in the bedroom. For BDSM purists it is indeed a lifestyle, not just an occasional fantasy hour our two.

Why have I not ventured deeply into this? To quote: "Drink deep or taste not the Pierian Spring." Originally Posted by Woodford

Good point about fantasy.

its very much as you describe. The feelings of anxiety, fear etc are real and important when youre in submission or a slave. it's one of the reasons I am so into it. being able to just let someone else do as they please and letting go.

I'd also like to point out that it's consensual and not force. There is such a thing as consensual non consent.