Thanks for the advice. I want to see this provider because she is very established and well reviewed (this site and others), and offering exactly what I want.
I don't see any ill intent from her, I literally have no references which is what she would prefer using. She just offered work verification as the only other way. I'm confident it's about her safety...
OP, you answered your own questions. Her safety is crucial. If you had references, she wouldn't have any cares for your name and employment information. There is a difference between being discreet and anonymous. Once you've put in the work to cultivate a trustworthy handle and you've got references that can verify that they've had safe sessions with you, things will be a little more easeful. Until then, you are a rando from the internet until you prove that you are not.
As Dallas stated, well established and highly respected providers use work verification as a form of screening. I personally don't call a gent's employer. I don't think there is anything wrong with it, it's just not the format I'm familiar with. Instead I require his work email and then I do a domain name search.