found out shes a retired hobbyist

Retired escorts always come back to the business Originally Posted by Fancylady

No. They most certainly do not always come back.

They dont come back at that age if they have a steady pay check.

I bet she knows how to fuck your brains out.

We have actually talked about it a fair amount about it. The biggest problem is that she acknowledges more of the stigmata about it than i do.

They dont come back at that age if they have a steady pay check.

I bet she knows how to fuck your brains out. Originally Posted by Gotyour6

We do have a hell of a good time

First let me say I have no experience with the hobby and i am not looking. Im here to read and learn. I found out my fience is a retired escort about a year into our relationship. She moved here from a larger city.

We have a very open minded sexual relationship and i find it erotic to talk to her about it. Sometimes she will. Most times it is a taboo subject.

To my question... anybanybody want to chime in and give me insight on how to aproach the subject?

Thank you for having the board here for us sheltered hicks to learn more and gain insight Originally Posted by countrycurious

Countrycurious.........

............brother...... I wouldn't ask her questions your not ready nor may you want to hear answers to. It will play games with your mind......

.............I'd just let it go......








Good luck

Agree with the advice here. If you want to keep your relationship with her, let it go. If and when she wants to talk about it, she will. Pushing her may well push her away.

Agree to not talk about it. The best way to do that is to build new memories to talk about. If you are both willing for an open relationship, bring some other non-threatening folks into it. Go to a swing club in a big city and see what she would like. Be adventurous, but make new memories around sex so you build trust and don't have to dance around the purple dragon in the middle of the room - her escorting.

Agree to not talk about it. The best way to do that is to build new memories to talk about. If you are both willing for an open relationship, bring some other non-threatening folks into it. Go to a swing club in a big city and see what she would like. Be adventurous, but make new memories around sex so you build trust and don't have to dance around the purple dragon in the middle of the room - her escorting. Originally Posted by Woodford

Kind of the aproach i/we take. We are very both open sexually. It bothers me that when we do tallk about it is one extreme or the other. Fun and naughty. Or the switch gets flipped and it is a no emotion commentary.

We are a couple years in to our relationship now I learned early on because an ex of hers messaged me on fb saying i should ask her about "donations" i immediately asked and she was honest with me. And then i promptly messaged the dickhead back and told him not to bother us he couldnt afford the rates. Never heard another thing from him

These people are advising you to go into a marriage with unanswered questions that you clearly want to know. That's a disaster in the making.

Take escort out of the picture. Imagine that your wife to be was just a "loose" or "wild" or "sexually free" woman in the past and didn't disclose that to you coming into the relationship. Would that change your view of her. Shouldn't because it's the past but if it does you might not want to move forward without a better understanding of how loose she was. This situation is no different. Plenty of people claim to not be interested in their SOs "number". If you're ok with that, no biggie. Whether it's 1 or 100 may just be something you wanna prepare yourself for. In her case it's like 1000 but no matter.

Whether it's something she likes to disclose or not, if your are gonna trust one another as spouses should then you need to discuss it. Be prepared for the answers and if you can handle it do if not move on.

Ask her to open up and take in what she says. Decide then what you're gonna do.

I may have missed it but I don't recall the OP using the "M"'word.

I thought he said fiancé, which I understand to be Someone he intends to marry and has proposed to.

Yep, I missed it. You are correct and that puts a very different spin on it.

As long as it's truly in her past I don't see what the big deal is. Obviously you liked this chick enough before you found out. Keep it in the past and don't dwell on it.

We have a very open minded sexual relationship and i find it erotic to talk to her about it. Originally Posted by countrycurious

One thing I would be careful about is making sure you don't fetishize her work. Because, as the insightful gentlemen before have said, it is work. Like all work, there are good days (very, very good days ) and there are bad days (nightmares, believe me). She's been a sex object before and as much fun as that can be (trust me, it can be pretty damn fantastic), it's not healthy in long term relationships, especially not ones as intimate as marriage.

I believe it may be good to do a lot of personal introspection on how you think of her past work (is the idea of her work basically jerk off material? Or do you feel your relationship is incomplete without knowing this piece of her past?) and how important it is for you to know about every detail of it. I mean, if she were an accountant, how much would you honestly care about every single client she ever had? If you do feel you need to know this piece of her past and you know it's uncomfortable for her to talk to you about it, I would advise three things; firstly, take a long, hard () look at your own past and see what skeletons you've got rattling around there that you would feel uncomfortable revealing to your future wife. Baring souls when both parties have something deeply personal to share leaves neither party feeling that they're at a disadvantage or have been left metaphorically naked. Secondly, don't push the issue but make sure she knows it's something you want to have talked out before you tie the knot. And finally, don't have these conversations in bed or in sexual situations, have them in a more neutral setting like over breakfast or coffee or while you're taking a relaxing walk. Her past has to come out on her terms or there will be serious and long lasting repercussions.

Just my very long winded two cents. Hope you guys have a long and fantastic marriage!

One thing I would be careful about is making sure you don't fetishize her work. Because, as the insightful gentlemen before have said, it is work. Like all work, there are good days (very, very good days ) and there are bad days (nightmares, believe me). She's been a sex object before and as much fun as that can be (trust me, it can be pretty damn fantastic), it's not healthy in long term relationships, especially not ones as intimate as marriage.

I believe it may be good to do a lot of personal introspection on how you think of her past work (is the idea of her work basically jerk off material? Or do you feel your relationship is incomplete without knowing this piece of her past?) and how important it is for you to know about every detail of it. I mean, if she were an accountant, how much would you honestly care about every single client she ever had? If you do feel you need to know this piece of her past and you know it's uncomfortable for her to talk to you about it, I would advise three things; firstly, take a long, hard () look at your own past and see what skeletons you've got rattling around there that you would feel uncomfortable revealing to your future wife. Baring souls when both parties have something deeply personal to share leaves neither party feeling that they're at a disadvantage or have been left metaphorically naked. Secondly, don't push the issue but make sure she knows it's something you want to have talked out before you tie the knot. And finally, don't have these conversations in bed or in sexual situations, have them in a more neutral setting like over breakfast or coffee or while you're taking a relaxing walk. Her past has to come out on her terms or there will be serious and long lasting repercussions.

Just my very long winded two cents. Hope you guys have a long and fantastic marriage! Originally Posted by Mina Harker

I do fetish status it slightly. We are all freaks in our own way. When talking about it we us her "nickname" and its in the 3rd person. In my mind its part of why she is who she is today and i try to chip away at the wall that she uses to compartmentalize that part of her life.

As far as the guys saying i dont wanna know or how many blah blah blah.. doesnt bother me in the least. Hell i raised a family with a woman that banged half of town for free behind my back. I have far more respect for the ladies here from what i have read over the past few weeks.