Private messages can be a wash so don't get too beat up over not getting a reply. Some folks delete without reading, others read and forget to reply, and some are discourteous and simply give you a cold shoulder. On here the the latter is pretty rare because manners aside they know it isn't good business. (Please don't forget that this thing of ours is first and foremost about "business". The pleasantries that make you forget about the business part comes afterward.)
If it is an initial contact and you are honestly trying to conduct business rather than bullshit, then try to stick with whatever her preferred contact method might be. PM is rarely the preferred method. Instead it will be phone, e-mail, or contact form on her website or verification site like P411. Be sure to supply her with required screening info. If no screening method is noted in her posts or reviews or you are otherwise unaware of what it might be then politely tell her you didn't notice any listed requirements beforehand but will be happy to supply said screening info upon her reply. Don't be explicit, keep your message on point and courteous. Also be sure to note an exact or at least a good approximate date&time you would like to make the appointment.
If you do all the above and don't hear back then I would probably reach out one more time but after that it is time to move on. Either she's just busy and caught up in something, or they are a rude person you shouldn't be wasting time with her and thus no need to get chuffed about it. She just did you a favor by saving you your hard earned money and instead sending you off to someone worthy of your efforts.
Oh yah. Don't forget to be reasonable about time frames. Don't send a PM or e-mail at 11pm on a Friday and expect to hear back a few hours later by 8am on Saturday. Phone is a little better for time sensitive; e-mail and pm for a more lax time frame. (note to providers: don't post ads out of nowhere and cry foul how no one has called you a few hours later) The majority of registered members and lurkers don't live here. Some providers post ads and thats it. no pm's, no threads, etc.
Kind-of glad this thread was started.....Brilliant as ever, Amber. Hard to beat real world examples. Glad I don't have to muck about with that day in and day out.
Let me show you the mock-up of a few different emails.....(pretty dam close to what my poor assistant has to deal with, about 40 times a day)
...... Originally Posted by allofamber
EDIT:
back to the OP's message... I wholeheartedly agree that a simple reply of "No", "Not interested", "bugger off, shithead" etc. would make life so much simpler. I've only had that unfortunate experience once and it was pretty frustrating to go through the motions of providing well-mannered and professional inquiry and not getting a "piss off" but instead to be left dangling in the wind not knowing whether to move on. Now I know to just move on and not get a bug in my nose over it. It still sucks that is how it has gotta be but so is a lot of other crap in life.
I'm sure most providers receive tons of emails daily making it hard to reply to the actual ones who are respectful and serious.
