Community Help?

Mojojo's Avatar
If she's active here why not just say who she is? Originally Posted by Hercules
That would be step one...if she's a member here I'm sure she can post requesting assistance if she's really that much in need.
BLM69's Avatar
  • BLM69
  • 05-14-2017, 12:24 PM
Be careful of TOO MUCH enabling.
A person can easily find themselves depending on hand outs.

I'm not being a cold bitch ... I've been there myself in the past.
Torre Originally Posted by Torre Tames
Exactly, enabling is supporting any bad habits this provider might have, not trying to be negative but it's hard to believe a provider can go broke even charging cheap rates

Have her dial 211 if she needs emergency food and housing, they will lead her in the right direction
Brandofan's Avatar
Despite having mixed feelings due to not knowing more about the specific situation I have to at least say that it is reassuring to know that we have people like Ze and Analeese in our humble little community. I've never met either of them but I can tell they are people I would enjoy knowing IRL.

Kudos to both of you and I hope this all works out.
~Ze~'s Avatar
  • ~Ze~
  • 05-14-2017, 02:23 PM
I sent her a message last night, and woke up to a blank response from her. I don't know what to think.

I reached out, I worried, I can't do anything unless she wants it to happen.

On a positive note, she appears to have a new number. So, perhaps things are working out, and she is trying to get out of the hole on her own.

Thanks for everyone's concern on all sides of this.

Now, I am going to hit up some garage sales. Toodles.
I agree you can't help someone who doesn't want to help themselves....but it appears like Ze stated...she's trying in some way...even if it's by random posts of information here and there.

Sometimes people are so full of pride they don't know how to ask for help...also if she doesn't feel confident that the response from our community will be one of positivity or ones looking to help (however that may be) she may be very hesitant to post about her situation because it may only bring her down more mentally and emotionally.

As someone who's received help from regular clients in the past and even sometimes complete strangers...I know the feeling all too well...there comes a time though in one's life where you just get fed up with the struggle...maybe she hasn't reached that point yet..maybe there's more to this than she wants us to know.

I'm less willing to give cash.... Because if a person is saying they need a roof, food, a working phone and this is all true...help should be accepted in any form it's offered even if that means paying or buying whatever she needs directly.

My family disowned me for choosing this lifestyle....so the hobby community has become my family and if I can help someone out of a struggle or even make their life or day a little bit better then I'm all for that.

It just seems like the right thing to do.
I saw the post on Craigslist. It got flagged fairly quickly. at the risk of sounding like an uncaring person, I'll say that the provider in question needs help. But not the kind of help like, paying for her room for a few days so she can do sessions, or paying her phone bill so she can maintain a presence on ECCIE and all the other avenues to keep her provider business going, or having a few nice hobbyists schedule sessions to get her over a dry spell or this current bump in the road. Someone mentioned enabling. I think doing anything to keep this person in this business is just enabling her to prolong the inevitable. The help she needs is a hobby intervention, help transitioning out of this hobby and into the next phase of her life. It's very apparent that she's in a hole and just keeps digging deeper and deeper. She needs to put the shovel down, climb out and get out of this lifestyle. I don't know what the answer for her is in regards how to do that. But she's got to exit this hobby. If she's living day to day in hotels/motels at the mercy of "friends"...how long can she continue that? I'm not delusional enough to think, "Oh, just get a job at Walmart and move on." But, she's got to start that transition. Get a job somewhere, only provide as absolutely necessary until she gets on her feet in the civilian world. I'm just worried she's not mentally capable of doing that.
lgbsfu's Avatar
Several years ago I tried helping, did car repairs for free, had pizza delivered even bought food for pets. Never asked for anything in return.
When I requested an appointment no response, never heard from again. Hope she moved on to bigger and better things. Thats why people are wary.
Probably why people are wary. Probably do it again for the right person and circumstance.
motor's Avatar
  • motor
  • 05-15-2017, 07:56 PM
Just remember.....No good deed goes unpunished.
~Ze~'s Avatar
  • ~Ze~
  • 05-15-2017, 08:21 PM
Just remember.....No good deed goes unpunished. Originally Posted by motor
Yeah, like calling for help when someone threatens suicide. -_-
Boltfan's Avatar
Yeah, like calling for help when someone threatens suicide. -_- Originally Posted by ~Ze~
Ummmmmm.
berkleigh's Avatar
Ummmmmm. Originally Posted by Boltfan
My thoughts exactly...
Please have her contact me I will help in any way that I can.
TheEccie214's Avatar
Please have her contact me I will help in any way that I can. Originally Posted by sexysofia
Way to play hero once you see she's not responding.
Sorry I just saw this thread
LovingKayla's Avatar
I've just seen it as well. I'm not even sure who it is that needs help. That will tell a lot. Ze email me if there is an actual need here. I'm not on the board often but I sure don't want a sister to suffer.