Providers that basically don't screen

1. Most don't send me their reviews in their first email. I'm cracking down on this (in terms of just hitting delete instead of sending them a follow-up asking for references) because most of the guys who don't send them initially, just don't have them period.
2. At this point, I have my hands full enough with just screening and getting the women to write me back about the gents. I don't want to get their work info, and try to run their phone number, their name, their email if they don't have references.

I have not run into any issue with references yet when it comes to contacting women...oddly (or not as the issue being discussed addresses) I haven't gotten contacted yet, but then again-- I don't have a ton of vouches just yet, so I assume that will come in time.

What seems to be popular with men contacting me from Eccie but not ON Eccie, is they don't read my profile, don't send references, ask sexually explicit questions, want half-hours or last-minute calls-- things that I don't do. When it comes to guys contacting me on Eccie, they're slightly better but I do get guys who just write and then have very few (if any) posts on Eccie, zero reviews, and are really haphazard about references.

Like one told me, "oh, well I've seen a lot but I don't have any of their info. The only two I can think of are (one I couldn't get ahold of) and (one who's website looked like shit so I actually thought it could be an LE decoy.)" And that, lovely gentlemen out in Eccie-land, makes me look like this and want to go

And if he wasn't LE-affiliated, all I could hear in my head as I was looking at his info was "dur, dur, dur-dur-dur...I'm a dumb-ass and a complete waste of time, and if you do see me it's going to be an awful experience because I just don't fucking get it."

I'm EXTREMELY cautious. Which isn't to say I'm doing anything illegal, because all my reviews are just fantasy play, and men just buy my time, my hot arm-candy presence, and maybe a good shoulder rub and a friendly ear.

That being said-- for the guys that do contact me...I don't know-- they've got some shitty habits they've fallen into and eventually they're going to get popped by LE by saying the wrong things and not actually acting like they can read and understand why references are so important.
shorty's Avatar
Very interesting points SugarBeth. Rather I agree with your method or not, you feel comfortable in your screening process. Thats all the matters as long your through and don't endanger yourself or your date.

Do have a question though. What if the guy doesn't do reviews and doesn't have P411 or a board presence? He does have references but the ladies are hard to get ahold of verify him. Are you going to say NO to him because you didn't have an alternative way of verifing him?
^ of course. Otherwise, what's the point of screening?

That's a bummer for him, but there are enough women out there who are willing to work with him; I don't need to try to accommodate every Joe that comes my way (though to an extent, I'm willing to try.) Likewise, there are many men out there who have become a relatively "known" entity on the boards, have women to vouch for them, and have reviews or have a P411 or similar where I can easily track down the girls to ask them for info. I also try to be very kind and tell them what steps they need to accomplish should they wish to see me in the future when I roll through their town. I start with recommending P411, and tell them that's a good start. And if they don't want to go that route, I suggest starting to go to providers who actually vouch-- and to keep track of their info so we don't run into the situation of "oh, I saw a girl in March. I think her name is Cherry. I don't have any of her contact info, and I can't find her website. Does that count as a reference?"

I'm not newbie-friendly, and because of the way that I screen, this encompasses all men who might have references, but are references that I can't verify.

So I say again, to a provider who does screen, what's the point of references if you cannot verify them?
atlcomedy's Avatar
What seems to be popular with men contacting me from Eccie but not ON Eccie, is they don't read my profile, don't send references, ask sexually explicit questions, want half-hours or last-minute calls-- things that I don't do. When it comes to guys contacting me on Eccie, they're slightly better but I do get guys who just write and then have very few (if any) posts on Eccie, zero reviews, and are really haphazard about references.

. Originally Posted by SugarBeth
Yeah fellas, if you are trying to leverage your eccie membership into relaxed screening/in lieu of other screening, use the PM system! It is the way for her to know it really is you, "littleguywithbigtongue," not an imposter

To the OP, as for the original question about screening, don't be shocked. It is like any number of so-called "poor business practices" or "no no's" that women can't be honest about on a public board because of the damage it would do to their reputation.
SugarBeth. . . You say that eccie men have a hard time passing your screening. Do they have the required references? Do you try to work with them if they don't have the required reference by alternative form of reference check? I know of some of the local ladies won't take touring ladies references and vice versa for touring ladies. Originally Posted by shorty

I don't understand why some ladies wouldn't take a reference from a touring lady.

I screen the lady just as I would my clients.

I've had some guys get pissy with me because I won't take a reference from Jane Doe who has an ad on whatever site, but she doesn't have reviews anywhere nor does she have a website. I don't take references from "fly by night" providers.

If the lady checks out fine, why wouldn't anyone take her reference?


Sugar Beth,

I don't depend on references as my only way of verifying a client. You have to screen your clients the way that you're comfy in doing so. Me, I'll take the newbies who I can verify. If they don't check out, I take a pass and I'm not out anything but a little time. But, if they do check out....I may have just gotten a new regular client.
Many times I have been able to screen a man with just his email address. I will still go through the motions of screening though. I wouldn't want him to think that I wasn't screening. Guys, please be careful with your email addresses. Sometimes they can tell a lot about you.
Yeah fellas, if you are trying to leverage your eccie membership into relaxed screening/in lieu of other screening, use the PM system! It is the way for her to know it really is you, "littleguywithbigtongue," not an imposter Originally Posted by atlcomedy
I couldn't figure out if the mockery was directed at me or the guys. If it's at me, my point was, as someone mentioned previously, someone could say they're on eccie and name a name, but unless they go through the PM system, I'm less likely to believe they are who they say they are (or at least, they are that eccie member.)

I don't depend on references as my only way of verifying a client. You have to screen your clients the way that you're comfy in doing so. Me, I'll take the newbies who I can verify. If they don't check out, I take a pass and I'm not out anything but a little time. But, if they do check out....I may have just gotten a new regular client. Originally Posted by MsElena
I completely agree. I try to be cordial to everyone so that if and when I'm ready to screen that way, I haven't alienated anyone (or at least, as few as possible.)

It's like why I'm only on P411 really at the moment, with occasional eccie business. I don't want to bite off more than I can chew right now. Once I feel more comfortable and inclined to take on more, then I will maybe go that route. All I can say is that, thus far (except for last night with the nc/ns which may have been a genuine okay reason for not making it and not calling) I've garnered really good guys that I hope will see me every time I'm in their area. Everyone has to screen how they're comfortable, because, truly, both parties being comfortable is the key to excellent visits.
SugarBeth, next time you decide to pass through OKC, please let me know. I'd love to be screened by you.

I'm even on P411.
And how many guys screen the ladies?

Of course, the OP on this thread was really talking about his screening process for a lady. If the lady fails to screen, then he has doubts. So, he is doing at least some screening of the lady.

I don't play much anymore, but I would spend several hours screening a lady before I contacted her. Much of it was to read her posts, read other reviews perhaps, make sure we would be compatible, but also making sure she seemed safe (did she screen? was her incall safe? did she have a pimp? did she seem rash, or was she pretty low-key? were pics of her face plastered all over the internet for LE to use on their BOLOs?)

I never used P411, but I guess if she had that, it was a plus as well.
shorty's Avatar
The biggest problem I've heard of from other ladies is getting the ladies to just respond to other ladies request of vertification. You have some ladies that don't like other ladies, so she won't ask that lady for vertification.
The biggest problem I've heard of from other ladies is getting the ladies to just respond to other ladies request of vertification. You have some ladies that don't like other ladies, so she won't ask that lady for vertification. Originally Posted by shorty

Shorty,

That's why ladies need to learn how to work around the provider reference thing.

There's tons of ladies out there who won't give references for various reasons. The biggest reason is because they don't want to lose that client's business. I've always said that if a hobbyist wanted to stick with just one woman, he'd stick with his wife.

We providers don't have any say so in who a hobbyist can or can't see.
KlassyKelliAnn's Avatar
If I were a regular hobbyist, I would personally want to see someone who screened clients and screened them very well and for a number of reasons.

A lady who doesnt screen at all gambles not only with her business but also her life as she neglects her safety.

A lady who doesnt screen leaves herself vunerable to being busted by Uncle Leo.

A lady who doesnt screen puts her clients in jeopardy by way of safety, LE, and more.

A lady who doesnt screen will never be in control of the situation she puts herself into. As a business owner in a dangerous world, one MUST always be in control.

A lady who doesnt screen is more apt to be unorganized and almost 30-40% of the time (sometimes more) is one who gives poor service whether it is BCD, appointment handling, NC/NS, etc.

A lady who doesnt screen proves to be not only unprofessional but also inconsiderate to herself as well as her clients.

A lady who doesnt screen cannot help to ensure your safety as a client if she cannot even make the attempts to ensure her own. You have to watch your back as a hobbyist- always- but more so with someone like this.

A lady who doesnt screen- compacted with all the above- is more likely to have a pimp hiding somewhere to ensure safety as she is more apt to think that is the only way to be protected fully.

A lady who doesnt screen shows no real credibility, reliability or concern for herself or others.

A lady who doesnt screen has less respect for herself than a lady who does screen.

A lady who doesnt screen complains alot and has more alerts posted than those who do screen because she is more often screwed by bad clients.

A lady who doesnt screen at all is very stupid.

KKA
XOXO
Naomi4u's Avatar
If I were a regular hobbyist, I would personally want to see someone who screened clients and screened them very well and for a number of reasons.

A lady who doesnt screen at all gambles not only with her business but also her life as she neglects her safety.

A lady who doesnt screen leaves herself vunerable to being busted by Uncle Leo.

A lady who doesnt screen puts her clients in jeopardy by way of safety, LE, and more.

A lady who doesnt screen will never be in control of the situation she puts herself into. As a business owner in a dangerous world, one MUST always be in control.

A lady who doesnt screen is more apt to be unorganized and almost 30-40% of the time (sometimes more) is one who gives poor service whether it is BCD, appointment handling, NC/NS, etc.

A lady who doesnt screen proves to be not only unprofessional but also inconsiderate to herself as well as her clients.

A lady who doesnt screen cannot help to ensure your safety as a client if she cannot even make the attempts to ensure her own. You have to watch your back as a hobbyist- always- but more so with someone like this.

A lady who doesnt screen- compacted with all the above- is more likely to have a pimp hiding somewhere to ensure safety as she is more apt to think that is the only way to be protected fully.

A lady who doesnt screen at all is very stupid.

KKA
XOXO Originally Posted by KlassyKelliAnn
You said that well KKA!
Naomi4u's Avatar
So ladies that don't answer reference checks....

What if you saw a guy and he was a little pushy. Come two months later he decided to see a another lady. The night before their date she writes you asking you for a reference but you don't answer. Another lady answers her reference request with just "Yeah he's ok." and that's it. During the date he rapes the girl. Wouldn't you feel a bit guilty? I know I would.

There are soo many hobbyists out there and soo many ways to generate business. I wasn't afraid of losing one or even two clients. If a guy was a little pushy with me, I would tell the lady that asked for a reference check. If he tried to negotiate my rate during the date.. I would tell the lady that asked for a reference check. I don't understand why a lady wouldn't help keep help another lady out/ keep another lady safe. I just don't get that.

Honestly.. I would think she's just spiteful or maybe she's jealous and nothing more. I would never put a hobbyist before another lady when it comes to safety. Men are bigger and stronger than us and can cause a lot more harm than we can.