I guess that is kind of my point.
I'm not a guy, so I don't know. Can you feel awkward, non-reactive, but on the verge of an orgasm to where you have to ask a provider to slow down?
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Originally Posted by heidilynnla
Never ever, ever. I take a long time to pop, but remain in a constant state of arousal and very sensitive.
I'm going to admit something here that I might get backlash for. I'm sure this goes both ways.
Every guy is different and has his own stimuli. Some like soft, some like friction, some like kissing massage, etc. I react to his body language and or verbalization to cater to his particular needs. Every once in a while I run into a very quiet, completely non-reactive client. Since I don't like to rush anyone, I react to a gentleman's body language or "moans". If he is totally quiet, no body reactions then suddenly asks me to stop because he is about to cum...I get stumped.
It's so hard to move forward at this point. I realize I am supposed to be the "pro" here, but I am not psychic either. I am sure some hobbyists have occassionaly had similar reactions during DATY.
I welcome opinions and hope someone may find this informative from a provider's POV. Any quiet hobbyists have feedback for me?
Originally Posted by heidilynnla
non-reactive client: No news is good news.... go faster!
suddenly asks me to stop: To fast, slow down.. I'm Cummmmmmming!
Just saying... I think! YMMV as always!
I guess I definitely fit into the category being described here. I'm not very responsive, and I warn a lady just before I cum (usually during BBBJ just so I don't "surprise" her). There's nothing to be stumped about nor is there any reason to question your "ability". That's just the way some of us guys are. I've had sessions where I am perfectly comfortable laying there and having a lady just suck me off multiple times with very little reaction from me. That's my personality-- especially when I am with a lady for the first time. I will get more reactive and "engaged" on subsequent dates. For me, I don't like being too vocal b/c it runs the risk of attracting unwanted attention, so the setting also plays a factor in it for me.
I wouldn't worry about it that much. It's probably not that he wasn't enjoying himself. I been with others like this. I myself am not very vocal to be honest, but I am enjoying it. For me personally, I'm not overly vocal for fear of being laughed at hehe, it embarrasses me somewhat I think.
I'm going to admit something here that I might get backlash for. I'm sure this goes both ways.
Every guy is different and has his own stimuli. Some like soft, some like friction, some like kissing massage, etc. I react to his body language and or verbalization to cater to his particular needs. Every once in a while I run into a very quiet, completely non-reactive client. Since I don't like to rush anyone, I react to a gentleman's body language or "moans". If he is totally quiet, no body reactions then suddenly asks me to stop because he is about to cum...I get stumped.
It's so hard to move forward at this point. I realize I am supposed to be the "pro" here, but I am not psychic either. I am sure some hobbyists have occassionaly had similar reactions during DATY.
I welcome opinions and hope someone may find this informative from a provider's POV. Any quiet hobbyists have feedback for me?
Originally Posted by heidilynnla
I would like to recommend / suggest something. I have had providers hum while administering BBBJ and CBJ. Ask around... the vibration drives us crazy! And today would be a great day to try it out. Memorial Day! How about the "Star Spangled Banner" I bet you never get to the rockets red glare and next thing you know, you'll have bombs bursting in air!
I am naturally shy, and I share LAVixian's fear of being laughed at, and this is why even though I am not completely silent, I am not overly vocal during a session. But I have found that I am much more vocal after the first visit, when I become a bit more comfortable with a provider.
I think I was with a provider a week or so ago who would have the same concerns as the OP about me. She completely blew my mind during that session, but I didn't express myself vocally very much. She kept asking me what I liked and if I was enjoying myself, but I couldn't manage to let go and voice the very real pleasure I was experiencing.
I can guarantee that the enjoyment of the client isn't always in direct proportion to his vocal reaction, but I will try to make it known to this lady how much I like what she does in our next encounter.
I realize that some things, ahem, come more easily to some people than to others, communication included. But one of the key elements to good love making is signaling your partner in one form or another. If you're uncomfortable vocalizing, then something else can take its place--sharp intakes of breath, touching your partner in certain ways (with their consent of course), grabbing sheets, breaking wind a set number of times (OK, the last suggestion isn't much, I'll grant you.) Let him or her know ahead of time what to look or listen for.
Heidi, if you do your best to ask for such signals, and the hobbyist gives you nothing to work with, then they have no beef if just before the ahppy ending arrives you/they can't reverse course successfully. As one of my first lovers--this is long before the Hobby--said, "I'm good but I can't read minds."
I guess I definitely fit into the category being described here. I'm not very responsive, and I warn a lady just before I cum (usually during BBBJ just so I don't "surprise" her). There's nothing to be stumped about nor is there any reason to question your "ability". That's just the way some of us guys are. I've had sessions where I am perfectly comfortable laying there and having a lady just suck me off multiple times with very little reaction from me. That's my personality-- especially when I am with a lady for the first time. I will get more reactive and "engaged" on subsequent dates. For me, I don't like being too vocal b/c it runs the risk of attracting unwanted attention, so the setting also plays a factor in it for me.
Originally Posted by Cpalmson
What he said.
It could also be that the guy is hard to make cum and he's concentrating on trying to cum. I wouldn't worry about it Heidi!!
I'm going to admit something here that I might get backlash for. I'm sure this goes both ways.
Every guy is different and has his own stimuli. Some like soft, some like friction, some like kissing massage, etc. I react to his body language and or verbalization to cater to his particular needs. Every once in a while I run into a very quiet, completely non-reactive client. Since I don't like to rush anyone, I react to a gentleman's body language or "moans". If he is totally quiet, no body reactions then suddenly asks me to stop because he is about to cum...I get stumped.
It's so hard to move forward at this point. I realize I am supposed to be the "pro" here, but I am not psychic either. I am sure some hobbyists have occassionaly had similar reactions during DATY.
I welcome opinions and hope someone may find this informative from a provider's POV. Any quiet hobbyists have feedback for me?
Originally Posted by heidilynnla
My suggestion would be to add some dirty talk if your comfortable with that. I've been told at times I cum quietly. It has never really been a problem I think most women kinda get the idea from body langauge and breathing heavy that you busted a nut.
I am quiet and shy in normal life, but when I am making love, the ladies say I get loud, sometimes too loud. I can't keep from moaning with an activity that is so wonderful!! But sometimes I still ask the lady to slow down or stop for a short while. The longer I can hold off cumming, the better the cum feels and the more tension is released. Multiple pops are getting kind of rare for me to achieve anymore. I have never connected asking a woman to slow down with any negativity about her reading me. It is simply part of our communication.
I'm pretty much that way and have been trying to work on it. I am even mostly silent during orgasm. Being very introverted is extremely difficult...it takes a lot to even contact a provider, even on subsequent visits, let alone being open enough to communicate my desires.
Some signals are even taken the wrong way, being as nervous as I am, I tend to start breathing hard and not be near orgasm. Anxiety is a bitch, lol. I don't know a solution other than more visiting to try to break down the walls, I guess.
Edit: I do try to make it known to the provider beforehand that I am introverted, have it in my p411 profile, but I'm sure it's not thought it's that bad until I get to the appointment.
I like it when we are both vocal. I do not like it when it sounds rehearsed and fake.
I like it when we are both vocal. I do not like it when it sounds rehearsed and fake.
Originally Posted by burkalini
Do you know why girls fake orgasms? They think we care!
I did once have a gal who got unbelievably vocal and started screaming. Scared the crap out of me. Turns out she had long hair and in Mich with each thrust I all but hurt her neck as my elbow had pinned a bunch of her hair. Woke up everyone in the cabin!
I have a repeat client who makes no noises or indications whether he is enjoying it not.
I thought I would never hear from him again, but he has seen me 5 times now.
I still throws me off because I too go off of those clues to make sure someone is enjoying themselves.
