Has anyone ever found out you are a provider or were one?

sofiaofhouston's Avatar
I don't think anyone has outed anyone to the police. At least I would hope not. My employer would probably laugh it off.

Vivian is out and in her home country! It seems I was the only one to put money on her books and kept contact with her. Accusations don't make things true.

Anyway I wonder what people's experiences have been and how people have dealt with it if it has happened. I think Spirit mentioned that he had a friend who a provider put on an alert list and he lost a great deal. Those list can do a great deal of damage to hobbyist who don't deserve it and really did not do anything alert worthy.

I think the providers can try and place the blame on an old boyfriend or something and hopefully that works for them. I think the men have it the hardest.
[QUOTE=sharkie;1341755]
My Grandfather who raised me since birth found out. And disowned me. Said i would End up just like my mother. If not worse: she passed away last year. I disagree with him since I am taking different paths.

Did your grandfather find out accidentally or did someone tell him? People who "out" others really bother me. They just can't live with this bit of information. They know by sharing it that someone's going to suffer. Yuck. Originally Posted by rubyred

somebody outed me...most likely my little brother, (who is 16 and very close to my grandpa)....who said "too much" to him about me stripping..the stripping part i didnt care if he found out about..Because of the stripping though, i guess it led him to use the internet...and low and behold...there i was.. DAMMIT BACKPAGE.. this was last year...no more backpage ever since.



Yeah i hate it when people out people. If its going to affect THAT persons life negatively by sharing the info about them, then DONT SHARE IT.
My ads/ my name/ myself is all out there...but i don't really have a close family and as far as most of my close friends or contacts go- i'm pretty much an open book as far as me being who i am (whoever that may be at the time..wink)

Now, don't get me wrong, i don't mean i put my business out there for everyone and of course there are times and social situations where I meet someone new (in a non hobby atmosphere) or if i'm meeting or socializing with friends or associates/family of those close to me where i would not even engage in conversation that would Hint about my provider life, and when asked what i do for work ...freelance webdesigner/marketer/ etc etc... (I am NOT the type to feel ashamed of who I am or how i Live, but at the same time I would not want to make anyone else feel uncomfortable or give up information that's really not relevant to the public)
bbkid's Avatar
  • bbkid
  • 06-03-2011, 06:51 AM
A most excellent post, bbs. Well stated.
My wife's past activities have never bothered me personally. However, she is sensitive about family or my business associates knowing.

Among ourselves she talks about it freely and has no problem if I use a provider on business trips.

In her case, she worked for an agency and, earlier on, posed for some magazines. She believes that if someone found anything they may try to blackmail her. She wants her daughter to finish college and not be uncomfortable with her mother's activities. She also believes that my business associates may look at us differently. Since her clients were principally visiting business executives, she is very worried that one of them will be the ultimate problem.

From my perspective, she makes an excellent wife. Her work taught her a lot about husbands discontent with their wives. She is a great companion and sexmate.
<...she makes an excellent wife. Her work taught her a lot about husbands discontent with their wives. She is a great companion and sexmate. >

If only some woman with that knowledge and experience could get on Oprah!!
My X-partner Beth often tells the story of setting an appointment with a client, and when she answers the door, they realize they were in church choir together. They talked about it, and he was a long time client and friend. To the day, she does civilian work for him. On a more human note. After "Black Tuesday", we were broke, just hanging on. With Xmas coming up we were poor as church mice. We came home late one night, house and lights completely dark. We looked and saw something at the front door. It was a Christmas gift from him. IT WAS THE ONLY CHRISTMAS PRESENT THAT WE HAD THAT YEAR. Thank you so much "Singer Bobby." I also have one of the greatest stories about his experience at Valhalla one night, that I'll have to tell in the appropriate thread.
Thanks again, SB.
Billy
The Wildflower Group
The people that really matter to me already know what I do, including my dad. We have a great relationship and he loves me no matter what I choose to do. I really would not care what anybody else thinks anyways.
As a male have your family, friends, co-workers found out? Do you get a high 5, or criticism? Originally Posted by sofiaofhouston
I told one brother; he has commented neither positively nor negatively.

The brother whom I did not tell is the dork who spent an entire career at Procter & Gamble, and never knew who Marilyn Chambers was until I told him.

(For any young whippersnappers reading this -- Marilyn Chambers was the model for the fresh-faced mother, with cooing infant, depicted in the early 1970's on boxes of P&G's Ivory Snow laundry detergent. P&G execs revoked her contract upon discovering, to their shock, that Marilyn was also the star of the porn film, Behind the Green Door.)

A girlfriend of mine's neighbor put up a bogus ad on CL with her real name and address, and had her number as the local police station (we live in Dallas, and she lives in a suburb of Dallas, and the police number she listed was the suburb police's number). No one but she and I knew of what she was doing, but she let the neighbor come over and help her with an issue with her email, and she saw all the escort references in her inbox. Two days later, we found the ad and had it removed.