Mentally is where I struggle the most with this business as I am not one for greed, attention etc. There is nothing lacking in my civie life that makes me lust for that need for approval, nor do I find much inspiration in the hobby. I have been fortunate to meet some wonderful men who have helped me more than I could ever say, and for that I am thankful. OTOH there have been some serious a holes who just make you wonder who the real wh*re is.
Very intuitive Trekker...was thinking of all those things in my mind as I wrote that. Also, I don't want my child to get the idea that shacking up with a different guy every year is what I want for her. I try to live by example rather than preaching, so I just pray she never gets wind of what I am doing now. I think I would have to be honest with her about my reasons, but I would never want this for her. I don't think many of you would ever want this life for your daughter either knowing just what men are thinking and doing to them.
I also believe in that old saying, "Why buy the cow if you are getting the milk for free." It takes away the whole fantasy and excitement about getting married, buying a home together, picking out decor etc. I want that fantasy and I will not settle for less. I won't die if I am alone for a while
