Who is actually "COOL WITH" (and can handle) having a Provider as an S.O.?

I have been involved with providers before, as escorts and dancers. It could be troubling, but watching other guys try to get what I had as dancers was pretty cool. Then it would start to mess with my mind.

It all depends on how secure and confident we both are with the "real relationship" between us apart from her business. If everything works, and I know they don't always, but most of the time, then I would have not problem with her working the business.

And no I would not use the hobby as a weapon when we argued, and of course like all couples we would. Originally Posted by elgato111

iITHINK YOU WOULD HAVE TO BE REALLY ASSURED OF YOURSELF; LOOKS, PROWESS AND SOMEWHAT VAIN FOR IT TO WORK. IF NOT YOU WOULD ALWAYS WONDER , WAS HE AS GOOD AS ME!

The more significant you want to be, the more I would want exclusivity in return.

I agree with you B_D_M

Then it would start to mess with my mind

Red Tex, I can see where that would happen ...Both ways (guilt).

Boltfan - You are a rare breed. I'm so glad that you 2 are making it work and having a wonderful time doing so. I think that is so awesome. She is definitely a lucky girl to have you.

I don't think I could handle it. I'm a hypocrite that way

The Bizz - yeah, I hear ya. SaME here. I wish I weren't a hypocrite like that.

I sometimes think that monogamy is extinct these days, so why not look to date someone who's cool with me being a Provider ...I dunno.

But on the flip-side I've seen a cpl of my closest Provider friend's relationships crumble because of it...(He thought is was cool at first- but once the 'honeymoon phase' was over he couldn't handle the fact that other men were intimate with her. I mean, duh, that's how HE met her.)

I was just curious what you guys (and girls) thought.
So PMDelites, I don't consider this to be a threAD...

I'm cool with it, especially if there's a remote chance I might get to watch her with someone else every now and then...hehehe. Just hearing my own little provider/S.O. tell me about her sessions every now and then would turn me on in a big way. Verbally getting those details, and knowing they're real, is more of turn-on to me than reading those good yet probably fake Penthouse Forum stories. This link will probably hint as to why that would work for me.

Swingers often make rules before they start their type of lifestyle, and that seems to work for some of them (if everyone's head is on right). Based on that, it might be best to have some guidelines agreed to by both parties upfront, so as to minimize and hopefully eliminate any issues. Open and honest communication would likely be important for it to work. For me, concerns might arise if the following were to occur...

1. Her doing things with clients she would never do with me (greek..if she does that, swallowing, 3 ways, etc).

2. Being a provider can't start seriously effecting her sexual desire for me. Let's say she is having appts everyday, and she starts making more and more excuses all the time about not wanting to have sex with me, and that becomes a pattern. Knowing she's having sex with others, but is starting to want it less with me all the time, would be something we'd need to address.

3. Also any of the following would likely be a concern if they started to occur...her not initiating sex as much as she use too (meaning I'm always the one starting it), or her not being into it and and it's getting to where I'm giving too much direction about what I wished she would do next (her being too passive or lazy)

Other than that, feed me, fuck me, don't nag or be too much of a pest, and I'm down with it, lol.

I am ok with it, and I have a few of you ladies in mind!!

I am at age where being open minded is the best course action, but there would have to be love between us

I don't think it would bother me as long as we both had the same rules for each other. As long as each person has the same expectations things should be fine. Things need to be clearly drawn in the sand though.

you're my hero i wish ALL guys were like that! Originally Posted by Alyssa Nicole

Alyssa:
Will you marry me?

*sigh*

I really wish I could meet someone who was actually okay with this....

...stilll searching....

I've been thru one Moderator, two arrangements, one husband & one College Boyfriend!

None could handle "this" or me...

<-----Currently accepting Applications

It wouldn't bother me. Human nature shows it's very difficult to only have sex with one partner. If she is enjoying herself and making a living doing it, then I'm all for it.

Human nature shows it's very difficult to only have sex with one partner. If she is enjoying herself and making a living doing it, then I'm all for it. Originally Posted by still-asleep

+1, you nailed it perfectly. I was thinking the same thing earlier but your words are more concise.

Another thing I was thinking about earlier but didn't add...if I'm a hobbyist, what right would I have to be upset she's a provider?

I apologize in advance since this will come across as bragging however it is what it is. A long time ago dated couple of porn stars, more recently models and dancers. It was/is an incredible rush knowing that for whatever reason even if for a brief time there was/is this emotional connection that went beyond sex. You’re a couple that is connected you worry, care, laugh, get mad, make love and have fun their job just doesn’t impact your thinking when your that into each other.

Yet, if I am being honest there is this turn on that I am with this amazing beautiful women and we have a connection yet when she is with other men for her it is just a performance. Yes at times the connection with a client might be a little deeper than just a performance but I have always been of the mindset that I don’t think just one man can satisfy his SO and vice a versa.

Great question, and answers have been predictable. I believe it really depends on the personalities and ... you have to trust and respect each other, and know that she (or he) is coming home to you. Personally, I do not think I'd have any issues with it ... I had a GF in college that was pretty much a party girl ... I knew she had a thing for giving guys BJ's, and knew she'd played with a couple of guys in my dorm, while we were dating ... in the end, I knew she was having fun and I also knew that no matter who or when, she'd be crawling in bed next to me for the rest of the night (ok, there were a couple of nights she did not come home until later the next morning).

Now? I'd be open to the opportunity ... just need to ask the SO if it is okay that I have another SO that just happens to be the reason I am not home a night or two a week ... I'll let you know how that turns out!

I do have several Providers in mind ... just don't think they know it, yet!

I could definitely be cool with it. Years ago dated a girl and found out some time later that she was providing. I found it to be a big turn-on. I knew it was work for her, but that she enjoyed the attention, the money and the connection with her work just as many people enjoy helping the people they help in their professions.

Now, decades later, I find the hotwife fetish to be extremely hot. The thought of my SO being on a date, at a hotel or even in the next room with the door locked and having incredible sex makes me horny beyond words.

I don't find the cuckold/creampie/cum eating/forced bi exciting and have no interest in it, but if my SO became a hotwife and took lovers, I'd be really turned on. I could even enjoy a bit of the humiliation/orgasm control/submissive husband fantasy.

However, here's a question or two for the providers. Do you want your ideal SO to simply be cool with you providing? Are you cool with him possibly being turned on by your providing? If he was turned on by your providing, wanted you to make videotapes or audiotapes, wanted to listen in the next room, wanted to watch, wanted you to take lovers outside of providing and live a hotwife lifestyle, would you be interested in him or would you think he's a creepy pervert?

I have dated a provider, and I was actually OK with it, but it ultimately depends on what the two want. I'd be OK with it, but there is a level of relationship at which I know I personally need monogamy. It's why I don't hobby when I'm in a serious relationship.

The important thing here is how much of a discount would I get.

Seriously, having a SO as provider, the first thought that came to my mind was could I handle worrying about her safety.
As for her being with other guys, well, I would like to think the relationship is strong enough it wouldn't matter. Our culture is such that we have been brainwashed (for lack of a better term) into the notion that anything other than a monogamous relationship is amoral. Thats a shame in my opinion. If two people meet and are extremely attracted to one another why not take it to the ultimate level even if it is a brief encounter. If she is happy being a provider of pleasure, why not? A commitment to a SO is so very much more than a sexual commitment.

I think the challenge is if the SO is a provider, could the both of us continue to have the deep meaningful relationship without the jealousy or feelings of guilt that can eat away at the core reason we committed to each other from the very beginning.
Not to own one another, but to share our lives with one another.

So, maybe one day, this amoral jackass will meet that one amoral lady to spend the rest of our relatively short time we have.

Just an opinion
Clouddancer