Sub / Dom Tips

So the key to being a dom is being good at dirty talk? And having some forceful sexual sex? Not hurting but in the realm of what they like. ... Originally Posted by Thatguy360

thatguy, i suggest you re-read Zena’s, Matt’s and Alan’s posts. being a dom is much more than dirty talk & forceful consensual sex (and some might saw it’s neither of those).
there is dominant sex and there is being a Dominant partner. D may have some d qualities, but d is definitely not being a D.

So my next question is how do you set this up with a provider? Do you on a bunch and ask a bunch of questions? I feel like if what till the session then you waste all your time discussing things and what if she isn’t into it? ... Or is this something you set up with a regular girl to make it more authentic. Any tips for more dirty talkscenarios or fav saying/ phrases would be nice to. Originally Posted by Thatguy360

first, learn what being a Dominant is (see my reply above).
then look for providers who openly state that they’re a submissive or are into the sub personna/lifestyle.
i would not book w/ a provider and hope or spend paid time seeing if she’s into this.
you could visit w/ a provider a bunch and then find out if she’s into it. if she is, there ya go. if not, that might sour the relationship you’ve got and she says “so sorry charlie, dont call me again.”

or go into the D/s world and look for an s there.

good luck!

Fun thread!

I don't do much D/s play with inside the hobby, but when I have it has been with a couple of long time regulars. I like being told very specific instructions to follow and having some form of punishment such as a spanking if I make a mistake. For example, I can be told to wait in a certain a position, how to wear my hair and clothes (or not), leave the key under the mat and wait for 'Sir'. Super hot! The tension of waiting drives me crazy.

I hope that is helpful.

And yes, safe words....

If you're going to feel your partners breast, there are really two ways of doing it. If it's your girlfriend typically you gently caress her breast. If it's your sub girl you grab it firmly, and maybe add a little twist or tweak of the nipple. Everything you would normally do it just a little bit different.

And if your girl is thinking in her head "ouch, that kinda hurt" then she's not your sub girl. If you find that makes her wet, then she is.

I'm learning as I'm going....

@juggernaut6

Have you asked her to write her fantasies to you or journal?

One lady I know wanted an intense spanking, hard impact, pinching, clamps, painful physical experience, all mixed up and combined with lots of fu-----, su-----, and other "feel good" play while she was bound. She wanted her limits really pushed hard on the physical; to be made to cry.

Since I had not done that at all on the top or bottom (and I tend more to sub anyway) and I am far from a masochist, this was new to me. A safe word or set of safe words, did not seem enough to me.

So, with the safe words still in hand, I told her at the beginning of our play "I need your words tonight. So, when things are getting intense you can beg me. Don't beg me to stop, because if we stop we stop. You can beg me to do something else. If I am whipping your pussy and you can't take much more, you can beg me to fuck it instead. If I am spanking, you can beg to such my cock. Don't beg me to stop what I am doing. Beg for something I will like.If you beg hard enough, you might get it." [ Or something similar-- Its been awhile]

It worked great because I was getting constant verbal feedback with the physical. The verbal feedback was not just words, but tone, speed, intensity. Everything I needed to really push her limits. This went on for a couple of hours, me switching up things as needed. Play time was awesome. I think it took both of us a couple of days to really come down from the intensity.

I had a partner bring home a riding crop and introduced me to crop play. Well being a Texan and knowing the sting those crops can deliver I was very hesitant to play that game. I was content with belt play, a few minor stripes left with limited pain the next day.

After weeks of playing with that crop she could take a good lick. She liked the pinpoint sting on different parts of that big white creamy ass. Never once cried, her eyes would water but she never cried.

Me and one of my girls text fantasies back and forth, then try to act on them in person.

One sub girl had a fantasy about a massage that gets a little bit handsy, and we went with that instead of our usual sub play.

Would love more examples in this thread of what people like!