Ways to let them down easy....

Sometimes I will send a response to an ISO saying something like "I'm not your type, but may I suggest so and so" and can't even get a thank you lol. Like, is it really that hard to say thanks? Originally Posted by hotlips_houlihan

sadly, no it is not that hard to say "thanks"
a sign of the times.
People don't return phone calls or texts or emails if they don't feel like it, people don't say thank you, or you're welcome, or please.


masturbation material Hotlips? I got some for you.

I'll be the first to say I have to be one of the worst at not getting back to people who PM me. I try to but, sometimes I'll read it and then reply later. Then time gets away and I forget about the PM. I am getting better at it. I just don't place it as high on my priority list as some other things.

Meg
I think sometimes it is hard to tell if your joking around or being serious. Don't get wrong I like that but I'm just saying others may see it that way as well.

"Sorry, not my type" is perfectly acceptable. "Sorry, not interested" is as well. But it really leaves you wondering when a provider posts an add stating "Ask me about my specials!" and then ignores a PM while continuing to respond to ISO's and post more adds.

I'm a big boy and can handle the disappointment, just say "no thanks" but don't leave me wondering if I've inadvertently pissed you off. (Pissing you off on purpose if different, of course ;-)

I don't like the ask for my specials either. I really don't like to ask. It just seems bad especially if it's the first contact. I prefer to just look at P411 or Showcase for information. Sorry HH didn't mean to get off track.

I occasionally send out ISOs, and sometimes I get responses that don't meet the requirements I listed (wrong age, size, hair color, ethnic background, etc.). I respond to them anyway, and I usually say something like:

"Thanks so much for taking the time to respond to my quest. I looking for a different fantasy this time, but I cycle through a lot of fantasies, and I'm sure I'll get to your type soon. When I do, you're first on my list."

Meg
I think sometimes it is hard to tell if your joking around or being serious. Don't get wrong I like that but I'm just saying others may see it that way as well. Originally Posted by Bloodhound

How could responding to an ISO via PM saying I'm available or saying try so and so be joking around? Or are you referring to my "board persona?" Even so, with the board persona (which is sooo not me face-to-face lol), a simple "no thanks" is a good enough response I think. I have had guys send me messages and say "thanks but I'm afraid you will beat me up" and I just crack up laughing. At least they responded! I had one say he didn't think we would be a good match because he thought the "board" me was the "real" me. I can see where one would think that and I respected him for his honesty and didn't push. But at least he responded. That level of respect is all that is needed.

I don't like the ask for my specials either. I really don't like to ask. It just seems bad especially if it's the first contact. I prefer to just look at P411 or Showcase for information. Sorry HH didn't mean to get off track. Originally Posted by PoppyToyota

But with the new "board rules" it's kind of hard to not have to ask lol.

Meg

The flip-side happens with providers. It's not just one way. I really don't care if someone ignores a request of mine. If I don't get a near immediate answer, I simply move on. I guess I just don't feel a "stranger" owes me anything if they haven't already agreed to owe me something either by verbal consent or action.

The flip-side happens with providers. Originally Posted by johnnylongcaulking

And that is being addressed here

I really don't care if someone ignores a request of mine. If I don't get a near immediate answer, I simply move on. Originally Posted by johnnylongcaulking

But that's just it....ladies are not ignoring a request. We are responding to posted requests in PM. It's that response that is being ignored. Unlike men who have a plethora of ladies to choose from, we women do not have that luxury. Guys can just move on to the next lady or keep your money and go have a burger and a beer. Why not give the lady the option to move to the next ISO or request? The lack of response in a timely manner could cause us to miss out-or double book-or lots of other scenarios. I think that is what some men don't realize-or they don't really care.

Ladies are damned if we do, damned if we don't. Here is a scenario: Say we respond to 2 ISOs. The 2nd one gets back to us within a reasonable amount of time so we schedule. A little bit later, the first guy responds. You tell him you already have plans. Then he gets nasty and responds with the "why the hell did you bother to respond then" type PM. Now he's mad and having to find Plan B and talks about you being unreliable to his friends, etc. etc.

Here's another scenario. A lady responds to an ISO. She lets a reasonable amount of time go by. He read the message, he must not be interested. She really needed that appointment but hey, it's business, right? So she decides it's a Bon Bon and movie night. Hops in the shower, washes off her makeup, washes her hair, puts on her jammies. BAM! There's that PM...he can be there in 20 minutes. Well damn....now she has to turn him down because she can't be ready in 20 mins. Once again, he's mad, she's mad. But he has plan B to turn to. She has her Bon Bon's.

Maybe it's just me, but I don't live by the "first come, first served" mindset. I'm more about quality of companion. Maybe I need to change business models lol.

Meg

No reply = no respect. Lie = no respect. Reply and tell the truth, we're all grown ups here, right?

ISO's seem inherently flawed to me.

If the poster isn't extremely precise on what type of provider he is looking for it's a recipe for time waste and hurt feelings. And if he knows exactly what he wants, he should just PM the ladies who fit the bill.

Just my opinion of course.

Guys can just move on to the next lady or keep your money and go have a burger and a beer. Why not give the lady the option to move to the next ISO or request? Originally Posted by hotlips_houlihan

Until you actually schedule with someone or make a commitment to them, you do not owe them your time so you should proceed to the "next ISO or request" and fill up your dance card as best you can. If you only put your eggs in one basket, you run the risk of losing them all if you drop it or someone else bumps it from you. You can respond to an ISO and still move onto the next ISO or request as long as you don't say something like, "I can be there by such and such time." Instead, you could simply say in the PM, "Here's my number, call me if you're interested in setting something up and I'll schedule you at the next available free time I have." You owe nothing to someone until you make a commitment to them. Let the customer's beat down your door and compete for your time. If they aren't beating down your door, you may have other problems such as a "perceived" attitude by your potential clientele or your prices may be too high for the clientele you are trying to attract. Or your services may not be what they desire. Bottom line, for the right price, most anything will sell. I'm not suggesting you value your time less or more. I'm simply re-stating a known fact in most markets. A thing for sale will sell quickly if its priced attractively. Being priced attractively unfortunately doesn't always equal "fair market value" due to available supply of competing products or services. None of this is mean to offend you. If I have offended you, I apologize.

I'm not saying anybody owes anybody anything. But there is still nothing wrong with being courteous and sending a thanks but no thanks message. It's simple-one would think. Like I said, I don't have the "let me hurry up and get as many lined up as I can" mentality. To "me" it's courteous to give the gentleman an ample amount of time to reply to my response instead of trying to do a cattle call and hoard in as many as I can. But perhaps that is my downfall. And by the way....this thread is not about "me" per se....I used me as an example but it's how many ladies feel about this situation-we talk just like guys do. This isn't just "my" problem. So no offense taken. And BTW....Dallas isn't "most markets."

Meg

Meg
I think sometimes it is hard to tell if your joking around or being serious. Don't get wrong I like that but I'm just saying others may see it that way as well. Originally Posted by Bloodhound

I understand that Meg's comments and humor on this board can taken different ways. I just hope everybody understands that her board persona and who she is in person are separate. Meg is a super cool, laid back chick. If I was a dude, she'd be on the top of my hobby list.

Well, everyone has their own opinion. I personally don't think it's "rude" to not respond to a PM. Sometimes it's even more polite to not respond to a PM for the simple tenant, "If you have nothing nice to say, don't say anything at all." Some people in life rub you the wrong way. That's just a fact of life.