Is There A Polite Way To Say Something?

DFW5Traveler's Avatar
Thanks TNT, the question then becomes how well will the woman receive that advice without becoming defensive. Some women would be moritified hearing that, especially when this is their livelyhood. Since there is no physical sign saying what type of women they are, you would never know how they would react. Some may even become vindictive as a defense. I would dislike losing the hobby connection with someone we enjoy our time with. I would say 75% of all of my encounters are oral only, DATY/BBBJ, because we had a great conversation before we even started.

I would be willing to compromise on my requests. A lot women don't like washing their hair multiple times a day and I understand that repeating that ritual daily could get tiresome if not detrimental to the health of her hair. I'm lucky in that I live almost in the heart of hobby central (at least until I move next month) and can be at a private incall or the galleria within 15 minutes. If I had to drive longer than that, I'd feel obliged to ask for a shower before we started, especially in this heat.

Side story: I dated a shrink some time back and it was her that started that little cleanliness ritual of "shower before sex, shower after sex, change the sheets after sex..." Never date a shrink who's also obsessive compulsive, tedious to say the least...
LazurusLong's Avatar
Side story: I dated a shrink some time back and it was her that started that little cleanliness ritual of "shower before sex, shower after sex, change the sheets after sex..." Never date a shrink who's also obsessive compulsive, tedious to say the least... Originally Posted by DFW5Traveler
Hell, you could have dated Shereen. Same ritual only you'd need to add "shower during sex".

The hard truth if there really is no "easy" way to tell a woman, pro or not as in this case he put forth.

He started this as if it is not a professional, I actually think a professional would want to know because it WILL affect her livelihood. But how should he seriously tell a civilian?

Gently and not in bed.

Meet her for lunch and tell her how you really enjoy giving her oral pleasure but the last time you went down there, the something was off putting.

Don't act like you know what it is, you don't. Maybe mention that you had a former gf who had some issue and she needed an antibiotic from her doctor.
or - if it is an professional...

see who her friends are (if you follow the boards, or look at her links or perhaps doubles reviews...you could get a fellow lady to inform her without disclosing your info...hopefully. I guess it depends on the trustworthiness of the girl you present it to. Some girls make take it as being vengeful if they don't know the other lady well - but maybe a motherly like provider, who looks out for all of us could help you. Elisabeth comes to mind. I'm sure she'd find a way to bring it up with tact and in a gentle manner.)
So, this might be an unpopular answer, but frankly, I'd want to fuckin know. Please gents, if you EVER show up to see me and there's a smell, fuckin tell me!!! Be NICE, but tell me. A lady needs to know something like that. She will be embarrassed, and might get defensive (depending on the lady) but at least you know you did what you could to help. All you have to do is on your way out the door, stop, turn around, and tell her "You know, it wasn't a deal breaker for me, and I had a great time, but there was a bit of an odor down there. I'm sorry, but I thought you should know." That's it. Not that hard. And if she gets pissy, well, you're already at the door anyway, just walk out. Personally, I'd probably send a thank you email (as soon as I got over the embarrassment and fixed the problem) and offer a discount to come back and try again.

Seriously guys, you need to be able to speak up. I sure as hell want to (and do) speak up when one of YOU is a bit smelly.
ck1942's Avatar
A tough subject!

TNT - you are herewith nominated for the "Mother Hen" position. Not an easy one to fill, but ....

Traci - I respect your perspective, but I disagree with the application. Kind of cowardly to mention on the way out; more honest to sit on the bed after dressing, and say it then so you can hug her if she needs it.

There's always the real coward's way out, which is to use a totally blind email addy and send it to her a couple days afterward.

imo - any hobbyist (I mean everyone) who plays owes it to the provider he's with to let her know if there was any issue(s).

Not too long ago I counseled a provider (after we had lunch) who asked me for some feedback (obviously she had read some adverse comments/recommendations) that "she needed to pay attention to personal hygiene, and I emphasized the personal and the hygiene."

btw, I have also passed the same word to more than a few gents because providers asked me to do so. I'm guessing that makes me a "Father Hen" of sorts.
I appreciate the advice and perspectives offered by fellow hobbyists and providers. Thank you for the suggestions.
You could finger her and then tickle her face. Originally Posted by TheBizz
the best suggestion I've heard so far. Look her dead in the face and if you notice a discernible reaction, your message has been conveyed.

Sometimes during that time of the month some girls still work with the help of sponges or those cups that hold whatever it is until you take it out.

I have a girlfriend that tried the sponge trick for the first time and AND FORGOT TO TAKE IT OUT. After about the 5th day, that shit was so stank I walked in her room and was taken aback. I mean all my nose hairs were running for cover. you can smell it through clothes and all. She had no idea what the issue was until we ran through all the possibilities, and I asked her when was the last time she had her period and it snapped to her remembrance and took it out, after that the smell wasn't an issue. You never know.
I agree with the guy who said finger her them tickle her face maybe she will notice.......lol
this thread could use a visual

GabrielaSweetheart's Avatar
just tell her youd enjoy it more or find it more erotic to take a shower together
pyramider's Avatar
Sometimes the shower does not help, or in one case with a civilian years ago a highly chlorinated pool did not help.