Need some advice

Sorry old man, I guess I should have given you credit for the "pro" comment, but I assumed you were talking about your normal.... amateur strippers. Sorry, That's not pro. But you knew that didn't you?
It's actually funny that YOU would make a comment about age.. What next? Weight and shape..? pfft
Not to mention, you are the last source I would advise for advice with a wife.. considering.....you knew that too didn't ya?

Didn't have a bi wife.... might be why where not together anymore...
Got a couple of bi girlfriends though.....

And personally, once they start taking money, they are pros in a lot of guys books.

With an age range of 18-25 and far better looks than the avg providers available and at about half the normal provider rate for twice the time on average....... Well... I'm not the only one that prefers that market... Just the most vocal about it.

Fair enough, and truly stated. I might debate the "essence" of Pro though.
Like the guy that graduates at the bottom of the class from Med school.. Know what they call him? Same thing as the good ones...Doctor!!
Some are better, some are not. Some are completely deadheads. Experience is a big plus in several fields.
After all, there's nothing "new" to this game.. It's the same ole, same ole, just a different day,.
I won $5 playing golf, but I promise you ..... I AM NO A PRO. I'm not even good.

Same would go for providers.

Just because they have a website and charge money for it doesn't make them a pro in the sense you're talking about it. There aren't many providers around who would qualify as courtesan level provider.

So you are saying that strippers are not sexually born deviants and because they are young they never have studied porn??? These young girls today are much more advanced with technology than what the females just over 25 are. I have a friend that has tons of nude pics his GF and other young girls on his cell phone. All those girls are under 25 and the pose is on the bed in doggy style position. So unless they are completely sheltered and did not have access to cell phones.internet,cable, ect....then maybe they need to gain some experience as of what to do in bed. I would stand to say there are probably a bunch of 21yr old females that could teach the pros a thing or two.

Why is a provider "out"? I have done a total of 3 appts with my regs and their SO. On 2 occasions the SO knew I was a provider and on the 3rd, she did not. You are prob way better off with a provider and she can be discreet. We ARE professionals. Don't you want your SO's first time to be an experience she enjoys rather than some sloppy inexperienced girl from a bar?

For the 2 that knew I was a provider, they had NO idea I had seen their husbands before. They both agreed to a provider bc they knew their husbands wouldn't run off with me or develop a relationship.

For the 1 that didn't know I was a provider, we set it up in advance. I posted a "looking for a couple" in the personals sect of CL. They (plus hundreds of people) replied to the ad. I replied only to their email address and I talked with her in advance and flirted with her. I have a nonhobby generic email addy I use, so she couldn't find out anything about my hobby life with a google search. We set it up and had a great experience. I left my purse in the bathroom and while the SO and I were "occupied", he slipped an envelope in my purse.

With careful planning and an experienced lady, this can become a wonderful, bonding experience for you and your SO.

So you are saying that strippers are not sexually born deviants and because they are young they never have studied porn??? These young girls today are much more advanced with technology than what the females just over 25 are. Originally Posted by Wyldeman30

Nope, not at all. But the lack of "sensibility" could very well lead to a "situation". He was just looking for a fun adventure for them... NOT an exercise in frustration. I'd venture that the "more experienced" the guest, the less likely of miscommunication. No more, no less. Having owned 4 stripper clubs, I stand by my observation that the crew on duty is "potentially" not as stable as the ladies that have more experience in the field and are not as likely to become "clingy". As a participant in this, I would NOT chose to pick up at the bar, but instead, I would pick up the phone. And for a couples playtime, I would recommend the same. Of course for you to offer any suggestions in this arena, you would have to have a wife, AND be looking for a fun playmate. I gather that's not the case with you... is it? Sorry if I'm wrong.././.

My opinion -- go non-pro unless you have no other options. Nina Sparxx cited the Players Club (or Friends) which is always a fun place to start. Many bi women and some tantalizingly innocent bi playing in the club. You might even be lucky and find a woman to whom you are very attracted and set up a follow-up date. I humbly disagree with Whispers that swinging or finding someone civvy might cause problems. Certainly can happen but very rarely are there any complications in the swinging world.

Swingers choose partners because they WANT to be with the other person and the other person wants to be with him/her, not because they are PAYING to be with the other person. The other person might not be as skilled as a pro, but I am not a pro either -- we are just 2 people attracted to each other who (hopefully) find each other sexy and want to make (hopefully) passionate love. I've had wonderful hours with providers but, at the end of the hour, it was just good sex. With a non-pro you can possibly start a relationship that will last and will also possibly lead to other connections. Happens all the time. And it's free!!

But whatever you decide, keep us informed as to your success. Best of luck.

Nope, not at all. But the lack of "sensibility" could very well lead to a "situation". He was just looking for a fun adventure for them... NOT an exercise in frustration. I'd venture that the "more experienced" the guest, the less likely of miscommunication. No more, no less. Having owned 4 stripper clubs, I stand by my observation that the crew on duty is "potentially" not as stable as the ladies that have more experience in the field and are not as likely to become "clingy". As a participant in this, I would NOT chose to pick up at the bar, but instead, I would pick up the phone. And for a couples playtime, I would recommend the same. Of course for you to offer any suggestions in this arena, you would have to have a wife, AND be looking for a fun playmate. I gather that's not the case with you... is it? Sorry if I'm wrong.././. Originally Posted by nuglet

You do not have to have a wife to have a SO that wants to have 3rd or 4th party.

Ya.......you are sorry about something IDK what exactly maybe it is that old man syndrome...

Strippers do have issues, but I doubt they would become stalkers after a 3 way. It could be a lot of fun, ah hell it is fun....

If you go the bar route just give them a fake number so after they leave you never have to hear from them again.

LOL, spoken like the gentleman you are... yup. I guess this is an example of the "little boy syndrome" you're known for. I figured I wasn't mistaken, thanks for the confirmation.

LOL, spoken like the gentleman you are... yup. I guess this is an example of the "little boy syndrome" you're known for. I figured I wasn't mistaken, thanks for the confirmation. Originally Posted by nuglet

It is not nice to be a bitter father time....

Sorry son, back on topic.

Swingers choose partners because they WANT to be with the other person and the other person wants to be with him/her, not because they are PAYING to be with the other person. The other person might not be as skilled as a pro, but I am not a pro either -- we are just 2 people attracted to each other who (hopefully) find each other sexy and want to make (hopefully) passionate love. I've had wonderful hours with providers but, at the end of the hour, it was just good sex. With a non-pro you can possibly start a relationship that will last and will also possibly lead to other connections. Happens all the time. And it's free!!

But whatever you decide, keep us informed as to your success. Best of luck. Originally Posted by SpeedRacerXXX

SR you have some great points, but as someone who has actively been involved in the swinger lifestyle for as long as I was old enough, you are forgetting one major issue.... THE DRAMA! I've been the 3rd on many occasions and for several years, I was the SO. I do not have a jealous bone in my body, but I have watched many fine couples enter the lifestyle only to find that it can easily bring out insecurities in the relationship. You do not know where you are at until you cross that path. Jealousy is a funny thing... it can pop up on either side and can come out of nowhere. I've also found that many swingers are less likely to "keep things safe" (I've had to stop the show on many occasions and insist on coverage) and aren't as skilled at recognizing when things are going south. Swingers are looking for a good time for themselves. Providers have one goal - make it an amazing experience for their hobbyist and the SO.

He will make his own choice, but hooking up with a random girl or couple can be extremely risky. I'm not saying don't ever go with a swinger or don't try to find a longterm relationship with a lady. What I am saying is that the first experience is soooo critical to whether or not she will want to continue and whether or not there will be hard feelings at the end of the night or even later down the road.

Swingers are also a very clickish group. It is highly unlikely that on their first night they will walk into a club and find a hot single lady that wants to hook up with them. Besides, what lady wants their first time to be surrounded by a hundred people?

A ladies first time should be intimate. No alcohol. She should be in a comfortable environment, surrounded by lavender scents, maybe a sensual bubble bath to start. She should remember every flick of the tongue, every caress, hear the slow breaths whispering on her most intimate parts. The man should be in a comfy chair pulled up to the bed looking in her eyes, kissing her moaning lips and running his hands through her hair. When the hobbyist and his SO finally come together, the 3rd should be caressing their bodies, kissing her nipples, and telling her how sexy she is with him on top of her....

In a relationship, swinging ENHANCES the intimacy. MAYBE you'll find someone who can do that at a bar, but if it were my first time, I wouldn't want to take that chance. Get her hooked with an awesome experience first and then venture into the swinging world. Just my 2 pennies.

Mods - If any of the above is too graphic, please edit. I tried to keep it forum appropriate but still get my point across.

I would be with my wife if she would hobby with me. I think it would be hot if my wife cum swapped my jizz with Naomi4u or London

sixx

SR you have some great points, but as someone who has actively been involved in the swinger lifestyle for as long as I was old enough, you are forgetting one major issue.... THE DRAMA! I've been the 3rd on many occasions and for several years, I was the SO. I do not have a jealous bone in my body, but I have watched many fine couples enter the lifestyle only to find that it can easily bring out insecurities in the relationship. You do not know where you are at until you cross that path. Jealousy is a funny thing... it can pop up on either side and can come out of nowhere. I've also found that many swingers are less likely to "keep things safe" (I've had to stop the show on many occasions and insist on coverage) and aren't as skilled at recognizing when things are going south. Swingers are looking for a good time for themselves. Providers have one goal - make it an amazing experience for their hobbyist and the SO.

Certainly drama exists in the swinger's world and jealousy too. However, very rarely in my opinion, and I have found swingers to be much more up-front than non-swingers in that they rarely "cheat" on their SOs. If there are insecurities in the relationship, they will come out eventually, with or without swinging. My first marriage broke up in part because my wife found out about my having "dates" with providers. Both activities come with possible problems. Regarding "keep things safe", I agree. A provider always uses protection. I would estimate swingers use protection about 50% of the time, much depending on the circumstances of the relationship. I have never heard of anyone refusing to use protection when asked.

He will make his own choice, but hooking up with a random girl or couple can be extremely risky. I'm not saying don't ever go with a swinger or don't try to find a longterm relationship with a lady. What I am saying is that the first experience is soooo critical to whether or not she will want to continue and whether or not there will be hard feelings at the end of the night or even later down the road.

I don't disagree about the riskiness of a random hook-up. That is why a meet-and-greet is very important, whether it be for a couple-couple relationship or a woman-woman relationship. People who think that swinging is an all-out orgy where everyone does everyone else would be sadly mistaken. You meet people, see if there is a connection both mentally and physically, and then POSSIBLY proceed to sex.

Swingers are also a very clickish group. It is highly unlikely that on their first night they will walk into a club and find a hot single lady that wants to hook up with them. Besides, what lady wants their first time to be surrounded by a hundred people?

Yes and no. In a club atmosphere where you are the newbies, it is sometimes difficult to break in with the regulars. However, if the lady is HOT, and very out-going, the ice will be broken very quickly. And I never suggested that the woman in question have sex at the club, or to even leave the club with others. It is just a place to casually experience bi activities such as flirting, caressing, etc. We have never left a swing club with others, but have met people with whom we have had relationships for years.

A ladies first time should be intimate. No alcohol. She should be in a comfortable environment, surrounded by lavender scents, maybe a sensual bubble bath to start. She should remember every flick of the tongue, every caress, hear the slow breaths whispering on her most intimate parts. The man should be in a comfy chair pulled up to the bed looking in her eyes, kissing her moaning lips and running his hands through her hair. When the hobbyist and his SO finally come together, the 3rd should be caressing their bodies, kissing her nipples, and telling her how sexy she is with him on top of her....

There are literally hundreds of scenarios that would work, depending on the individuals involved. As we see on this forum, each person is different and enjoys sex differently. Some are laid-back lovers. Others are into B&D/S&M. Some guys love DATY and others don't. Your scenario is wonderful but many others would work just as well. I would estimate that 50% of the women in our group are bi, either active or passive, and I'd be willing to bet that none of them started out their activities in the manner you suggest. Just a hunch though.


In a relationship, swinging ENHANCES the intimacy. MAYBE you'll find someone who can do that at a bar, but if it were my first time, I wouldn't want to take that chance. Get her hooked with an awesome experience first and then venture into the swinging world. Just my 2 pennies.

A swing club is not a bar. And, again, I'm only suggesting a swing club as a starter as a low-key experience. MAYBE meet another woman or a couple with a bi woman and see what happens. As many on this forum have stated, the first time with a provider is also a tense experience. The man may know the provider but in all liklihood the woman will not. So will she be more comfortable with a woman she just met, no matter what the conditions are, or a woman who she has met before and has a physical/mental attraction too?

Appreciate the input. Not saying you are incorrect at all in you opinions. Your $.02 are the same as mine.