My Outing

All I have to say is "Wow'. Elena if you're ever in the mood for a couple drinks and a chat, let me know.

I don't post very much, but I am very sorry to hear of what happened. I think for many, if not most of us, this is something that we keep to ourselves and let few, if any, other people know about it. We all have our own reasons, just as those who are open about it have their reasons as well. To me, it's a question of respecting the privacy and personal choices of my fellow hobbiests.

That having been said, I went back and reread what Superspinster initially wrote, and I have to say, I think you misunderstood him. I think he genuinely was trying to show you support - just in his own way. Maybe he didn't fully understand just how worried and upset you were about being outed, I don't know. I just got the impression he was trying to show that there was another way, which is embracing what you do. Obviously, that's not a solution that works for you, but I don't think he was being intentionally insensitive by offering it as a suggestion. Just my own 2 cents...

Thats the way I interpreted it too, at least with his initial post.

Dan, I'd love to have a drink. With the chilly weather though, maybe a hot chocolate or hot toddy.


Guys, I see what you're saying, but you have to look at it from this point of view:

If you were a provider and another provider outed your personal info to people (other providers & hobbyists) whom I have never seen nor even met in a public venue (m&g) and you know this provider who outed your info is crazy, yes I have/had every right to be worried and fear for my safety. Its not just a matter of people knowing what I do, so its not as easy as SuperSinster made it sound.

Would you want other providers/hobbyists knowing your real info if there's no reason for them to have it? You not knowing what they plan on doing with it or if they even plan on doing anything with it? I'm guessing.......no. That's just a wild guess though.

I think at first SS was also trying to say "be proud of what you do...."

We all have risks to hobby (family, jobs, social, etc) and you have to weigh if it's worth it or not if we get caught. Elena only you can choose if getting caught our outed is worth the risk or not. And if it's not as you sort of mention above, use the schooling this has paid for a get a different or as some would say a "real" job.

I'm going to put this as nice as I can............

SS was and still is looking at it from a hobbyists POV, not from a providers outlook. The last thing I needed at the time that I made that post was a lecture from some guy telling me to stand proud, tell everyone, etc. You know what, if any of you had been outed to your S.O.'s, the last thing you'd want is a fucking lecture. You'd want a little compassion, understanding and support.

I honestly don't think that you men can truly understand what its like for someone to have your personal info, pass it out to who whoever they wish and not knowing what those people are going to do with that info, feeling violated and feeling not so safe until its happened to you. The only way its going to happen to you is if you see some crazy bitch who's going to threaten and blackmail you with your info. Only then will you understand and know the feelings that I've been going through.

Its up to me and me only on who I decides has my personal info and there's no one in this hobby as of yet that has made me want to fork over that info. I have never handed my info out freely to anyone. Hell, I've known Jackie for a little over 2 yrs and she still doesn't have my real name/info.

I agree Ms. Elena. While we can't truly understand your point of view, many of us have those same concerns. If not, I suppose we wouldn't use "handles" now, would we? I think there is a level of curiosity each of us has when we meet new folks, but personally I don't want to know personal information about anyone, so I can tell the truth if the subject ever comes up.
Glad you see you back and participating on the forum, Elena, and its good to know you are able to participate in a number of activities again. :>)

SB,

Thank you darlin'. Its nice to be back in the swing of things again. And yes, I am able to participate in numerous activities again.

CHEESE AND CRACKERS! lol I hope you don't mind if/when I "borrow" this one day" lmao.

Originally Posted by heartsonfire

Hell, I've known Jackie for a little over 2 yrs and she still doesn't have my real name/info. Originally Posted by MsElena

I have never asked, and probably never will . . . some things are better left exactly like SB said . . . "I don't want to know personal information about anyone, so I can tell the truth if the subject ever comes up".

Kisses,

- Jackie