What is the worst experence with a provider?

Sweet N Little's Avatar
I will let you decide ....

The lady that bruised and battered my pecker, and it was not a S&M/dom/pain session. It took sex weeks better the pecker fully recovered from the trauma.

or

The lady whose kids was in the next room asking homework questions as I was plowing his mom. Yes, I am smarter than a fifth grader. I did not know he was there until we started and the knocking on the door began.

or

The lady who had an actual fistfight with another lady at her incall. At first I thought they were kidding and I might get a surprise 3some. But it got real ugly real fast. Originally Posted by pyramider
I'll go with the first one since that one caused bodily harm.
Ive made dicks sore for days but can't imagine (and not sure if I want to lol) how the hell you got bruised there!
pyramider's Avatar
For a pro, she really lacked penis handling skills. That was a brothel experience in NV.
Cpalmson's Avatar
I was out of town and wanting to play. Decisions, decisions, decisions. There were a lot of potential providers to choose from but being in a strange city made things harder. After looking at about a dozen or so options from a variety of sources, I opted for a TOFTT encounter with a provider on CityVibe. Very hard to verify any info on the girl, but she was Asian, and I was in the mood for Chinese I felt a bit more comfortable after talking to her on the phone as she used very light screening. Set up date and headed out at the appointed time. It was rush hour traffic, and I was going to be 5 minutes late. I called and told her-- no problem on her end. Get to her incall hotel, and call. She says he needs 5 minutes. No problem on my end. Well 5 minutes turns into 15 minutes. Still no problem She calls and tells me her room number and I head on up. As I'm going up, I pass what appears to be another provider coming from the general direction of the room I'm going to. I knew that the two were touring, so I must have been coming up on the end of a session for the other provider. Kinda awkward. Get to the room and meet the provider. First thing she does is ask to see my ID (first time ever to happen to me). I think great, so this is how it starts-- no kissing, no chit chat, no nothing. ID check is out of the way, and she goes into the bathroom and tells me to get comfortable. Again, kinda awkward but I've had similar experiences in the past. I strip down to my undies and she comes out. I begin to undress her and as per normal, I'm ready to explode. As I tell her this, she helps me out of my undies and then just stands there as junior blows his wad onto the room floor. No effort to even give a hand job. Just stands there. Well, we clean up the mess and lay down on the bed while I relax a bit. I begin to kiss her when the rules start. No kissing on the lips. I avoid the lips, I being to work my way down her body and spread her legs and begin to kiss her thighs. I dive in for a little DATY when she says that is $50 extra. Talk about a mood breaker. I never bring more money than the stated donation, so DATY is out-- bummer. By this time, I'm saying just fuck it, and that is what I proceed to do. I fuck her in standing missionary, but she is as responsive as a cold fish. I probably had another shot in me, but her lack of "charisma" left me wanting. After about 40 minutes of an hour date, I clean up and leave. No kissing, No DATY, No interaction led up to No Fun. I'd probably have more fun at a sperm bank.
Pink Floyd's Avatar
My worst experience was a girl who provided NOTHING - ZERO - ZIP. Didn't even take her clothes off, and then had the cojones to ask if I wanted to be one of her regulars. I agreed ahead of time not to do a review, but I will bash her every time she pokes her head out. She ripped me off for $$, but I guarantee that I have cost her thousands in lost business. I put the word out in my own special way and if she had a brain in her head she would throw a free overnighter at me. I have no idea what was going through her pea brain, unless she was dancing on the strings of a pimp, and those girls don't have a brain.
anaximander's Avatar
Omg tff!
My SO wonders whats so damn funny.
If only......

So this is what I have to look fwd to?
Sugardaddy's Avatar
[quote=Anita Lay;1773766]
Or, the guy tells the lady he will write her a review if she gives him a big discount. quote]

I have never asked a lady for a discount in exchange for a positive review.
However, I have often ask for my AARP discount, which I have never gotten.
I guess That dawg don't hunt roun here.

As for my worst, yes I just walked out, told her I had to go, but let her keep the gift.
Schroedinger's Cat's Avatar
Had one that misrepresented BCD claims (ie: "no gag reflex", "I always bring my A-Game")...that sort of stuff.

Turned out to be lame. Should've known better. LOL
I am a very private person and I don't care about reviews but some harp on getting established and having a list.

Men should help us ladies improve our skills behind closed doors, what one likes doesn't mean the other might like. COMMUNICATION COMMUNICATION COMMUNICATION. . .
I ALWAYS ask a guy while doing something what he likes best and speak up or I will drag it out of him.
I screwed up a few times when I forgot to turn my cell phone on silent mode.
I have forgot to gargle with mouth wash whn rushing and getting ready.
I have gotten carried away and sucked the chrome off the pipe for thinking the guy liked it and he was tooo shy to tell me anything different, bless his heart. He told me later by phone I was aggressive and sucking too hard. Yes, I did tell him to express the likes. Some want fast, slow, easy, hard, bla bla bla.
I am happy to hear the guy tell me WANT HE WANTS... such a turn on.
My worst experience was a girl who provided NOTHING - ZERO - ZIP. Didn't even take her clothes off, and then had the cojones to ask if I wanted to be one of her regulars. I agreed ahead of time not to do a review, but I will bash her every time she pokes her head out. She ripped me off for $$, but I guarantee that I have cost her thousands in lost business. I put the word out in my own special way and if she had a brain in her head she would throw a free overnighter at me. I have no idea what was going through her pea brain, unless she was dancing on the strings of a pimp, and those girls don't have a brain. Originally Posted by FlectiNonFrangi
I have only had one experience where I did something like this and it's only because I knew he was most likely a cop. He refused to get comfortable so I did too. At the end of the hour he was like was that it? That's all you do in a session? And I said yes darling. We talked a lot. I think I helped you release some stress talking about work and your home life. He never called back so Idk.
hobbyprojb's Avatar
Made a call to a Yellow Pages Escort Agency expecting a hot time with a Beautiful Blonde. The agency owner hyped her up..telling me that I would have a great time with her & she gets plenty of postive feeback from clients. Alrighty..

She comes into my room..No Smile.No Hug..Just a tired look on her face. I try to start a conversation with her and it felt like I was talking to the wall.
Alrighty..Let's just get the session going.

She takes off her clothes..but leaves her bra & panties on. I turn on some music to get her to dance for me..she complains about the music. Ok..She turns the radio station to some Hardcore Rap. I was like..WTF! I just went along with it & try to undo her bra while she was dancing..NO! Now the date was going downhill fast.

I asked if she would take off her panties..Another NO! So finally I ask for just a simple massage.."I don't know how to do massages"

I was pissed. I finally told her to leave. It was actually the best part of the whole damn session.

Worst hobby experience of my life 12 years ago.. I still get pissed when I look back on that day. That was the last time I ever used the Yellow Pages to look for a provider.
wouldn't give u a massage? damnnnn
hobbyprojb's Avatar
wouldn't give u a massage? damnnnn Originally Posted by Anita Lay
Yeah..Tell me about it! The girl was just plain lazy. I tried to call back the agency & he would not answer any of my calls. Last time I ever used the Yellow Pages to get a provider.
My worst was trying to go thru a agency and had to pick from about 5 different gals so i pick out a nice looking brunette in her 30's off the web site and confirm the time and place.
What shows up is a ratty blonde about 50 pounds heavier than the gal in the picture on website and instead of 30 yr old she looked to be 19 or maybe early 20's
Then it was time for the donation and when i laid the money down in envelope first thing she did was count it then tells me that the rate i had in the envelope was not correct and a tip would be nice.
I immediatly got on phone with agency and it all went down hill from there and i was left with blue balls and being the nice guy that i am i gave the gal $50 for her trouble because she was caught in the middle.
This was the first time i used an agency and last !!
Seems like most agencies are Horrible...
Great post! It's very nice. Thank you so much for your post.