Are there any George Carlin fans out there?

Carlin received the Mark Twain award for his lifetime work in comedy (the same award received this year by Tina Fey).

Unfortunately, he died before the actual show, although he knew he was the recipient. The show was on PBS, and they showed a number of his clips. You can find the listing here: http://www.pbs.org/weta/twain2008/.

This favorite quote will age me. It happened back in the days of dial telephones. When you are put on hold, the light blinks. Carlin said, "If you die while you're on hold, does your blinking light go out?"

There were sooooo many others....
  • MrGiz
  • 11-12-2011, 11:31 PM
Somebody here, (sorry, can't remember who) already has this quote in their signature line....

"Just think of how stupid the average person is, and then realize half of them are even stupider! "

George Carlin was a genius of human irony!


ElisabethWhispers's Avatar
I'm spending some time this afternoon listening to some of the links that were listed in this thread and finding it a great escape.

Here is another one that I just listened to on youtube.

"Four groups that got to go":

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OmJ2s...eature=related

Great stuff. Thanks for the links and information.
ElisabethWhispers's Avatar
P.S. After listening to some George Carlin, youtube points to the comedy of Bill Maher. I like his programming but his comedy cannot hold a candle to Carlin's.

Wow.
ElisabethWhispers's Avatar
I'm a modern man...

I'm a modern man
A man for the millennium
Digital and smoke free

A diversified multicultural postmodern deconstructionist
Politically anatomically and ecologically incorrect

I've been uplinked and downloaded
I've been inputted and outsourced
I know the upside of downsizing
I know the downside of upgrading

I'm a high tech lowlife
A cutting edge state-of-the-art bicoastal multitasker
And I can give you a gigabyte in a nanosecond

I'm new wave but I'm old school
And my inner child is outward bound

I'm a hot wired heat seeking warm hearted cool customer
Voice activated and biodegradable

I interface from a database
And my database is in cyberspace
So I'm interactive
I'm hyperactive
And from time-to-time
I'm radioactive

Behind the eight ball
Ahead of the curve
Riding the wave
Dodging a bullet
Pushing the envelope

I'm on point
On task
On message
And off drugs
I got no need for coke and speed
I got no urge to binge and purge

I'm in the moment
On the edge
Over the top
But under the radar

A high concept
Low profile
Medium range ballistic missionary
A street-wise smart bomb
A top gun bottom feeder

I wear power ties
I tell power lies
I take power naps
I run victory laps

I'm a totally ongoing big foot slam dunk rainmaker with a proactive outreach
A raging workaholic
A working rageaholic
Out of rehab
And in denial

I got a personal trainer
A personal shopper
A personal assistant
And a personal agenda

You can't shut me up
You can't dumb me down
'Cause I'm tireless
And I'm wireless
I'm an alpha male on beta blockers

I'm a non-believer and an over-achiever
Laid back but fashion forward

Up front
Down home
Low rent
High maintenance

Super size
Long lasting
High definition
Fast acting
Oven ready
And built to last

I'm a hands on
Footloose
Knee jerk
Head case

Prematurely post-traumatic
And I have a love child who sends me hate mail

But I'm feeling
I'm caring
I'm healing
I'm sharing
A supportive bonding nurturing primary care giver

My output is down
But my income is up
I take a short position on the long bond
And my revenue stream has its own cash flow

I read junk mail
I eat junk food
I buy junk bonds
I watch trash sports

I'm gender specific
Capital intensive
User friendly
And lactose intolerant

I like rough sex...
I like rough sex
I like tough love
I use the f word in my email
And the software on my hard drive is hard core, no soft porn

I bought a microwave at a mini mall
I bought a mini van in a mega store
I eat fast food in the slow lane

I'm toll free
Bite sized
Ready to wear
And I come in all sizes

A fully equipped
Factory authorized
Hospital tested
Clinically proven
Scientifically formulated medical miracle

I've been pre-washed
Pre-cooked
Pre-heated
Pre-screened
Pre-approved
Pre-packaged
Post-dated
Freeze-dried
Double-wrapped
Vacuum-packed
And I have an unlimited broadband capacity

I'm a rude dude
But I'm the real deal
Lean and mean
Cocked, locked and ready to rock
Rough tough and hard to bluff

I take it slow
I go with the flow
I ride with the tide
I got glide in my stride

Drivin' and movin'
Sailin' and spinnin'
Jivin' and groovin'
Wailin' and winnin'

I don't snooze
So I don't lose
I keep the pedal to the metal
And the rubber on the road

I party hearty
And lunch time is crunch time

I'm hanging in
There ain't no doubt
And I'm hanging tough
Over and out

©2006 George Carlin
sympleman's Avatar
What the fuck is that little white stuff at the top of the yolk when you crack an egg open?

Hen Cum????????


RIP Mr. Carlin.


Sympy.
CuteOldGuy's Avatar
Liz, lol! Thank you!

And Bill Maher is unworthy to tie George Carlin's sandals.
True brilliance!

Always enjoyed George Carlin. I had seen the vid COG linked in post #5, where he does a good job of articulating the more legitimate concerns of the OWS protesters. Good stuff. So is the one Elisabeth linked in post #18.

And, yes, Bill Maher is a cup of pretty weak tea, while George Carlin was a strong cup of espresso!
In my opinion Carlin was a brillant man; but I'm just dippy hippy and not a hippy dippy weatherman!
ElisabethWhispers's Avatar
"I'm a hot wired heat seeking warm hearted cool customer"

I think that I need to work that into my sig line or something. Oh yes ... and what I'm discovering is that his comedy seems ageless.

At least for now!
Rogue_Gent's Avatar
When you wear out Carlin, start on Carlin's spiritual godfather: Lenny Bruce.
ElisabethWhispers's Avatar
I was a Lenny Bruce fan back in high school. Mainly because he was still an iconoclastic type of comedian. Also have read his biography and was familiar with the film as well.

I actually used one of his lines once in an ad:

"To is a proposition. Come is a verb."

I probably need to revisit that!!!

I found it interesting that Carlin, who was inspired by Bruce, was listed as a better comedian on one of those lists than Bruce was. Could have been as a result of the overall content of Carlin's performances.

Elisabeth