Threesomes – Guide to
Some people are attracted to threesomes for reasons similar to those enjoying group sex (but with just one less partner) – and some for other reasons. There are those simply looking to ‘try it all’ - perhaps during their more experimental college years … or those recently divorced after significant years of marriage (particularly those who married very young and missed out on the experimental years) and looking to spread their sexual wings by stepping outside the norm. There are also very sexual men and women who are just looking for more variety, and merely want/need more than the typical one-on-one sex act - at least once in a while.
A threesomes is a more intimate and ‘personal’ version of group sex with some unique characteristics, and so merits its own separate consideration.
Before reading this article further we recommend you check out our
Introduction to Multi-partner Sex, then come back here to read-on for the specifics relating to threesomes.
Definition
A threesome is the act of one couple with an additional individual (or just three individuals) performing sexual activity together. A grouping of more than three lovers is described as ‘
Group Sex’.
Difference between 'threesomes' and 'swinging' or 'polyamory'
Threesomes can be an aspect of
Swinging or
Polyamory, but it can also be different in that it does not require any of the participants to be in relationships with one another (whereas swinging and polyamory does). However, being a couple can be advantageous in getting a threesome initiated by inviting someone else to simply join in.
Different types of threesomes
The most common threesomes involve men who are looking to fulfill the fantasy of being with two women at the same time, especially if the women perform bi-sexual acts during the course of the threesome (otherwise known as ‘show time’)! There are also women who want to experience being with two men at the same time (not as uncommon as you might think). However, there are also threesomes consisting of the same sex (i.e. 3 men or 3 women). There are also threesomes that include bisexuality, and those that don't; some just want to experience their partner in a physically intimate situation with another person.
Why would someone initiate a threesome?
In addition to the points explored in our 'Introduction to Multi-partner Sex'...
A man or woman might be looking to please their partner by fulfilling his/her fantasies or bi-curious tendencies, and so agree to a threesome with another. Then, there is the bi-sexual person who is simply looking for that occasional excitement of a threesome.
For many bi-sexual women, having sex with a man is like having dinner ... it is something you have regularly. However, having sex with a woman is like having dessert... something you treat yourself to occasionally!
Swingers (defined as otherwise monogamous partners who have some level of sexual contact with one or more other people) will often enjoy any kind of an orgy, including threesomes. Also, a person who is looking for a lot of attention and wants to be the so-called ‘meat in the sandwich’ is a prime candidate for initiating a threesome.
Pros and cons of threesomes
In addition to the points explored in our 'Introduction to Multi-partner Sex'...
For very sexual people, or for those who are bi-curious, a threesome can genuinely be an electrifying experience. For the couple, most of the advantages and disadvantages are very similar to those experienced in full-blown group sex, but in a more limited way. Threesomes can be a great ‘intro’ to group sex, giving new participants a feeling of greater control as they explore options away from monogamous sex.
Also, some people simply prefer the distinct feeling of a threesome – whereby the intimacy of monogamous sex is more retained, while the thrill of including one other is an added thrill.
One option of a threesome is to make one person the star, and let that person lay back while the other two devour him or her, making the person who is receiving at the time feel like a real prince or a princess! A great idea for a birthday present too! However, it’s nice to take turns receiving and giving, so that everyone gets a turn to be a prince or a princess.
But how does the outsider - the ‘guest’ - fit into the equation? Being the outsider in a threesome can be a great position to be in, because there is no love or emotion involved; you are there exclusively for the sex act. In most cases, the guest gets treated like a princess or prince, because the guest is the source of exhilaration and variety for the couple. Many times the guest is the couple’s fantasy come true, and that’s a pleasing feeling for the outsider. So, if you like a lot of attention, and if you like to fulfill other people’s fantasies, definitely consider being the guest in a threesome.
The most common difficulty in being the guest in a threesome is when he or she is participating with a couple who has never had a threesome together previously, especially if you are a female guest of a couple in which the wife/girlfriend is not bi-sexual or bi-curious, and the husband or boyfriend tries to push a bi-sexual act on his partner when she’s really not into it! That can really put the female guest in a very uncomfortable situation, and easily cause upset between the partners.
In other cases, one partner might start to get jealous watching his or her partner having sex with another person – especially if they feel left-out, which obviously results in making it a distressing situation for everyone involved. Needless to say, the guest can end up feeling responsible! A crucial rule is to make sure that no one gets left out! Too often a spouse gives more attention to the guest than his or her partner … no, no, no! Always make sure your partner gets just as much attention as the guest does! Not doing so can literally end a marriage. An easy solution is to take turns in giving and receiving, and be aware of how much time you spend on the guest; when it’s your partner’s turn to be the prince or princess make sure that he or she receives the same amount of time from you, maybe even a little more.
Conclusion
For those of you who are planning a threesome for the first time and have absolutely no clue as to what to do ... believe us, when you get right down to it, most of it will come naturally!
The beauty of threesomes, especially when
Bi-sexuality is a part of it, is that each participant can almost always be giving and receiving at all times. It’s an incredibly hot experience that we believe everyone should at least consider trying ... at least once in their life!
We hope you have found this guide useful in making an informed decision as to whether this type of MPS sex is for you – or not. If you’re looking for more information regarding alternative choices, please refer to the rest of our related
Multi-partner& Alternative Lifestyle articles, plus our highly active and informative
Forum.