Rude People & No References

Several weeks ago I saw someone new(to me)who was traveling through. It was spur of the moment to some degree although I began the process in the am for a late afternoon hookup. I sent her a message through p411 and I also sent a text. We went back and forth texting. I kept checking to see if she checked me out through 411. When the time was drawing near she checked me through 411 and then we met. Moral of the story, if she had not checked me with 411 I was not going through with the meeting. I am very suspicious of any provider who would not require a reference.
Along those lines, I have from time to time heard from a provider who said a guy said he knew me and I have never heard of the guy. This needs to be as covert as we can make it. That does not mean a newbie cannot hook up, but respecting a girls boundries and screening protocol is the most important thing IMO..

Sometimes I think it's the world we live in today. Patience and research seem to have given way to instant gratification.

Allie: Stick to your guns and let them continue to use their hands...

I'll be calling when I can meet your requirements.

Well I have one reference because I have only seen one provider as of yet. I have had some providers turn me down because I have only have one provider reference but such is the life of starting out. Everyone I have contacted I let them know up front the situation and all I asked in return was for them to not waste my time. Everyone has been cool for the most part though so I don't get the bitchiness ( I know it isn't a word). Originally Posted by KenMonk

I am happy to accept one reference as long as she is a well known legit provider and she will verify!

I get emails all the time from guys that don't have the two provider references that I require. Depending on the guy, the vibe I get from him and my gut feeling, I will either get him verified another way or take a pass.

Some guys just don't know how to handle rejection and lash out. Mature men will handle it with ease and understand its not personal, but a business decision.

Allie, you stick to your guns girl! Sometime guys seem to think with the wrong 'head' when emailing, so they 'think' they can get away with a lot of little stuff... but us girls KNOW better and they will find out and understand that eventually
You know Im here if you need anything as you are with me and Im sure many other of these fine women on here!

Sometimes the stupidity of my follow brothers just simply astonishes me!
I was going to say a lot more but I think that pretty much says it all.

Ladies (and gents) always go with your gut….
Better to go with your gut feeling, and be wrong a thousand times, then go against it and be right just once…
If they can't understand that is it for everyones safety, you didn't want to see them anyway!

Just a little reminder..
Guys when giving your references, alway let the ladies that your using as references know who your giving them too.

Why do we need references? Im not writing a paper in High School here am I? (end of bad sarcasm).

I never had a problem with giving references, but I did feel like I was getting yanked around a few times back in the day (only been in the hobby for a year but who's counting). Like one girl who said a reference wasn't responding, but it was because she never contacted her and another saying none responded when my reference told me she had.

Some might say it is because I am terrible, but I hope a girl or two would come to my defense from this thread Also remember that if they are rude from behind a keyboard, they are probably lacking something in the real world that makes them that way. So really you shouldn't feel bad from it, but you should feel sorry for them.

Ill back ya

Haven't seen anyone so I don't have any references. I absolutely get the reason for them but dumb question here - If i go get verified by p411 will I still need the second verification for the you lovely ladies?

BTW - Love this particular forum, always good topics and convo!

I've been getting a lot of e-mails and PM's from men claiming they have no references. I explain that I need at least 2 provider references before I can schedule with them. Never am I snarky or mean about it.
The other day, I received a reply calling me a "bitch". And then today, a man told me that he doesn't feel the need to divulge any such info to me.
I feel that my screening process is non-invasive. It's information that providers put up on the internet themselves on how to contact them. It's true that a small minority of them won't give references, but the number of women who do provide references far outweigh those who don't.
Is it the cold weather that is making people so prickly? Or maybe LE is out in force this month? Originally Posted by Allie_Kat

I'm getting the same, no references, unwillingness to be vetted otherwise . . . and even the reverse "Oh, I haven't seen very many ladies" - and then they offer four of five references (all whom know him by a made-up first name, so they've never properly vetted him - or probably even bothered to screen him - or he's lying using a common first name and relying on their giving a blanket "okay" . . . either way, they aren't true references) . . .

LE typically strikes when they know they can get the most bang for their buck - January is a perfect time . . . ladies get "hungry" and take chances, make (more) mistakes . . . Over the last several years KCMO and JoCo all put up big numbers in January (ladies and gents both). There are several bondsmen that are members here that can attest to the statistic.

Hang in there and don't let your guard down.

I blame January. I have screened (and failed to pass) more people this month than in the last 3 combined. Including several who completely understand the process, understand the reasons for it, and yet still seem to believe that it applies to everyone but them.

I went into the holiday season expecting it to be slow, NOT expecting it to be full of timewasters. Oh well.

It will get better Originally Posted by SillyGirl

Yes, it will get better . . . typically January is very slow. Gentlemen seem to be on a short fuse as they may not have the same amount of discretionary funds they are used to having in other months as they make up from over-spending at the holidays.

I too find this time of year also brings out the "holier than thy brother" crowd that feel that they need not be referenced or screened and that we should bow down and thank them for their money whilst bathing their feet . . . Guys that have been around a long time know they can get away with a lot of things when the money is slow and the phone isn't ringing . . . and, it is slow in January, always has been.

Typically, January is also the month that most Escorts are victimized . . . Robberies of ladies are much more common after the holidays and the crime typically goes unreported (something that is counted on, I believe).

Before I joined 411 and was asked for references from someone I didn't know I was not sure if the providers I had seen were cool with me using them in case it was a LE sting. Originally Posted by ekim008

A perfect example of why you should contact the lady in advance of using her as a reference (or use P411 or other similar service, as you stated).

[...]Moral of the story, if she had not checked me with 411 I was not going through with the meeting. I am very suspicious of any provider who would not require a reference.[...] Originally Posted by malwoody

I'm falling in love with you . . . If only MORE ladies checked and MORE gentlemen CARED if they do . . . what a wonderful world this would be . . .

I never had a problem with giving references, but I did feel like I was getting yanked around a few times back in the day (only been in the hobby for a year but who's counting). Like one girl who said a reference wasn't responding, but it was because she never contacted her and another saying none responded when my reference told me she had. Originally Posted by bigryan222

Keep in mind that unless you actually witnessed it, the opposite of what they may have been telling you could have been the truth of it . . . ijs.

Haven't seen anyone so I don't have any references. I absolutely get the reason for them but dumb question here - If i go get verified by p411 will I still need the second verification for the you lovely ladies? Originally Posted by jococat

Yes. Some ladies will require additional secondary screening as is allowed in the P411 terms of service. Some will not.

Kisses,

- Jackie

Honest question on my part....I understand there are % of guys that for a variety of reasons are either assholes or pain in butts when it comes to initial contact. Thus making things a pain in the butt on your end.

But do you ladies find this to be the general rule or the general exception????

@vkmaster-

50% of my callers will complete my screening with no hesitancy, and they are absolute gentlemen. Not all of them will pass my screening, although, they may complete it . . .

Approximately 35% have an issue with one or more question I may ask, but screening is usually completed with other methods / resources or we mutually agree that some portion may be unnecessary given the specific circumstance (I am flexible in some matters). They are, however, generally never rude. Not all of them will pass my screening, although, they may complete it . . .

15% will offer NO information at all - nothing. And they will pursue other avenues . . . they KNOW they will be successful more often than they are not - somewhere, there is someone that will take their money with absolutely no questions asked (IMHO, TOO MANY LADIES fall into this category). None of them will pass my screening as it won't even begin, let alone be completed.

Of that last 15%, about half are genuine complete assholes (or have the capacity to be if they are allowed - I just shut them down now, they are easy to spot . . . ). All of them will make my DNS list.

So it would not be, IMHE, a rule or an exception - just a fact. A statistic. A given cost of doing business. Something to be expected.

On the other hand, many ladies can be quite rude . . . I'm guilty of it too occasionally, I get burned out, my fuse gets short . . . or I'll encounter something (like I did today) that is so egregiously stupid and indiscreet that I just let it rip (and damn can I let it rip) . . . Oh well, if I wasn't bat-shit crazy, I wouldn't be an Escort - right?

LOL

Kisses,

- Jackie

@Jackie....I know, somebody let my ex know, she will claim it is impossible, lol

Actually, you can see, I went ahead did posted, hopefully in somewhat better terminology, than B4, as to what I was wondering about.

I'll be the first, I like to post, but really still a relative outsider in today's hobby "inner lupe" environment....although thanks to this site, over the last 1 or 2 that has somewhat change.

And I know, there will always be this certain friction between providers and guys...as the assholes on both sides make it more difficult.

But is that great "in between" group....is it that difficult or even confrontational????

@Jackie....I know, somebody let my ex know, she will claim it is impossible, lol

Actually, you can see, I went ahead did posted, hopefully in somewhat better terminology, than B4, as to what I was wondering about.

I'll be the first, I like to post, but really still a relative outsider in today's hobby "inner lupe" environment....although thanks to this site, over the last 1 or 2 that has somewhat change.

And I know, there will always be this certain friction between providers and guys...has the assholes on both sides make it more difficult.

But is that great "in between" group....is it that difficult or even confrontational???? Originally Posted by vkmaster

Yes, I noticed that and modified my post to answer your question based on my experience.

See above.

Kisses,

- Jackie

@vkmaster-
On the other hand, many ladies can be quite rude . . . I'm guilty of it too occasionally, I get burned out, my fuse gets short . . . or I'll encounter something (like I did today) that is so egregiously stupid and indiscreet that I just let it rip (and damn can I let it rip) . . . Oh well, if I wasn't bat shit crazy, I wouldn't be an Escort - right?

LOL

Kisses,

- Jackie Originally Posted by Jackie Devlin

Thanks Jackie...God knows Ive experienced this as well