The biggest cause it seems is the 'change'...women losing interest during menopause.
Originally Posted by alluringava
Certainly every situation is unique, but menopause undoubtedly made it worse.
The most popular stereotype about providers in the civilian world seems to be the "victim of abuse" meme. Maybe it's got legs, maybe not, but the flip side has to be at least as valid, disinterest or withholding of sex very often stems from being raised by overbearing parents, particularly (and in the case of my SO, an overbearing mother). DATY is just "dirty" and BBJ to completion is "nothing in it for me".
LOL, as a newly wed she expressed dismay at my wanting sex two or more times a week, "I thought you were more intelligent than that". She denies saying it a quarter of a century later, but I'll never forget it, nor the endless, sleepless nights of unrequited desire laying within arms reach of a fantastically beautiful woman who cooed, "I love you" literally dozens of times a day, but still put sex on page two of the priority list.
Now I'll bring the subject of sex up occasionally, usually get turned down, then bring it up again in a few days, but that's it, I decided asking more than twice is begging (like the old days), and that isn't my idea of good foreplay.
Sorry for the rant, not a good week.