Happily Married but......

Mike007's Avatar
Women are not stupid. I'm not giving you any grief but if your getting strange I would bet so is she. If that's ok then it's alright I guess but if it's not then keep it in your pants until you get home. I did for 27 years and don't regret a minute. Originally Posted by burkalini
You never know.

Even though I participate in the hobby I never did while married. If you are really happy with your spouse you will find ways to keep it fresh and exciting. I belive if you looking around your taking the easy way out. It's just me guiys and I am not looking down on anyone here. You all have your own beliefs Originally Posted by burkalini
Agree with most of this one. I'm stuck out of town a few nights a week and like I said, I get bored. As far as when I was single?....I never did this when I was single. I just dated. I don't want a girlfriend...I just want to have sex with someone new and then send them on their way.

I am in NOW WAY justifying what I do mind you. I know it's wrong. I know I shouldn't do it. I just thought it would be interesting to see if others felt the way I do. Might make me a terrible person in some peoples opinion, but there it is.

Does someone have to be miserable at home or unable to get laid to hobby? I wouldn't think so.
burkalini's Avatar
I am not looking down on you at all and you made a very honest statement. I just happen to dissagree with it but it's a round world and we all do what we think is best
Sweet N Little's Avatar
Many venture out for the thrill, to feel alive again .. Many do due to emotional dissatisfaction .

Here's a list of some reasons..
  • Boredom – Men tend to get bored of their married life. Life, at times, become monotonous. The wife may be too involved with household chores and children and may not have the time for him. He is in search of excitement and finds it in another woman.
  • A roving eye – Men are supposed to have a roving eye. They like looking and admiring other women. They like to taste something “new” and “different.”
  • A nagging wife – Many husbands get fed up with a nagging wife at home and prefer the loving and caring company of another woman.
  • A neglected wife – Many women do not take care of themselves. They go out of shape. They lose out on their figure. At home, they do not take care of their appearance or dress up properly. Naturally, a man gets fed up with his wife and prefers a better looking woman.
  • Sexual incompatibility is also a reason why men go in for another woman. A few years down the line the husband may feel his emotional and physical needs are not being met and tends to seek the company of another woman. The husband often finds an outlet for his physical and emotional needs by having an affair with another woman.
  • To try out something new is often a reason given by the husband for indulging in an extra-marital affair. He often feels he needs a change of scene and would like to spend time with someone who is “different” and perhaps “more exciting”.
  • Easy access to female companionship is another factor which provides an opportunity for a husband to have an extra-marital affair. Often on business trips, he tends to take advantage of being with another female colleague and enters into a relationship with her.
  • Male ego is also another factor for men to cheat upon their wives. Husbands often feel superior about being a man and like to focus on their “macho” qualities of being able to attract another woman.
  • Peer pressure also encourages a man to cheat upon his wife. Some friends may cajole him into trying out something “new”. They often introduce him to other females with whom he can spend more time.
  • A wife paying too much attention to children and household chores often forces a man to go in for relationships outside marriage. He feels neglected. He wants more attention and since he is not getting it at home he prefers to get it from an outsider.
burkalini's Avatar
Many venture out for the thrill, to feel alive again .. Many do due to emotional dissatisfaction .

Here's a list of some reasons..
  • Boredom – Men tend to get bored of their married life. Life, at times, become monotonous. The wife may be too involved with household chores and children and may not have the time for him. He is in search of excitement and finds it in another woman.
  • A roving eye – Men are supposed to have a roving eye. They like looking and admiring other women. They like to taste something “new” and “different.”
  • A nagging wife – Many husbands get fed up with a nagging wife at home and prefer the loving and caring company of another woman.
  • A neglected wife – Many women do not take care of themselves. They go out of shape. They lose out on their figure. At home, they do not take care of their appearance or dress up properly. Naturally, a man gets fed up with his wife and prefers a better looking woman.
  • Sexual incompatibility is also a reason why men go in for another woman. A few years down the line the husband may feel his emotional and physical needs are not being met and tends to seek the company of another woman. The husband often finds an outlet for his physical and emotional needs by having an affair with another woman.
  • To try out something new is often a reason given by the husband for indulging in an extra-marital affair. He often feels he needs a change of scene and would like to spend time with someone who is “different” and perhaps “more exciting”.
  • Easy access to female companionship is another factor which provides an opportunity for a husband to have an extra-marital affair. Often on business trips, he tends to take advantage of being with another female colleague and enters into a relationship with her.
  • Male ego is also another factor for men to cheat upon their wives. Husbands often feel superior about being a man and like to focus on their “macho” qualities of being able to attract another woman.
  • Peer pressure also encourages a man to cheat upon his wife. Some friends may cajole him into trying out something “new”. They often introduce him to other females with whom he can spend more time.
  • A wife paying too much attention to children and household chores often forces a man to go in for relationships outside marriage. He feels neglected. He wants more attention and since he is not getting it at home he prefers to get it from an outsider.
Originally Posted by Sweet N Little

Sweet those are all good reasons but they they just show problems in the marriage. If you can't work them out then you don't have a good marriage and should get out of it. I know it easier said than done because of children and economics but if you ask a child that's grown up in a house with with problems then they will probably say it would been better for everyone to get a divorce instead. Marriage is fucking hard sometimes but it is a promise and if you can't keep the promise then you should thank each other for the good things and go your separate ways. I know there were times when a pretty young thing was leaning up against me and giving me the signal that she was interested but I just stayed nice to her and left it at that. My wife had the same things happen to her. In fact we used to talk to each other about it . I know it's hard because I think men are biologically geared toward spreading the seed but we are the most intelligent beings on Earth ( up for discussion sometimes. lol ) and should be able to reason things out. I'm sorry for preaching on a hooker board but it's the one thing I truly believe in and will be married only once in my life. Ok you can tell me to get fucked now and believe me guys when I say I'm not putting anyone down but just saying what I believe.
simpleton's Avatar
How happily married will you be if/when she finds out?
Some women develope a physical limitation or inability. For some it is emotional, yet no less debilitationg. Just throwing this out to add in, even though it does not appear to be releant to the op.
I was thinking. I'm happily married to a beautiful woman. She gives me pretty good sex and has a beautiful body. So I was asking myself.....why do I hobby? I only have one review but I have been doing this for about 5 years off and on.

Bottom line is I guess I get bored and love meeting new girls. It's that simple. I couldn't really ask for more from my wife. I love her the way she is. But I gotta have some "strange" once in a while!

Anyone else kinda in the same boat? Happily married but.....??? Originally Posted by Mike007

I think most men would say variety is a factor in that case. But most of the men I see no longer have much sex with their wives.
Also it's interesting though...when men say they are 'happily married'....if you really were, you wouldn't have to broadcast it.
Mike007's Avatar
I think most men would say variety is a factor in that case. But most of the men I see no longer have much sex with their wives.
Also it's interesting though...when men say they are 'happily married'....if you really were, you wouldn't have to broadcast it. Originally Posted by alluringava

Hmmm? Okay. But the point of the post was just that... so I kind of HAD to say it. I assumed that a lot of hobbyists are married. I don't know that, I guess I just assumed it. So posting "Married but...." really was't what I was asking about. And obviously, as many of you pointed out, SOMETHINGS not right. Else why would I be here? I think I'm just a horny toad but that's not fair...you all know me and my situation better than I know myself apparently!

So happily married is at the very least an overstatement? Okay, I'll amend that to: I am not necessarily aware that I am unhappy in my marriage but....I still Hobby!

I thought it was an interesting question. Guess not.
Hmmm? Okay. But the point of the post was just that... so I kind of HAD to say it. I assumed that a lot of hobbyists are married. I don't know that, I guess I just assumed it. So posting "Married but...." really was't what I was asking about. And obviously, as many of you pointed out, SOMETHINGS not right. Else why would I be here? I think I'm just a horny toad but that's not fair...you all know me and my situation better than I know myself apparently!

So happily married is at the very least an overstatement? Okay, I'll amend that to: I am not necessarily aware that I am unhappy in my marriage but....I still Hobby!

I thought it was an interesting question. Guess not. Originally Posted by Mike007

That was an honest assessment. My statement was based primarily on what I do hear from most married men. MOST of the ones who hobby do say that they're simply not getting enough sex at home. But a few of my long-term clients who openly said to me ( I bluntly told them that there was no need to especially tell an escort they were 'happily' married because it seemed hypocritical. As I said, I don't care or need to know, and if they were truly happy, they wouldn't have to tell me, it was almost a justification of why they were cheating) later on ( these were clients who also became good friends and we still keep in contact to this day after years) they revealed to me that they were not happily married. Their marriages weren't bad and they didn't fight with their spouse, and even had 'pretty good sex' with their wives, BUT, there were a lot of underlying issues as to why these men justified why they hobbied. One of them saw escorts only once in a while, the other one saw dozens. The one who saw many escorts said to me that when his wife pissed him off and he didn't feel like arguing, he would simply 'do whatever I wanted and cheat on her' but he didn't want an 'affair', he simply wanted a temporary sexual fix, thus, he called escorts.


Neither of these clients wanted the complications of an affair or a mistress, but they were not happily married either. While I certainly believe you can have a GOOD marriage and be generally satisfied, I don't necessarily believe that a man has to tell people he's happily married if he really IS. Especially not to an escort.
Physically, I do not think that HUMANS are meant to be monogamous.

Mentally, it is a different story or at least for me. I don't know if I can handle an open relationship or not, but am now would be more accepting of this than before entering the hobby world.

I've never been married as I've enjoyed the freedom of being with others.
Ernest Heming's Avatar
Sweet and Little said it best: Many venture out for the thrill, to feel alive again
That is my reason. Still happily married after over 30 years. Still the love of my life.
By visiting a provider there are no strings attached. Emotion of the moment. She makes me feel special and i provdie a need for her. We can walk away and it is back to the present. Those moments with the provider make me feel a zest for life that touches me to the bone.
Physically, I do not think that HUMANS are meant to be monogamous.

Mentally, it is a different story or at least for me. I don't know if I can handle an open relationship or not, but am now would be more accepting of this than before entering the hobby world.

I've never been married as I've enjoyed the freedom of being with others. Originally Posted by gigi_gypsy
Yep... I agree.
tonytiger4u's Avatar
When I was happily married, hobbying was the furthest thing from my mind. When a lady would flirt with me I wouldn't even realize it. My friends used to tease me about being gay for not flirting back. I was happy and not looking. A couple of years after we drifted apart... well I'm here aren't I. There is a big difference between happy and going thru the motions because you are supposed to. Just saying...
Highball's Avatar
Its biological. It is in our DNA. Its been an aspect of human existence since the beginning of time. Polygamy was in the Bible. Happily married men screwed multiple women as a standard aspect of society. In my experience happily married women have just as many affairs as men. They are only unhappy when trying to understand and repress their natural urge to cross breed. Live your life to the fullest, screw and experience anyone you desire to and can get. Be careful, dont hurt anyone, keep your mouth shut, and enjoy the days that you can be sexually active. There will come a time when you no longer can.....Man, Jack Handys' deep thoughts on poontang!
ICU 812's Avatar
Well its one way to "cat around" with out the complication tand drama hat would come with an affaire with som eone in the real-world.

You never have to call the next day, it can always be someone "new" , its alwayse a sure-thing-date . . .and its alwayse there when YOU want it. . . . or not.