Financial Domination

There is another, much more intimate, form of financial domination. The Dom/me takes control of all aspects of the submissive's finances, including all cards and checkbooks. Their bills, their groceries, their mortgage and their spending money all become the domain (and the responsibility) of the Dominant. This doesn't mean that the Dom/me might not occasionally treat themselves to something to let the sub know they can if they so desire, but the primary goal is to control the sub's access to their own finances, not to bankrupt them. Obviously this is about trust and power, not money. I have found that this arrangement is time consuming and has the potential to be a huge burden. Originally Posted by Miss Sophie Bella

From the little that I've read about this subject (and let's face it, many would find it appealing on some level!) this is the most well-grounded response that I've read. It just does seem like it would be a lot of work and certainly a burden.

But honestly, I find the whole "being a domme" situation to be VERY difficult (when I'm trying to be really good at it) so I'm probably being the naysayer here in this group.

Elisabeth

There is another, much more intimate, form of financial domination. The Dom/me takes control of all aspects of the submissive's finances, including all cards and checkbooks. Their bills, their groceries, their mortgage and their spending money all become the domain (and the responsibility) of the Dominant. This doesn't mean that the Dom/me might not occasionally treat themselves to something to let the sub know they can if they so desire, but the primary goal is to control the sub's access to their own finances, not to bankrupt them. Obviously this is about trust and power, not money. I have found that this arrangement is time consuming and has the potential to be a huge burden. Originally Posted by Miss Sophie Bella

Honestly, in my private life I am very similar to this. It is exhausting to constantly argue about money and power. It’s much, much better emotionally, spiritually and sexually to just not be in charge. It is a very unambiguous situation when one of the two is the clear leader. In my experience, it creates harmony. Who really wants to argue about where we are going to dinner and how much can be spent on a handbag. I’d rather just have my spending money and be done with it, and I rarely care if we have steak or sushi. Maybe I’m being too simplistic, but I don’t think so. I have very peaceful private relationships.

Honestly, in my private life I am very similar to this. It is exhausting to constantly argue about money and power. It’s much, much better emotionally, spiritually and sexually to just not be in charge. It is a very unambiguous situation when one of the two is the clear leader. In my experience, it creates harmony. Who really wants to argue about where we are going to dinner and how much can be spent on a handbag. I’d rather just have my spending money and be done with it, and I rarely care if we have steak or sushi. Maybe I’m being too simplistic, but I don’t think so. I have very peaceful private relationships. Originally Posted by OliviaHoward

Sweetheart, I think the desire to be relieved of responsibility is a natural one. Modern life places upon us unreasonable and unsustainable demands that sap our time, emotional resources, attention and energy. When presented with the opportunity to give something as significant as financial control over to someone you trust I think it can be an enormous weight off your shoulders. I adore my role as Dominant in my relationships, but I have found this particular area to be much too intimate territory for a P4P arrangement. It definitely only works for me as part of a personal, long-term love affair.

Why not just a simple sugar daddy relationship - with the provider getting $1-2,000 per month for an extended dinner date once per week and a one-week luxury vacation (fully paid) once every three months or so for an additional $1,000? I think that's a pretty good deal. Any takers?

Why not just a simple sugar daddy relationship - with the provider getting $1-2,000 per month for an extended dinner date once per week and a one-week luxury vacation (fully paid) once every three months or so for an additional $1,000? I think that's a pretty good deal. Any takers? Originally Posted by rp

I've had some very successful long term arrangements similar to what you describe, but financial domination in the BDSM sense is a form of power play that isn't accurately reflected in the sugar daddy/sugar baby dynamic. My experience has been that it is about a full release of financial power on the part of one party and a full acceptance of that responsibility by the other as an exercise in intense power exchange. It's quite separate from the ongoing, mutually beneficial arrangement of a sugar daddy.

MMMMM!

Sweetheart, I think the desire to be relieved of responsibility is a natural one. Modern life places upon us unreasonable and unsustainable demands that sap our time, emotional resources, attention and energy. When presented with the opportunity to give something as significant as financial control over to someone you trust I think it can be an enormous weight off your shoulders. I adore my role as Dominant in my relationships, but I have found this particular area to be much too intimate territory for a P4P arrangement. It definitely only works for me as part of a personal, long-term love affair. Originally Posted by Miss Sophie Bella

Agreed, it is completely and utterly out side of this realm. That’s why I referred to my private life. In this world, things are much different. In my non-demimonde world, business life I am quite aggressive. In my demimonde life I am significantly less aggressive because my basic nature is to be uncombative with regard to male / female relations. In my personal life, I prefer the aforementioned, in my opinion, rational relationship because it suits my basic nature.

I have kids. Ergo, I am financially dominated. I have zero control over all this money (I exaggerate).

Olivia, your reference that you don't mind if you have steak or sushi cracked me up. Kinda reminded me Marie Antoinette's "Let them eat cake" comment. I am wondering which is considered a sacrifice for you--the steak or sushi?

I hope you know I am just messing with you.

I was reading this post because I am wondering why it seems the Dommes who advertise their services all seem to be, well, I don't know, sexless cruellas? Is there not a mixture of domme and courtesan available to the discerning, yet kinky gentleman?

When I said I was reading this post, I meant that I was in this section. Gawd, am I brain dead tonite?

Ok, so I googled financial slave. From what I can tell is that a financial slave is a sugar daddy that has a bit of a kink and twist to him? Right? I always thought sugar daddy's were older than me not kinkier than me . Originally Posted by OliviaHoward

If I had enough money, I would be your sugardaddy. And I am older than you, and I bet I am kinkier also.

Alas being older and kinkier does not a sugardaddy make.

If I had enough money, I would be your sugardaddy. And I am older than you, and I bet I am kinkier also.

Alas being older and kinkier does not a sugardaddy make. Originally Posted by barneyrubble

Barney,
You are so funny. Ok, older and kinkier is good too .

I am such a slave to food, sushi could be cake just as steak could be cake on any given day. I guess what I was trying to say is this. One, I am naturally very domesticated at home and with my partner. Two, I don’t like the stress that constant power struggles put on me and my partner. I get enough of that in my real job and in the real world. And finally, I don’t like to argue. Now, I’m not saying that I am, or any domestically submissive woman, a door mat. I am far from that. I just don’t want to be in charge, but I don’t / wouldn’t put up with irrational, irresponsible or abusive behavior either. Hence, the great responsibility that Miss Sophia spoke of earlier in the thread.

You are too much!

(But you knew that already, didn't you?)

Elisabeth Originally Posted by ElisabethWhispers

You are too kind, my dear. And while I appreciate the vote of confidence, I prefer to think of myself as just slightly more than you are accustomed to, but never too much.

I am such a slave to food, sushi could be cake just as steak could be cake on any given day. I guess what I was trying to say is this. One, I am naturally very domesticated at home and with my partner. Two, I don’t like the stress that constant power struggles put on me and my partner. I get enough of that in my real job and in the real world. And finally, I don’t like to argue. Now, I’m not saying that I am, or any domestically submissive woman, a door mat. I am far from that. I just don’t want to be in charge, but I don’t / wouldn’t put up with irrational, irresponsible or abusive behavior either. Hence, the great responsibility that Miss Sophia spoke of earlier in the thread. Originally Posted by OliviaHoward

Olivia, you sound positively delightful. Your partner is a very lucky man (or woman.)