How much has hobbying ruined your dating life?

Will Boner's Avatar
Changed my whole perspective on dating. Before meant going on a date and spending the whole evening trying to impress her, make her laugh, hope she liked me and that I could strike gold by the third date. Now, I could care less. She can like me as I am, and I don't give a fuck if she fucks me now or later, or never. Because I'm only a phone or text away from great sex with my ATF's. And they won't bitch at me if I don't give them enough attention, listen to their bullshit, or if I want to watch sports instead of going to the mall. Yes, It's made dating much easier.
Laura Lynn's Avatar
I don't know if providing has hurt my dating life. I finally cut ties with all my FWB, fuck buddies, and players because of the hobby.

Dating is just hard I think. The free dating sites, like plenty of fish, are just meat markets. Then, not to mention going on a date and NOT putting out, really is extremely tough (not being sarcastic). I'm still trying to learn to balance RL and providing.
er48665's Avatar
For me it has enhanced my dating life. No more trying to impress a girl just so I can take her home that night. Girls get the real me and not the stereotypical guy trying to impress every girl. And they seem to like me more, when cutting out the fake shit.
TexTushHog's Avatar
I am much more relaxed nowadays with the civvies. Originally Posted by pyramider
I think that there is something to that. You become a less interested in trying to read signals from women to see if you're "doing OK" in their eyes. It's more like, if she likes you, fine; if not, not big deal. And that may make you more detached, but at the same time may make you a better listener because you are less invested in selling yourself.
For an old married guy (26 years), it doesn't affect my dating life at all! Ha! In fact, it has had several positive effects in my life. I am less often pissed at my wife's total lack of sex drive. If she is fine with once a week, or less, I am fine with seeing providers for my other two or three times. I also feel more confident in the company of beautiful women of any age, because I have met and fucked some of the most beautiful women in Dallas. I am happy that I am not in the dating scene. For me, I have the best of both worlds, a loving wife and a Hobby I love! Originally Posted by Raddabbler
This.

Every once in a while I forget that I'm with the wife and pull her hair. Her reaction is priceless lol.
Bestman200600's Avatar
I have been spoiled by some very nice ladies in the hobby. If I didn't get a BNG on the first date with a civilian, I would put her on my DNS list. My provider friends have raised my expectations on dates and its just a matter of who is going to wear out who first on a date. Love the hobby and my girl friends.
Roly-Poly's Avatar
I never got the hang of dating. But for what little dating I've tried the hobby has taken the desperation and some of the sexual anxiety away.

I also don't have the drive to pursue civilians anymore, but I'm not sure if it's because of the hobby or because I've simply given up.
pyramider's Avatar
I think that there is something to that. You become a less interested in trying to read signals from women to see if you're "doing OK" in their eyes. It's more like, if she likes you, fine; if not, not big deal. And that may make you more detached, but at the same time may make you a better listener because you are less invested in selling yourself. Originally Posted by TexTushHog

You make sound better than I. I usually just claim laziness.
Captain Caveman's Avatar
Changed my whole perspective on dating. Before meant going on a date and spending the whole evening trying to impress her, make her laugh, hope she liked me and that I could strike gold by the third date. Now, I could care less. She can like me as I am, and I don't give a fuck if she fucks me now or later, or never. Because I'm only a phone or text away from great sex with my ATF's. And they won't bitch at me if I don't give them enough attention, listen to their bullshit, or if I want to watch sports instead of going to the mall. Yes, It's made dating much easier. Originally Posted by Hugh Jardon
I second this... this has been my exact experience as well. The hobby has made me more relaxed when it comes to dating. A date with a civvie can happen... or not... I might get laid... or not. But it has given me that aloofness with civvies in that they want to hang out with me more.
Jewish Lawyer's Avatar
Since I never had a dating life before, it has not hurt it a bit.

How many civilian girls would want to date a 350lb (on my skinny days) guy who lives with his mother? Originally Posted by yourself
I'm guessing 345 pound girls who live with their mother, and you don't want to date them?